Insomnia
by Kiraiya R
Summary: Alternate Reality - Where did the days go when you hung with friends? Cut cookies together and stared at the stars with your mother? Now it's teen hell, bullies, cutting, and blood...To share that with someone would be heaven...
1. To Be Loved Again

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**During the summer I get into a gloomy mood and love to write more serious stuff. It rains a lot where I live and this is based a little bit on my life, so it's more personal than my other Rin and Haru fics. But hope you love this fic. Enjoy chapter one.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", insert song is "Over" and ending song is "Change", all three are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR.

**Chapter Preview:**_I kept thinking about how I even got into this situation anyways. It was his fault. It was always his damn fault I was in situations like this. Always having to take his blows from him. Always being harrassed by his gross hands and sickening touches. Being hurt night after night._

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

**xXxXxXx**

**::I::**

"**To Be Loved Again"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

"Stay the hell out of our teritory you fucking bitch. You don't belong here, so go die somewhere in an alley you whore," they all started to laugh. About seven or eight surrounded me. I couldn't run anywhere, though they told me to do so. I felt tears coming. My throat began to ache and my heart raced faster and faster by the moment.

One guy about five inches taller than me pushed me. Two more even fondled my breasts. I pushed their filthy hands away and held my arms tight to my chest. My face started to burn and I felt embarrassed. Two girls started to giggle and mock me, like I was the ugliest girl in the school.

"Let's lock her in the shed! That'll teach her not to come around here again. Teach her to never ever step foot in our turf ever again. Right gang?!" a tall boy everybody called Eiji clapped as more gang members walked out from the bushes and trees.

I kept thinking about how I even got into this situation anyways. It was _his fault. _It was always his damn fault I was in situations like this. Always having to take his blows from him. Always being harrassed by his gross hands and sickening touches. Being hurt night after night.

Running away for the night because his nastiness and abuse. This night was different from the other nights though. I had walked into some gangs turf just passing by the park. Living in this stupid big city was tough. I can't even walk around without being yelled at by random people on the streets calling me Japanese trash.

Four guys to be about eighteen grabbed my arms and legs and forced me into a small shed just around an abandoned building's corner. They opened the door and violently shoved me in. I was soaking wet from the pouring and freezing rain, my arms ached and my legs were covered in bruises.

"Heh, if you dare try and escape, you'll have to face the consequences," the Eiji guy kicked my leg and slammed the shed's door shut, leaving nothing but an echo behind. The laughter of the gang members calmed down and I felt a little bit more at ease.

But his threat scared me. What if I did try to escape? What would they do to me? It's night and there's hardly any cops our because the cops are worthless pigs who can't protect anybody even if they tried. They aren't out at night because of all these damn gang members. The cops are all scared of them. Scared they'll all be shot and killed.

That made me wonder too...If I did escape, soon I'd be on the news. The headline would be "Local Unknown Girl Shot and Killed By Gang Members". Not that anybody would care though. Especially _him. _He would laugh and I'd finally be out of his life. And he'd be out of mine.

It'd be better to die a horrid death. I'd rather be killed by a gang than have to be abused by _his ugly ass. His fucking fondling me every night. His fucking hitting me every night._

I slowly laid down in the cold shed and cried freely. I removed my wet brown and black jacket and used it as a pillow. I couldn't sleep though. I looked at my bare legs with only my black shorts to keep my legs warm. My long brown lace boots were starting to wear out, wetting my feet inside the boots.

There were several holes in my brown tank top and lace vest. My arm warmers were also wet and holy. I sobbed silently, remembering what had just happened.

"No wonder I'm called a whore," I whispered. Yet it wasn't my fault. These were basically my only clothes I had. The only other clothes I had were a black pair of jeans and my black tennis shoes. I cried harder, thinking about my stupid and fucked up life.

I sat up and hugged my knees. The memory came back to me about what happened earlier today. Basically what happens every day. Ever since my mother killed herself. Ever since my sister left us. Ever since my friends betrayed me. Ever since I lost all hope in finding a new life.

**Nine Hours Earlier**

**1:29 p.m.**

"Wake the hell up, damn Isuzu!" he slammed my door closed the second he finished. I sat up and rubbed my tired eyes. I looked at my alarm clock. It didn't go off again. I could have sworn that I set it the night before. I missed school again. There were only three more hours of school left. Yet those three hours would be better than being in hell all day.

I threw off the thin sheet I used for a "blanket" and popped my aching back. Ever since my mother commited suicide a few months back, I was alone. My step father was all I had now. Just him and I. My older sister, Kagura left me without a word a month after mother killed herself. She was all I had. The only support I had. The only protection from my step dad.

Now she's gone and it's just me and Satan's helper living with me. Ha...He doesn't even deserve to be called Satan's helper. He's lower than that. He's Satan himself. I looked at my mat of a bed and stood up to brush my hair. What was in store for me today? Hopefully I'd be able to sneak away to school. On good days he'd let me go to school if I was late.

Hopefully today was a good day.

"Get the hell in here!" his scratchy voice yelled from behind my closet of a room door.

Nope...Today was definently going to be a bad day...

"Coming!" I called back.

"No, NOW!" his voice was louder than before. I rolled my eyes and quickly got dressed, in my black shorts...my tank top and lace vest...my only outfit. I opened the door and slowly walked into the kitchen.

My step dad stood up from the dining room table and walked closer to me. I slightly backed away.

"What took you so long to get up?! Your damn principal's been calling all day. I kept having to tell her you were sick. Damn, how many times have you missed school?! I've been getting letters in the mail saying you've been skipping school too, aside from your damn laziness. You can't even get out of bed! What've you been doing anyway?! You've probably been fucking prostituting behind my back! Haven't you!? Damn whore!" with my step dad's words, he grabbed my long, dark tresses and pulled them hard.

"Ugh..." I cried out trying to pull my hair back.

"Don't make this any harder than it is you bitch, your mommy's not here to help you anymore. She left because of you! She's never coming back so quit trying to fight back!" he yelled and pushed me down. I landed on my back and felt the tears coming to my eyes.

"Might as well not go to school since you're too lazy to anyway. Go downstairs or something. I'm already tired of looking at your ugly face," the veins in his forehead slightly went down from their bulge. His whole face was red and his eyes were blood shot from yelling at me so hard.

He walked outside to smoke a ciggarette for a while. Those few moments he smoked were almost an escape for me. I at least got some time to myself in this stupid house. This was my chance to run out of the front door and run to school.

I grabbed my bag and jacket and ran outside as fast as I could. I quickly made sure I had my subway card and some money. Once I got to the subway station, I pushed my way through the crowd and felt much more safer. I gave a sigh of relief and sat down in an empty seat on the train. People didn't stare at me here, considering there were either too many or they were all in a hurry.

When I got to school, I made my way in the halls and into my class that I was having now. My sixth period algebra class. People stared at me and sometimes the girls would make fun of me. The boy that sat behind me pulled my hair a lot. A blond girl would even call me a Japanese whore, she sat next to me and sometimes would pass notes to me. I learned to just throw them away, but later on they'd end up in my locker later in the day.

Yet today was different. I was left alone for some reason. Everybody actually payed attention to their work instead of mocking me. That gave me a change to do my own work. During my break hour I sat alone in a classroom and read or wrote about my feelings. On bad days I'd cry in the bathroom. The classroom I'd sit alone in was always empty and no teachers would go in there. I called it my "Alone Room".

I sat there and a guy walked by and saw me. He was kind of a pimply and ugly dude. He grinned at me and came into the class room.

"Hey hun, what's up?" his nasty voice asked as he sat next to me in a desk.

"What the hell do you want?" I glared at him.

"Oh, a little frisky today, are we Isuzu?" he laughed and stroked my hair.

"Get away," I took my hand and pushed his greasy hand away. My heart started to speed up from the adrenaline rush of wanting to punch him.

"I love a girl who is frisky. Why don't we hook up sometime. Go drink in an alley and then I'll take you back to my place and we'll get it on," he took his hand and touched my breast. I quickly stood up, knocking the chair I was sitting on to fall backwards.

"I get this shit enough day after day, night after night. I don't want any filthy, rotton men to touch me in any way whatsoever. There's no way in hell I'll go out with you, scum bag, drug addict. So why don't you go die in an alley somewhere, do us all a favor and drop out already. You look too old," I yelled and glared at him. He was taken aback by my yelling, considering I hardly talk.

I grabbed my bag and walked out of the class room. I had half an hour left of free time. What would I do now? Walk the halls? No, too dangerous, considering teachers lurked around every corner, asking constantly "where's your hall pass?". That made me sick. My only other option was the bathroom.

Quickly, I ran into the nearest rest room and into the stall. I locked the door and sat on the floor next to the gross toilet. Two minutes later, two girls came into the bathroom. Their voices so familiar, I just knew what they'd be talking about. It was my two ex-best friends. Keiko and Chai. The first to speak was Keiko.

"God damn it, I hate her. She's so annoying and she skips school just to make us do our stupid project on our own. Then she comes to school way later so she won't have to see us anymore," Keiko sighed hard. Chai spoke up next.

"I know, what a bitch. She's probably a prostitute, at least that's what all the guys in our grade say. God she's so retarded. Did you see her walk into her math class earlier? She looks like trash!" Chai laughed. I wouldn't dare move.

"Isuzu's retarded, she should die. Remember when she tried to commit suicide by overdosing on pills last year? How pathetic! She even wrote us goodbye notes and called it her last day on earth! Ha! She's so dumb!" Keiko turned on the water, possibly to wipe away her over make-uped face for the day. They walked out a few minutes later, thank goodness. I hugged my knees and felt tears coming on.

Damn, why the hell did I have to be so sensitive? Why the hell did I ever look at Keiko and Chai as friends? They betrayed me because they became popular. I had nobody left. Nobody left to love me anymore. Not my mother. Not my sister, Kagura. Nobody...Not anybody...

After school was out, I had no choice but to go hom because my step dad came to pick me up outside of the school yard. I got into his beat up car and he sped off.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me you were going to school? I was looking for you so you could wash all those damned dishes today. This is the real world, you think I'd let you off easy today, Isuzu?!" he yelled. Fifteen minutes later we were home. He slammed the door shut and pulled me out of the car. He locked me in my room.

"I'll call you when dinner's ready. It's your room so you can do whatever you want," he yelled from behind the door. I silently cried on my bed and drifted into a deep sleep.

I awoke to thunder roaring across the skies. Suddenly, my step dad slammed the door open.

"Damn you, you stupid whore! You shouldn't have gone to school today!" his voice was slurred. That could only mean one thing. He was drunk. I stood up and was about to run behind him out of my door, but I was too late. He grabbed me by the hair and pushed me down hard. Tears instantly sprung from my eyes.

"Damn you...you've been with a boy haven't you?!" he yelled. He'd accuse me of being with a boy when he was drunk. His false accusations were usually the ones that led to my bruises. He kicked my legs and slapped me across the face as he pulled me to my feet.

He grabbed my arms and pushed me onto the bed.

"I'll show you what it's like to be with a man again," he glared and started to unzip his pants. This was my chance to escape. I looked out the window and then at the open door behind him. I looked at the lamp by my bedside and acted fast. I grabbed it and hit it across his head. He yelled in pain.

_**I will kick door  
I will crash wall  
Stop!? Go!?  
Cut a way, yourself**_

I fell off my bed and stood up and ran out the door.

"Get back here!" he yelled feeling his head. I quickly unlocked the door and slammed it, running into the freezing rain. Lightning shot across the skies. I started to blindly run.

_**I go without knowing my destination  
Without stopping, I keep running**_

As I ran, memories flashed through my mind. Of my mother's voice. Of my sister's voice. They both always told me to never give up and to always stand up for what I believed in. Yet when my step father came along, my mother changed. She began to look at things like he did and started to ignore me and my sister. Yet my mother was convinced that I was a mistake. She left us without a word.

_**Kick door and crash wall  
The existing tension surges to a climax  
Headway jump over it  
Make a Natural Mind with my hands  
Kick door and crash wall  
Much more I want more  
Just now!! Go!! I over border line**_

She killed herself and left us all. My sister left a while after that and left me here all alone...All alone...With nobody to love me again...

_**Entangled by countless weights  
Without an inclination, I keep running...**_

And now here I am...Sitting in this shed after running into some gang's property. Wanting out. Wanting to be like it was before my stupid step dad came along. Ten minutes later, I wanted out even more than ever.

I pounded on the shed door and finally, it opened. Yet there the gang stood, probably just waiting for me to escape.

"Ah, so you decide to be a bad girl today eh? Boys?" the Eiji dude laughed and two guys came over to me and pushed me down. My head hit the shed and the two guys ripped off my lace vest, with nothing but my tank top to cover me.

The girls began to laugh hard and the boys cheered. The rain fell harder and the lightning raced across the sky.

One guy held my arms down as I struggled to get away. The other was about to rape me. I screamed, yet they held my mouth to try and drown my screams. I was cold and soaking wet. Before I was about to feel the pain, a voice ripped into the night and interrupted the gang's laughter.

"Let her go..." his voice was soothing and it made me feel a little relieved that someone was standing up for me. The question was...Who was it?

"Who the hell are you?!" Eiji yelled. The two guys backed away from me. Out of the darkness came a tall guy with silver and black hair. His grey eyes burned into me, making me feel so calm for some reason.

"The name's Hatsuharu, and I suggest you leave her alone," his hands were in his long white coat and he wore goggles.

"Oh, that's a name to be scared of! And what will you do if we don't let this whore girl go?!" Eiji yelled again.

"There just might be one less idiot in the world," that Hatsuharu guy yelled as he punched Eiji in the nose. Eiji fell to the ground. The guys looked surprised and all started to charge at the Hatusharu guy. Yet he blocked each and every one of their moves. He kicked them, punched them, flipped them over and elbowed them. He was quick. Quicker than anybody I had ever seen. When he was done, he had laid out each and every one of the guys.

The girls had already ran off screaming.

"You okay?" he asked holding out his hand. I was barely able to nod...Did he just save me?

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	2. Cage

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**Chapter I was all about Isuzu, and chapter II will look into the life of her saviour, as you guessed it, Haru! It will explain why Haru looks at his life like a cage. Enjoy chapter II.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", the ending song is "Change", both are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR. The insert song is Haru's theme, it's called "Cage" by Dir en grey.

**Chapter Preview:**_It doesn't matter how you're abused. Sexually abused, physically abused, verbally abused, it's all the freaking same in my eyes. I have to see that girl again. I can't just let her go. We might just be able to help each other! _

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

**xXxXxXx**

**::II::**

"**Cage"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

"Get out, I don't want you here anymore!" she gave her final yell and began to cry. I nodded my head and grabbed my white trench coat.

"Fine, that's the last thing you'll ever be saying to me..._mother..." _I glared at her and slammed the door behind me as I made my way out into the cold, rainy world. But the outside was better than being home with an abusive mother, always blaming me for her problems. Always taking my stupid dad's side. Always favoring my father over me.

I put my hands in my pocket and made my way into the night. Not really caring where I would go or end up going. Everything was so messed up. Everything in my life was messed up. There was nothing left for me to live for. I might as well die. Through the city's darkness, I felt a deep emptiness surge over me as I walked through an unknown park.

Then I heard people yelling and girls laughing. This late at night? Hm, must be those damn gangs at it again. Where I lived the, gangs were abundant, since I livind in the trashy part of this big city. Around the corner of an abandoned building, there was a gang trying to force a girl to do what they wanted her to do. I acted quickly, knowing exactly what it was like to be abused.

"Let her go..." I said in a loud yet calm voice. The gang quieted and all faced to me in the darkness of the trees. The guys trying to force themselves on the girl stopped and turned around.

"Who the hell are you?!" a tall, ugly dude, probably the leader of the gang, yelled at me. The two guys on the girl backed away, suddenly afraid of me.

"The name's Hatsuharu, and I suggest you leave her alone," I came out of my dark spot and glared. I looked at the girl laying on the wet ground, doing my best to show her in my eyes that she shouldn't be afraid.

"Oh, that's a name to be scared of! And what will you do if we don't let this whore girl go?!" the ugly, tall dude laughed.

"There just might be one less idiot in the world," I said, and without thinking, I punched the bastard in the big, fat nose, sending him to the hard, ground, where he belonged. The gang members looked shocked, and acted to their lame instincts and startedt o run at me. The girl watched as I blocked their moves. I used my skills I was taught when I was younger, I blocked their punches, I kicekd them and even flipped them to their sorry asses and backs.

The female gang members, (or should I say the gang member prostitutes?) all ran away screaming. Afraid they'd be next in line for my smack down. After I knew all the gang members were tired out or just plain lazy to fight me, I turned to the girl on the ground. They had ripped off her jacket and most of her top. She was shivering and soaking, underneath the rain, I could tell she was crying. Bruises covered her legs and her clothes were ripped and had holes in them.

Her long, dark hair was messed up and she looked to be in a lot of shock and pain.

"You okay?" I gently asked as I held out my hand. She barely nodded and looked at my hand.

"It's fine, I won't hurt you," I assured her giving a small smile. She slowly took my hand as I helped her up. I removed my white coat and put it around her.

"Th-thank you...Hatsuharu? Right? Why though?" she cautiously asked.

"You can call me Haru. And...why did I help you? Well...I guess because...I just can't stand to watch somebody being hurt like that. To be abused like that," I shrugged and crossed my arms. The girl sniffled.

"I...have to go...I don't want to be here," she stepped over all the unconcious gang members and walked away.

"Wait! Hold up!" I went after her. She turned around.

"Here, I don't need this," she took off my coat and held it out for me.

"No, it's raining and you need it more than me," I gently pushed it back to her.

"Eh, I don't need idiots feeling sorry for me, you're probably just like the rest. You want me to yourself, don't you? Well, I'm not some whore who has no pride and no dignity, so don't think you'll get anything out of me by being a big huge saviour. Leave me alone, I thank you for saving me but this is as far as we'll go," the girl glared at me and walked away. She threw my coat over my head.

It took me a second for what she said to sink in. She thought I wanted her because I thought she was a prostitute?! She had it all wrong!

"Hey! Wait up! No, that's not why I saved you. I just happened to come upon you and the gang forcing themselves upon you. You know, I could have just walked by instead of laying all them out just to save you. I could have joined them but instead I saved you beacuse I know what it's like to be abused! That's all. Would you rather have me watch and laugh as you were being raped?" I followed her down an empty street as the rain poured.

She turned to me and glared.

"Look, I'm tired, I'm sick of people getting on me like this, and right now, I'm sick of _you. _Get out of my face. I said I thank you for saving me, but this is as far as we'll go, now go away," she stomped off. I rolled my eyes, already seeing that she was gonna be a stubborn girl. I went after her once again.

"Hold up, can I at least know the name of the one I saved?" I held out my arms as we came into veiw of some orange street lights. Her eyes were a dark brown color, filled with sadness. She stopped and looked up at me.

"Earlier you said you know what it feels like to be abused. How is that? You know what it's like to be touched every night? You know what it's like to be hit for every little thing you do? I don't think so," with that, tears sprung from her eyes and she started to walk away. So she has been abused more than just that gang trying to rape her back there.

"Actually, I do know what it's like to be abused. Not exactly what you've been through, and I can't possibly imagine what you're abused life is like, but I've been abused in different ways. So, I at least know what it's like to go through life with a big hole in your heart. To not have anybody to turn to. To not have anybody to love you anymore..." I crossed my arms and looked down. She stopped and without looking back, she looked at the ground.

"Two negatives don't make a positive, _Mister_ Hatsuharu. Thanks once again for saving me from being raped. But this is as far as we'll go. I can't talk to a person who's been through abuse like I have. The only name I can leave you with, is Isuzu...I need to go now," she started to run. This time, I didn't go after her. I sighed and looked down. Two negatives don't make a positive. She means if her and I became friends, we'd both be in a cage together. But wouldn't that be better than being in a cage alone?

I don't know what she's been through, heck I don't even know her at all. All I know is her name. But somehow, she's been abused sexually and physically. By whom? I don't know. But it's probably best I never know that. I started to make my way down an empty alley, thinking about my crapped up past. The rain poured harder and lightning filled the sky. Thunder followed.

_**I'm growing impatient, drawing the blood of the masochist, I wait for you, the sadist  
If it's possible, with a poison kiss...  
Unable to see virtue in the meaning of my sorrow, in you the last mother,  
I bury the memory so that you can not notice first mother  
Even if the clock spins to the left, sins committed can't be changed,  
In the beginning I imprint the final sympathizer**_

I can remember back then...when my so called mother first came into my life. She wasn't really my mother. She was my adoptive mother, the mother that told me to get out earlier. My first mother...was killed in a car accident. My adoptive father gets all the attention. I never really knew my birth father, which is sad. _****_

Look at the me being unwilling, fiercely and then gently, a forced decision  
Which I can't say I've made to you

My adoptive mother grew tired of me. She would just watch as my adoptive father hit me, as he kicked my ribs night after night for the littlest mistake. I was only a little boy, so I couldn't really tell anybody, convinced that this was the life I was given. So I'd have to make the best of it. _****_

The sound of creaking leather hurts, the wounds go deep  
Deeply jealous will you always be this cold blooded?  
Even now I don't want to forget the abuse of my youth  
Why don't I have a mother? Tell me...

I cried often when I was younger. The abuse lightened up, but my adoptive mother always told me to forget my birth mother. I don't remember her much, but I heard she was beautiful and very nice. Now here I am, age sixteen, and running away constantly every night. I couldn't take it anymore. I sometimes think of running away forever. But where would that lead me? My adoptive mother must have been jealous of my birth mother._****_

Someday I'll notice the kindness  
In the "crib" that became my patron mother

Was there ever a time when my adoptive mother loved me at all? Even in it's smallest of measures? Why? Why hell is my life so fucked up?! Why do I have to be in this life? This body will eventually rot and I'll wither to death. Because of my stupid mother. Because she's jealous of my birth mother. Damn her...Damn my adoptive father. I wish I never knew them._****_

Before I couldn't see the reason for my bitterness, in my final mother  
So that at least you don't notice first mother  
Even if the clock spins to the left, sins committed can't be changed  
In the beginning the last sympathizer was destroyed  
I wonder if you are too gentle to me? Relfecting a trauma from long ago  
Am I who destroys to the last you a sadist? 

I wonder though...Why did she chose me? Was there ever a moment where my adoptive mother was gentle to me? Why did her and her stupid husband adopt me in the first place? Why? Did they do it because they wanted someone to bash around? Because they hated me when they first laid eyes on me? I don't know. Everything is just so confusing. Being abused isn't a life. Love isn't abuse.

Meeting that girl who said she's been touched and hit, Isuzu, she's the first I've meant who's been abused like I have. In a different way, but in my eyes, abuse is abuse. It doesn't matter how you're abused. Sexually abused, physically abused, verbally abused, it's all the fucking same in my eyes. I have to see that girl again. I can't just let her go. We might just be able to help each other! I have to find her now...I stopped in my foot steps and turned around. I had to find her again.

I began to blindly run after her, I don't know where my destination was, but I'd have to find her somehow.

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	3. Runaway

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**Now back into the sad life of Isuzu. This chapter will begin where she leaves Haru and runs into nothingness, and surprisingly, somebody finds her. Is it who you think it is? Maybe, maybe not. Enjoy chapter III.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", the ending song is "Change", both are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR. The insert song is "Distant Thunder" by Do As Infinity.

**Chapter Preview:**_I stood up and slammed the door open and punched the mirror. My knuckles began to bleed and as the mirror shattered, the shards fell to the ground. I picked one sharp shard up and started to cut... _

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

**xXxXxXx**

**::III::**

"**Runaway"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

I ran as far away as I could from that Hatsuharu guy. He saved me and I was grateful to him. But if I got any closer to him than that, then my whole world would crash down on me. My step father would probably hate me even more. Things would get worse if he ever found out I had to be saved by someone. I kept running and running. Trying to forget that Hatsuharu's eyes, his warm coat around my arms, his warm expression that burned into me. It calmed me.

But it was not use. I couldn't forget the way he risked his life for someone he just met. He was abused too, as he says. But how could I know he was telling the truth? How could I be sure he was sincere about saving me? I had assumed he just wanted me like those scum rapists did.

As I was running in the rain, I slipped on the wet cement and fell down. My knee started to bleed.

"Damn..." I whispered as I sat up straight and hugged my knees, starting to cry harder. There was nobody to care for me. Nobody cared for me. Ever...How could my mother just kill herself like that? How could my sister just leave me like that? Why was this _my _life? I'd rather be dead than be living this dumb life.

A dark voice in the back of my head began to speak to me.

_Remember when you were younger and your step father came along? Remember he used to lock you in your room and make you suffer in that hot weather from summertime? _

_Remember he used to come into your room at night and touch you. Remember if you refused he'd hit you. While your mother was at work and your sister was out with friends, remember he'd pull your hair and push you down just because you wanted to eat cereol after dinnertime?_

_Remember the way he pushed you down just because you didn't hear what he told you to do? The sound of your cries made him all the more rushed to hurt you._

The pain of remembering hurt me more than anything else probably could. I'd probably be better off falling off a building than living with him the rest of my life. I slowly stood up and sighed hard. I felt sleepy, yet sleep didn't intrest me, sleep wasn't appealing at my so called home. He'd always make me leave my door open, he said if I made a noise, he'd come in and do something to make me regret making noise.

Escaping that house was the only option in getting away.

_The only way. _

As I stood there in the middle of the street, I could see in the distance an oncoming car. Should this be the time for me to leave? To leave forever? To join my mom wherever she was, to get angry at her for leaving me? Yes...I was ready. I sat back down on the cold ground and waited for the car to hit me. The car to heaven. The car to my escape. It would hit me and soon I'd be free.

"Away from the pain..." I found myself saying out loud. The car's headlights shined in my eyes. I didn't even bother trying to shield them. I just sat as the car drew closer and closer. They started to honk the car's horn. But I didn't move at all. Two seconds before my freedom, my heaven was lost. Everything was lost the second I knew someone's body pounced on me and grabbing me out of the way of the car.

The car short stopped and a dark figure was on top of me, breathing hard. I opened my eyes.

"What the hell are you doing?! You could have gotten killed! I saved your life once before, that once before would have been for nothing if I hadn't had to save you TWICE!" the familiar voice yelled at me. I pushed him off. Yes, it was that Hatsuharu guy. Damn him for ruining my freedom! Ugh!

"What do you think you're _doing?! _I was two seconds away from heaven and you had to freaking SAVE me AGAIN! Ugh! Get off!" I quickly stood up and glared down at him. He slowly stood up in the darkness as a orange street light illuminated his face. He wiped away some excess water from his face and sighed hard.

"Dying is definently not the answer. I should know, I _tried_ it once. And are you stupid or something? Two seconds from heaven? That's the lamest thing I've heard ever. Being hit by cars don't lead to heaven. They either lead to a coma or an instant ticket to hell. And if you did survive the car crash, you could get paralyzed and live the rest of your life in regret," the guy had a point. But I refused to drop my pride and listen fully to him.

"Shut up, it's my life, I'll do whatever I want with it!" I yelled at him and started to walk away.

"Hold on a minute, you can't just walk away like that!" Hatsuharu yelled after me. Then a different voice filled my ears. An all too horribly familiar voice that is.

"Isuzu! Stop it right there! You are in a deep hole of trouble, you damn bitch!" I turned around, to see _him _come out of my mother's old car. Yes, I think everybody would be able to guess who the _he _is by now. My heart dropped, just thinking about being hit by my late mother's old car, with my damn step dad driving it. That'd be a HUGE kick in my dignity, so it probably _was_ a good thing Hatsuharu saved me!

"Who's that?" Hatsuharu asked looking at me with a weird look.

"Damn it, he was looking for me this whole time?" I felt like running, but my legs wouldn't move. I was in too much of a shock that my step dad was looking for me. This meant big trouble for me. More bruises.

"Isuzu, who the hell is that guy?" Hatsuharu asked.

"Get in the damn car, Isuzu!" my step dad yelled pointing at me.

"Hey, who do you think you are telling her what to do?" Hatsuharu yelled at him. I tugged on his arm.

"No, Haru, don't! You'll only make things worse," I whispered to him. "Get out of here now, you'll only make things worse," I pushed him away.

"But, Isuzu? Who the hell is that?" Haru glared at my step dad as he got closer.

"I'm her father, now get outta here you stupid gang member!" he yelled at Haru.

"Gang member? Hey, I'm no gang member!" Haru held out his fist.

"Just get away from me!" I yelled at Haru. My step dad grabbed my arm really hard, paralyzing my soul. Was this it for me? Was this just me on this never ending carousel? Over and over, would I just be hit like this?! Damn...There had to be another way. Something gave me courage though. I jerked my arm away before he could shove me into the car.

"I'm not doing this anymore, damn you!" I pushed him as hard as I could and ran down the wet street.

"Isuzu! Get back here! UGH!" I heard him yell at me. This was it, this was my only time to escape somewhere where he'd never find me again. I wouldn't dare look back. I ran and ran. Tears fell like the rain. But where was I to run? I didn't know. What I did know was, I'd never return to this horrid city again. Never again...

Never again...

I ran and ran, for almost ten minutes without stopping. I came upon an unknown park. I sat down on the wet grass to rest under a big cherry blossom tree. The tree was withering. Withering to death...Just like I was now...

I hugged my knees and started to cry. What was left for me? Was there anything left for me? I closed my eyes and started to drift into a deep sleep. I dreamt of the past. Before my step dad came into my life. It was just me, my sister Kagura, and my mother. I remember that day very clearly now...Very clearly now, I dreamt of the happier days of my younger life.

_**Under the thick clouds**_

_**I was with my mother that day  
With her umbrella up, she held my hand**_

_**As we walked down the summer path**_

I remember that day when we decided to take a walk along the park's edges. Kagura was left behind because she was trying to catch fire flies. Kagura was thirteen and I was ten. My mother was having a talk with me, strangely it somehow foreshadowed her death. I realize that now for some reason. I was only ten back then, so I didn't get what she was trying to tell me.

_**Her voice nearly drowned out by the chirpping crickets**_

_**Over adn over she said**_

_**"Everyone goes through life alone**_

_**Not turning back"**_

"Isuzu dear, you know one day, I'll meet new daddy for you and your sister. But...If it makes Mommy unhappy, then you and Kagura might not have me to talk to anymore.

"What do you mean Mommy?" I had asked confusingly.

"I mean...Everyone will go through their lives living alone. Never to turn back again. So I want to tell you something that I've never told anybody, Isuzu. You're young, but I hope someday, you'll understand," my mother sighed hard.

_**Too young, I surely **_

_**Heard things I couldn't answer**_

_**Before I knew it, I was sleeping**_

_**At your back, not crying at all**_

"When the time comes, I won't be with you anymore, as in you must move on," I felt as if my mother was trying to tell me that when I get older, I would have to leave. But...the coming storm on that day, foreshadowed the truth. It was the other way around.

_**A presentiment of the coming evening shower**_

_**The echo of distant thunder**_

_**Almost as if to forecast**_

_**How we would since that time**_

I didn't know it then, but she was trying to tell me that someday, she would leave this world. She must have had it all planned out. She must have been depressed for some sort of reason.

_**As I approach you as you were that day**_

_**I finally understand**_

_**Why you suddenly squatted down**_

_**And shed those final tears**_

My mother began to cry. Of course I didn't know it then, but...She was crying because she knew. She knew that leaving would hurt us. But she was selfish. She was a selfish mother who knew of her own fate. She would take her own life, regardless of her happiness.

"Mommy, why are you crying?" I had asked.

"Oh...I'm not crying, Isuzu...I'm happy...Happy that I had you and Kagura," she embraced me. That was the last time I ever saw her crying.

_**Your feelings **_

_**The smell of that summer...**_

Seven years later, she killed herself. Without a word to anybody of. Without a suicide note. She left nothing. I opened my eyes and back into reality again. The rain had lightened up. I had no idea how long I was sleeping there under that cherry blossom tree. But from the looks of the upcoming sun, I was asleep for a while.

I slowly stood up and looked around, making sure my step dad was nowhere in sight. Where was I to go now? Maybe this could be the last day I went to school. It was probably around five in the morning, so in two hours, I'd walk the halls one last time. Not that there were any good memories in that dumb school. But it'd be better than walking around town all day.

I finally made my way to the high school and surprisingly, the back doors were open. I was soaking wet and freezing. I went into the girl's locker room and opened some lockers to find some dry clothes. I found a black T-shirt and a black hoodie. Then I found some dark blue jeans. These would have to do for now.

I undressed and threw my clothes away and then took a shower. Once I was done, I quickly got dressed and brushed my hair. I sighed hard and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked more fresh, but my heart still ached. What would I do after school? Grab what I needed at the store then run away somewhere?

The bell rang at seven thirty, so I went to my first hour class. My dreadful math class, where I would have to see my ex-best friends, Keiko and Chai. I prayed they wouldn't be here today, but what were the chances of them both being gone on the same day?

I took a seat in the back of the classroom and that nervous feeling inside began to rise. My professor walked in and smiled at me.

"Good morning, Isuzu, you've been gone for a little while. Good to have you back. Now, come in after school so you can make up that math test, kay?" she smiled and plopped down at her desk.

Two minutes later, Chai and Keiko walked in, laughing. But once they spotted me, Chai glared and Keiko gave me a dirty look, like I was a mangy mutt or something.

"Ew, look who decided to show up for class for once," Chai said loud enough for me to hear. I sunk into my seat, wanting to hit her for her stupidity. Her lowness. Her ugly heart. No, I take that back, she has no heart. Through the class, Chai and Keiko kept whispering about me and laughing towards my desk. They even kept throwing notes at me when the professor wasn't looking.

When there were about seven notes, on the floor by me, I picked all them up and threw them away. And I asked to use the restroom. Keiko started giggling at me. I sighed and felt the tears coming. Why do I have to be so sensitive. I opened the first stall and saw all over the wall.

_Isuzu is a whore WHO SHOULD DIE!!!!_

_Isuzu did twenty guys, including our male teachers!!!!!!!!_

_Whoever reads dis, do not talk to Isuzu, she'll hit on you no matter your gender!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

And there were much much more than just these three. I punched the wall and felt a surge of anger rush through my body. I wanted to hurt Chai and Keiko so much. I wanted them to know how much I was suffering by making them suffer. But there was no way that was going to happen.

No way in hell...

I leaned against the wall and slid to the ground. This was the final straw. This was the last time I'd take this crap from them. I stood up and slammed the stall door open and punched the mirror. My knuckles began to bleed and as the mirror shattered, the shards fell to the ground. I picked one sharp shard up and started to cut my arms up. Left and right, I cried and cut and cut. Blood covered the floor. I screamed and ran out of the bathroom.

I ran down the stairs and outside. I screamed and the thunder roared.

"Why?!?! WHY?!?! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME?!?!?!?!?!!!!!?!?!"

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	4. Revenge

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**What will become of Haru now that the one he wanted so much to talk to about abuse has ran away from him? Will he be able to find her again? Or will he just forget about her if he can't get over his past and wanting to gain revenge on his parents? Find out and enjoy chapter IV.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", the ending song is "Change", both are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR. The insert song is "The Rotton Sea" by Dir en grey.

**Chapter Preview:**_I can't remember the last time I was ever happy. The last time I was ever happy anywhere. I was always swimming in this rotton sea of mine. This life was full of hate and darkness. I wanted it all to end. To all end...They all need to die..._

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

**xXxXxXx**

**::IV::**

"**Revenge"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

I started to blindly run to look for that Isuzu girl. Wherever she might be. Somehow, there was a connection between us. I needed to know her. Something inside of me kept telling me that she was the one who would change me. I can't explain what that was inside of me, but I knew, just knew it was the truth. The truth that would save me from my past. But first I had to find her and tell her everything in my life. Maybe we could connect if she would just reach out for me.

We could probably relate more than she thought we would. I mean, yeah she probably thought I was some kind of gang psycho the way I beat up those gang members just to save her. And yet, regardless of what she might think, I might just be able to get through to her. I had to find a way. I had to find her. Suddenly, I came upon a shadowy figure standing there in the middle of the street. The figure was just sitting there. I stopped in my wet tracks and watched to see what he or she was doing.

"What the hell?" I said to myself, squinting at the shady person. Then headlights appeared in the near distance of the street that person was in the middle of.

"Damn it...Are they trying to kill themselves?" I asked myself. I remembered when I wanted to commit suicide a year ago. That was stupid of me. I was in my high school with people taunting me about my silver and black hair. To make it worse, my so called "mother" that locked me away in this mind cage had yelled at me that morning. I walked to the top of the football bleachers during my lunch break that day.

I wanted to die so badly. To just leave this damn and fucked up world. I wanted to be gone forever so that my stupid adoptive mom wouldn't be able to hit me or yell at me anymore. So I jumped off the bleachers, hoping I would plumet to my death. But I didn't die...I just broke my damn leg and cried like a big baby that day.

I was taken into the emergency room and my mother gave me more bruises that day because of the expensive hospital bill. So I realized something the day of my suicide attempt. I realized how stupid I was to have tried leaving this world. That was stupid. I realized that if I did die, my mom would be happy and that'd be a big kick in my pride and self respect. And that'd show my tormentors that they won their damn battle.

So I vowed from that day on to never try to attempt suicide again. It was stupid. Really stupid. Selfish too. So as that oncoming car came closer to that figure, I had to act fast. Seconds before the car hit that person, I tackled her. As I did, the lights illuminated her profile. It was that Isuzu girl I saved! She was trying to leave this world! The car honked and stopped short. I slowly sat up and was on top of Isuzu. I was breathing really hard as she opened her dark eyes.

**"**What the hell are you doing?! You could have gotten killed! I saved your life once before, that once before would have been for nothing if I hadn't had to save you TWICE!" I yelled at herShe roughly pushed me off and glared at me.

"What do you think you're _doing?! _I was two seconds away from heaven and you had to freaking SAVE me AGAIN! Ugh! Get off!" She said standing up. I stood up too and wiped my face off. I thought for a second about what to say. Was she being stupid like I was a year ago or something? Then I figured out what to say to her from my attempt at suicide experience.

"Dying is definently not the answer. I should know, I _tried_ it once. And are you stupid or something? Two seconds from heaven? That's the lamest thing I've heard ever. Being hit by cars don't lead to heaven. They either lead to a coma or an instant ticket to hell. And if you did survive the car crash, you could get paralyzed and live the rest of your life in regret," I was actually surprised at the smartness of what I had just said.

"Shut up, it's my life, I'll do whatever I want with it!" Her yelling took me aback. She started walking away. I decided to try and stop her.

"Hold on a minute, you can't just walk away like that!"I held out my hand and was about to chase after her, but then a man's deep voice inturrupted me.

"Isuzu! Stop it right there! You are in a deep hole of trouble, you damn bitch!" Isuzu turned to the voice and so did I. He was a tall man with dark hair and darkish skin.

"Who's that?" I asked Isuzu. She obviously knew this guy. Could this be her father? But she didn't look anything like him.

"Damn it, he was looking for me this whole time?"Isuzu asked out loud, possibly to herself. She looked scared though for some reason. This guy...Could he be the one who abused Isuzu? But, he was her father, right? Or am I only assuming?

"Isuzu, who the hell is that guy?"I wanted to know and I wanted to know now.

"Get in the damn car, Isuzu!"the man said from the car after a short pause. I really fucking wanted to kill this guy for yelling at a female. I mean, who the hell does he think he is?! No respect I'm guessing.

"Hey, who do you think you are telling her what to do?"I yelled at him. But Isuzu came over to me and tugged at my arm. I looked at her with one eyebrow up.

"No, Haru, don't! You'll only make things worse. Get out of here now, you'll only make things worse," she whispered to me as she repeated herself. I'll only make things worse eh? I could probably save Isuzu. Did she just call me Haru? But then she pushed me away.

"But, Isuzu? Who the hell is that?" I angrily asked once more. That man started walking towards us with a killer look in his eyes.

"I'm her father, now get outta here you stupid gang member!" the man yelled at me. So I was right, that man was her father? But how could he be like this to her? Calling her a damn bitch and yelling at her to get into the ugly, beat up car. I was offended that he had called me a gang member!

"Gang member? Hey, I'm no gang member!" I held out my fist, to send him the message that I wanted to punch him.

"Just get away from me!" Isuzu surprised me with her yelling. Her so called father grabbed her arm and started to drag her away to the car. Damn, what should I do now? Should I fight him for her again? Should I save her again? Before I could act, and before he could shove her into the back seat of the car, she pulled her arm away from him.

"I'm not doing this anymore, damn you!"she ended up pushing him, looking tough and then running away.

"Isuzu! Get back here! UGH!" her "father" yelled at her as she ran. I watched her run and run, probably as fast as she could. I couldn't go after her though. Something inside of me paralyzed me for some reason. What did her father do to her that was so bad that she had to run from him? He could have abused her in ways I'll never know, but that was only assuming. Or he could have been really mad that she was out so late.

Her father looked me in the eye after he punched the car and cursed away.

"Damn it, she ran off again!" he slowly walked over to me. "You there, is she your main ho or something?" he rudely asked.

"Who the hell do you think you are? Calling a woman a ho like that? Didn't you just say you were her father?" I backed off.

"Don't speak so higly to me, boy. You damn gang member. Answer my question. Is she your main ho right now?!" he demanded.

"From what I can tell, you're a bastard with no respect for others. No compassion either. Don't you know that she's probably sick of you treating her like this? I may not know the whole story, but from the words her and I exchanged earlier, she's deeply hurt. Physically and emotionally. There are bruises all over her legs and arms. Her soul seems broken. So you tell me this, freak. Why should she go back home to you, you who hurts her verbally from what I heard seconds ago," I gave him a deep glare, yet something inside me started to rage.

What was this inside of me? I felt evil and dark, wanting to kill this man. Damn him. Damn him to hell. Damn his ass to fucking hell!!!!!!!

"You damn gang member, who said you can talk to me like this?!" he yelled. That triggered my deepest emotions. My inner devil.

"You want to know who told me to talk like this?" I said, hoping to distract him.

"Who boy?!" he laughed an ugly laugh.

"Me..." my answer confused him, allowing my plan to work. I ran as fast as I could at him, and without knowing it, I grabbed his throat and felt a rage in my heart. He started to choke a little.

"Ughhhh, ughhh...You...damn...brat...get...your...scummy hands...off of me...ugh..." he started to struggle. But I wouldn't let go. For some reason, I couldn't let go. I was so angry, I _couldn't _let go.

"You stupid fuck, you think you can push your own daughter around like that? Damn you...I can see right through you right this very second. You're suppose to be a man, and men aren't suppose to abuse women. Tell me something, are you truly her father or are you a pretender? As in her adoptive father? Because I don't think real fathers would do this," I heard my own voice. It was dark and deeper than usual. Yet this rage inside of me wouldn't go away.

I felt the need to kill...

The need to kill Isuzu's damn father...He was struggling for air. I wouldn't give it to him unless he told the truth, because for some reason, I felt he wasn't Isuzu's real father.

"Ughhh...okay, okay...just let me go...ughhhh, and I'll...tell you...everything...let me go..." his ugly face started to turn purple. I felt I had him now, so I let go. He fell to his knees and gasped. I glared down at him.

"Now, speak to me...What the hell do you do to Isuzu, your own daughter, as you say she is. Tell me the truth. Are you her real father?" something deep inside of me kept telling me he wasn't her father. I felt as if I had to avenge Isuzu for some reason. But the man refused to tell me, now that he wasn't choking anymore. He quickly stood up and stared to blindly throw punches at me. I blocked every punch and acted fast by grabbing his hand and pushing him against the car.

I put his hand into a painful wrist lock. He yelped in pain. I squeezed his wrist, hearing it crack.

"Okay, okay, okay! I'm not her real father, I'm her step father! Though I don't know why you'd want to know that! Yes, I do hurt her, but it's only occasional hits when she doesn't behave!" he yelled out like a sorry dog. I slowly twisted his wrist, completely breaking it.

"Even if they are occasional hits, she still doesn't deserve that pain, you damn bastard. Seems parents these days are scum. Big, fat scum that should be clensed from this earth. You are one of those pieces of scum. Now, tell me one last thing, what did she do to deserve those bruises?" I felt the rage in my heart deepen.

"She was born..." he laughed out loud, regardless of his now broken wrist.

Memories from my past swarmed my mind. The rain fell harder and harder as the street lights went out. My stupid adoptive mother who used to hit me and had my adoptive father hit me too. Damn them...They all need to die...

_"You're real mother was a stupid whore, it's a good thing she got into a car accident, right Hatsuharu?" _My adoptive father used to always laugh at me and show me pictures of my mother and then he'd burn them right in front of me.

_"Look at you...Go wash the dishes or something, you're usless," _My adoptive mother's voice echoed in my mind.

_"You're so dirty, I don't even know why we adopted you. Maybe we just felt sorry for you," _Both my adoptive parents would make fun of me when they were drunk on holidays. I'd cry and cry. They need to die.

_"You're so stupid, Hatsuharu! Why were you even born?!" _They'd laugh and laugh at me endlessly. Forever, they'd laugh.

They all need to die...

They all need to die...

THEY ALL NEED TO DIE!!!!

"YOU ALL NEED TO DIE!!!!!!" I found myself yelling as loud as I could to Isuzu's step father. With my full strength, I grabbed his other arm and twisted it as hard as I could. To my pleasure, I heard his arm snap. Then I punched him. He fell to the ground.

"She was born, you hate her for that, but it's not her fault you're such a damn, fucking bastard who should just die. You NEED TO DIE like MY DAMN PARENTS NEED TO...So, if you were to die this very second, would you rather laugh or apologize to Isuzu?" I kicked his broken arm.

"Damn you, you're just a kid! You don't even know what a pain Isuzu can be! Why would I even apologize to her anyway?! I'd rather laugh the second I die! Ha!" his ugly laughter filled my ears.

"If that's the way you want it, damn scum..." I didn't feel like myself anymore. I felt gone and couldn't control it. I walked closer to him and leaned beside him, then took my hands and slowly grabbed his neck again.

"Start laughing..." I whispered in his ear as I snapped his neck. But he didn't laugh. He stopped moving. His expression fell limp and his breathing instantly stopped. He was soaked as was I. I slowly stood up and stared down at him. He was dead...Dead...

Dead...

_DEAD..._

I kicked his body and he rolled over. I slowly started to walk away, hands in pocket, as if nothing happened...

As if nothing happened...

**xXxXxXx**

As dawn approached, I came upon my own house. I was walking all night, feeling that rage inside of me rise more and more. My past wanted to drag me down. It's as if I had another me inside my mind. Inside my heart. I was being drowned out by another me. A darker me that wanted to clense this world of all the abusive people.

I was right in front of my house, staring at the little front porch. The chipped, blue pain that covered the tiny house. I glared at the right, broken window that was plastered in plastic. I remembered why that window was broken in the first place. My father came home drunk and my mother was high. I was only twelve as I innocently stood there, staring out the window at the falling snow.

My father told me to shovel the snow because he threw up out there. I said now...And he rammed my head into the window and threw me out. I only bled a little, but my tears were abundant that night. They took away my allowence that night to pay for the plastic to fix the window.

I glared at that window now as I stood there in the lightly falling rain. I breathed in the morning air as the sun approached. I walked to the porch and slowly walked up each step. I grabbed the door knob and turned, hearing each and every click from the door. I heard the door creak as I pushed it open. I recalled the memories in this house. The horrid house that I lived in. Day by day, I would be yelled at. It was as if I was in hell. No, more of a rotton sea.

_**Bobbing up and down on the swelling rotten sea**_

_**The swelling rotten sea heaves emptilly...**_

_**See how the heart is thrown into dismay by the swelling rotten love**_

_**The swelling rotten love only makes the pain worse**_

My adoptive mother sometimes says she loves me, those are rare times. But I know that her love is a rotton love that only worsens my pain. She can never fill that place in my heart that my real mother filled. Why did she have to die in that car accident? Why did she just leave me like that? Why do I live in a life such as this one?

_**The deep deep deep wounds cry cry cried **_

_**The flower that blooms blooms bloomed all over in winter**_

_**Covering all in bloodred**_

I can't remember the last time I was ever happy. The last time I was ever happy anywhere. I was always swimming in this rotton sea of mine. This life was full of hate and darkness. I wanted it all to end. To all end...They all need to die...

"They all need to die..." I darkly whispered as I walked into the house.

_**I want to plunge the blade of weakness, **_

_**Born from this torn away heart and the reason behind my tears,**_

_**Into my heart and slay this moment with it**_

_**Living without you destroys all the meaning in life,**_

_**The letter I started to write was stopped by my tears **_

_**I want to sink into the rotten sea**_

When I was fourteen, I used to write letters to my mother, hiding them in my drawer, wishing at night that she'd somehow read them from wherever she was. One night when I was sleeping in my tiny room, my adoptive mother came in and rumaged through my drawers. She found the letters and read them all. She woke me up and showed me the letters and brought her damn husband in the room to show him. He yelled at me.

"Don't you love your mother now?! Forget about your damn birth mother, she's dead, you hear?! DEAD! She's never coming back. So why the hell would you write letters to her like this? It's not like she's ever going to read them! You must be ashamed of your family now. Do you know how expensive you are?! Having to pay for your lunch bills at school, your damn clothes, your damn everything! You worthless pest!" he hit me across the face as he burned the letters with his lighter that night.

_**Hold me once for every time I cried, unable to find an answer**_

_**Hung my head to hide the tears, at least from you...**_

I still wrote letters to my late mother, yet I kept them at school in my locker. Everytime I wrote a letter to her, I'd tell her about my horrid life. My sad life. I told her that when I die, I want to meet her. I want her to make up for all the times I cried in my room. I wanted her to hold me and sing me to sleep. I was fourteen, but that's what I still want to this day.

_**I want to plunge the blade of weakness, **_

_**Born from this torn away heart and the reason behind my tears,**_

_**Into my heart and slay this moment with it**_

_**Everything you tainted, **_

_**My body knows I'll never have this love again**_

_**I want to sink it into the rotten sea**_

_**Sink into the freezing cold rotten sea, **_

_**Longing for you beyond my reach, searching for the voice, the love**_

I want to find my mother in this rotton sea. This rotton life of mine. But I know that she'll never come back. She'll never see me growing up. She'll never see the tears I've shed. She'll never see how much I've been suffering. She'll never see me...Even if I did take my own life, I woudn't see her, because my life is too fucked up for me to go to wherever she is now. I'd go to hell.

Because they all...Need...

"To die..." I whispered. I walked into the small kitchen and grabbed the biggest knife in the drawer by the sink I walked into my adoptive parent's room. Knife in hand...

"I want to plunge the blade of weakness, born from this torn away heart...Into their hearts...You need to die..."

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	5. What For?

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**Leaving off from when Isuzu started cutting, this is where her journey begins. I want it to reflect on how she wants to live her life from now on, but what will her journey become as the story progresses? Find out later! Enjoy chapter V.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", the insert song is "What For..." and the ending song is "Change", all three are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR.

**Chapter Preview:**_I was in shock...My heart fell and my stomach was instantly tied into millions of knots. Did I hear her right? My step father was found..._

_**dead?**_

_As in dead __**DEAD?**_

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

**xXxXxXx**

**::V::**

"**What For?"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

"Why did you have to leave me, mom? Why did you have to leave me, Kagura? Both of you...Why did you leave me behind? My life is so messed up. Where am I suppose go go? What am I suppose to do? Why is this life mine? Why must I live this life day after day? I can't take it anymore...I want to leave...But..." I knelt to the wet ground as the blood poured from my cut up arms. My vision started to blur as I was getting soaked.

I was losing so much blood. Is this how my life was suppose to end? Laying in front of my high school, cut up arms and all? What would my ex-best friends think? Would they cry? Would they laugh? Would they feel guilty at the least? Or would they even care at all? They're all too stupid to care about anything but themselves. Looking at themselves in the mirror all day, thinking about nothing but tormenting me. Would my death take away their fun?

My body started to weaken. I layed myself on the ground as I got soaked. I closed my eyes. For some reason, I started to feel warm. So, this was the end, was it? I was to lay on the ground here, to die here. Now, I can finally rest. Rest away from this school. Rest away from my step father. Rest away from having to run away. Guess my runaway plans were cancelled, huh? I smiled and sighed with relief. My mind faded away. My breathing was easing.

Good memories of my mother and Kagura came to my fading mind. Yes, I would want to die thinking of the good times of my life. The good times...

But as my mind faded away, I kept hearing voices. Many different voices surrounding me. Was this heaven? Was this the paradise I would soon be entering? But the voices were talking so strangely. Too strangely for any kind of paradise.

_"Will she be okay?"_

_"I'm not sure, but we have to get her an ambulance right away!"_

_"I wonder why she would cut up her arms like this. What could have caused her to do this to herself?"_

_"Who are her parents?"_

_"Call an ambulance, she doesn't have much time left!"_

The voices were so random. They all sounded like adults. Right, like anybody my age would care about me. I felt numb. So this definently wasn't a paradise from what I heard just now. The voices, I was about to die and yet, these people around me wouldn't let me. Why? Why would they care for me? It felt like an eternity before I was fully awake again. Was I in a paradise again?

"Honey? Are you awake yet?" a woman's voice asked. I slowly opened my eyes, everything felt heavy and I ached all over. I felt like I hadn't eaten in days.

"Wh--where am I?" I weakly asked. My eyes showed me that I was in a hospital. A nurse was standing by the cot I was laying on.

"Oh my, honey, you don't recall, do you? You had a fit with the paramedics that tried to get you here. Then they had to sedate you so you'd calm down. You've been sleeping for three days," the nurse gave a small smile. What was she saying? What was going on? Three days in the hospital?! That couldn't be right! What if my step father finds out?! I quickly sat up.

"Ma'am, I have to go, I have to go to school and then I have to--" she cut me off.

"No, not dear, you're in no condition to go to school. Just look at your arms. You're still not fully healed yet and...There's a counselor that wants to speak with you," the nurse's expression quickly changed from perky to sad. I looked at my arms. They were covered in bandages and I could see the blood seeping through. Did I really cut myself that much?

I looked at the nurse with a questioning look. What did she mean by a counselor wanted to speak with me? About what? I didn't need a damn counselor.

"Um, why do I need to talk to a counselor?" I asked.

"Well, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but...When the paramedics found you at your high school, the teachers told them to call your step father. And they couldn't find him, so then your school was informed a day later that your step father was found in a street...Dead...His neck was snapped, instantly killing him. It could have been an accident, but the car he was under showed no sign of being in an accident. He was most likely murdered..." the nurse sighed and gave me a look of sympathy.

I was in shock...My heart fell and my stomach was instantly tied into millions of knots. Did I hear her right? My step father was found...

_dead?_

_As in dead DEAD?_

That couldn't be right. There was no way. I mean, who'd kill him? What psycho would kill him? I mean, yeah, my damn step father deserved to die, but who'd do such a thing, and with no reason at all to do it? I squeezed the sheets covering me, unable to believe what I was just informed. This was so unbelievable. Why would this happen? Why? How? And who? Who could have done this? Did my step father owe someone money that they'd murder him?

"Honey, do you need the counselor now?" she asked, setting her arm on my shoulder. I shook my head as I stared at my bandaged up arms. The memories came rushing back. My ex-best friends, Chai and Keiko. They were partially the reason I cut my arms up three days ago. But mostly, it was because of my step father's abuse and my mother leaving me. Half of me was shocked that my step father was actually dead. But the other half...Was...

_Relieved..._

Now that he was dead. Did this mean that I was free? Would I now be able to not live in fear any longer? I looked at the nurse and gave a small smile.

"I'm fine, I was just surprised that...That someone would kill someone I knew. It's not like I'm sad or anything. Just...Relieved to hear the truth now," I felt the tears rushing to my eyes. I quickly wiped them away and slowly laid back down. The nurse nodded and slowly walked away without a word.

Then it hit me. I might be free, but then again, where would I go? I had no family left. Would they make me stay in a dumb foster home or a stupid orphenage? It's not like I was eight years old or anything. I'm seventeen, so they should be able to somehow let me live alone in my house now. Everything was happening so fast. What was I to do now?

Slowly, I drifted into a deep sleep. When I awoke, it was dark out and my bandages were new ones. I felt so weak. How long was I asleep this time? I slowly sat up and looked out the big window to my right. The city lights were bright and very beautiful. That Hatsuharu guy came to mind for some reason. Why did he save me two times? Why would he save me at all? I wouldn't save me actually, if I saw someone as trashy looking as me.

I shook my head away from the thought of that Hatsuharu guy. It's not like I'd ever see him again. And how do I know he was telling the truth about being abused. He was probably just saying that so I'd feel sorry for the loser. Why was I even thinking of that thug anyway? Shouldn't I be thinking about my step father's death? Shouldn't I at least feel a _little_ sorry for him at the least?

What was I thinking? I was free for crying out loud! Finally free! Free from his abuse. Free from his hate toward me. Free from his glares at me and free from his sickening mind. Free from his forceful nature. So if somebody asked me if I'd ever go back to that life, I'd say "What for? That life sucked!" then I'd laugh at them for even asking me that question. From now on, my life would be smooth. I'd get a job and if I saved up enough money, I'd move away. Far away and possibly start my senior year elsewhere.

Yeah, yeah! New friends, new possiblities and best of all a new life. Everything would go up hill from here. No more pain. No more misery. Nothing but happiness. Just then, a man and a woman came in with that nurse from earlier. I looked over at them.

"Oh, good. You're awake. This is Isuzu, Isuzu, this is Naoko Yukimura and her husband Fujimoto Yukimura. They will be your foster parents for now, until we can find a permenant home for you," the nurse and the couple bowed. Damn it. There goes my dream of things going up hill from now on.

"Foster home? But I can live on my own, can't I?" I asked.

"Isuzu, you're only seventeen years old. You still need to go to school and who would pay for you school tuition? I know it's hard to except, but your father just died. Please understand that this is the law's decision. You're still a minor," the nurse nodded at me after explaining. I squeezed the sheets.

"He wasn't my father," I angrily whispered, but nobody heard me. I let my bangs cover my face.

"Your new foster parents are glad to have you now. They'll pick you up first thing tomorrow. Right now it's late, so get some sleep," the nurse and the Yukimura people bowed once again and left. I felt the tears coming. Damn it. There had to be some way out of this whole situation.

The next morning the nurse came in with the Yukimura couple. They had a gift basket for me and a lame stuffed bear. The Fujimoto guy patted me on the head like I was a six year old and gave me the bear. That Naoko lady gave me the gift basket and hugged me.

"My, my, you're so beautiful, Isuzu. Such long hair, such dark and pretty eyes. Let's take you home now, shall we?" Naoko smiled. Yet there was something strange about her smile. It seemed a little, I don't know..._Phony..._

"Here are some clean clothes and we'll show you your new room when we get home," Fujimoto handed me a pair of dark blue jeans and a black T-shirt.

"Thanks," I boredly said and took them.

"You are now officially free from this hospital. I really hope you have fun at your new home," the nurse bowed. I slowly got out of the bed as the nurse handed me some pain medication. I nodded and went into the bathroom to change. As I changed, I felt a strangness inside of me. Was this really it for me? If they were good people, that Naoko and Fujimoto, then I could at least stay with them for a while. But I still wanted to run away.

I still wanted someway out. I didn't want to stay with strangers. Then a thought struck me. Maybe if I did run away, I'd be able to find my sister Kagura somewhere. She had to be out there somewhere. I felt her somehow.

When I was done dressing, I came out of the bathroom and grabbed the dumb gift basket and stuffed bear. The two led me out and into a shiny grey car. I got in the backseat.

"Isuzu, we live right next to your high school, isn't that convinient?" Naoko smiled that creepy smile again. I gave a small smile and nodded without a word. As her husband drove, I saw him in the rearview mirror. He kept looking at me through it. Damn, what if these people were creeps like my step father was?

We pulled into their house. It was a medium sized blue house with a garage. Nothing out of the ordinary. Too ordinary if you ask me. Kind of like a creepy killer family actually. When we got in, they showed me my new room. It was smaller than my room at home. It had ugly yellow wallpaper and a yellow and white bed, with a nightstand. There was one window and a dresser with an alarm clock.

"Here's your new room, Isuzu. I hope it's okay, we cleaned it out just for you. Now, lunch will be ready around twelve noon, so you can take a shower if you'd like," Naoko told me. I nodded.

"The shower is upstairs to the left," Fujimoto pointed up the small staircase. I decided to take a shower. But that was easier said than done, considering I had bandages all over my arms. They hurt so badly. The blood was seeping through again.

"Damn," I hissed as I gently removed the bandages. After that, I found some new bandages under the sink and wrapped them around my open cuts. I hadn't realized how much I cut up my arms. I guess I was so angry and hurt that I cut and cut and cut without knowing how many cuts I carved. I sighed and put back on the black T-shirt and jeans.

I made my way downstairs and into my new room. I plopped down on my bed and closed my eyes. Taking a nap didn't sound too bad now. So I took a nap. Yet when I woke up, it was dark. I must have a habit of sleeping through the day or something. My stomach started to growl. The hospital food sucked so it didn't fill me much.

I sat up and looked out the window. I wondered what day it was. I lost track of the days. It was probably a weekend, considering they didn't make me go to school after I came here from the hospital. Then I heard someone come in.

"You're awake, Isuzu. Nice to see you're awake," it was that Fujimoto's voice. 

"Um, hi...Sorry if I slept all day. I was only going to take a small nap, so--" he cut me off.

"It's fine, sweetie. Your new mother is at her nightshift work now. Everything will be all right. I just came in to talk to you for a while about your life. So your father died, that's too bad," he came and sat down on the bed. I slightly scooted over.

"Yeah, that is too bad. And he wasn't my father, he was my step father," I glared at him and cautiously scooted over more.

"Why do you scoot over, my Isuzu? I'm your new daddy, and a daddy would never hurt his new daughter," I could see his teeth from the shining street light outside. He slowly set his hand on my breast. I shot up and backed away.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I demanded.

"Oops, I'm sorry sweetheart. I meant to pat your shoulder," he grinned. Damn it, he was like my step dad. I knew there was something odd about him, since he kept looking at me through the rearview mirror.

I looked at the open door. A horrible memory flashed through my mind. I had to get out of there, I had to. This was like that time when I first ran off from my step dad. He was trying to rape me. And this Fujimoto guy was no fucking different. I slowly backed off somemore and looked at my dresser.

"Come on now Isuzu, give your new daddy a hug goodnight," his voice had a creepiness in it.

"Don't you are come near me. I know your type," I glared at him.

"Oh, it's okay, you've suffered too much. I would never hurt you. After all, you're my new daughter," he stood up from the bed and came towards me with open arms.

"I'm warning you, stay away," I backed off and slowly ran into the dresser. He came closer.

"I wouldn't hurt you," he smiled bigger than before.

"I'd hurt you though!" I yelled and quickly grabbed the alarm clock and flinged it at his head. He fell to the side and I ran out the door. It was Deja Vu all over again. I ran but wasn't familiar with the house so I blindly ran up the stairs. Damn it. I looked to my right and then my left. Windows, I needed to find a window to jump out of. 

"You bitch! Get back here!" I heard his voice distantly cry out. I ran into a bedroom and shut and locked the door. There was a window so I acted fast yet it wouldn't open! I heard his foot steps.

"Come out, come out wherever you are, _sweetie._" he laughed. I looked at the nightstand and grabbed the clock and broke the window open. Luckily, there was a tree there so I jumped on it and climbed down it. I ran and ran, no destination like last time. Again I was running away. With nowhere to go.

_**Like a wavering, shimmering haze**_

_**We were unable to choose right or left**_

_**Sometimes we're impatient, driven by something**_

_**Dreams or love or trifling things...**_

I thought about my mother and finding my sister again. That gave me the strength to run faster. This time, I wouldn't make any mistakes, I wouldn't turn back. This time, I'd run and run until the city lights of this horrible place faded. I had to, I just had to.

_**It's too much, the things I want to do**_

_**Are denied me and I'm tied down**_

_**Unable to do anything right, just spinning my wheels**_

_**It's pathetic**_

_**Do I really want ot stay like this?**_

I don't want to stay like this. I don't want to be abused sexually, mentally and physically anymore. I would have no destination. I would keep on running, just keep on running.

_**I overcame so many obstacles, but still there are more**_

_**How long will this go on?**_

_**Will I ever be able to break free?**_

I would find a way to break free from this hellish place. I'd be able to forget about my past and I would someday be free. No more pain and suffering. No more. No more imitations of my stupid step dad.

_**On the journey to the future**_

_**Not everyone is strong**_

_**When I'm crushed by anxiety**_

_**I stop and time just keeps flowing...**_

Just keep running, nowhere to go. I ran and ran and ran. I came upon the city's outskirts. I looked back to see the city lights shimmering. Never to look back again. Ever...

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	6. On the Run

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**When you last left off from Haru's life, he was about to make a horrible decision. Will he kill his parents or will his heart come out of the dark and stop him from doing it? Find out. Enjoy chapter VI.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", and the ending song is "Change", both are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR.

**Chapter Preview:**_"Don't you dare say a damn word, one wrong move, and you'll be dead," I threatened again. I looked back at the woman and whispered to her. "Call the police, now," I told her. She blushed, nodded and went into the back. The man I had in a head lock and a sword pointed to his neck, dropped the money and started to shake in fear._

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Haru's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::VI::**

"**On the Run"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

I want to find my mother in this rotton sea. This rotton life of mine. But I know that she'll never come back. She'll never see me growing up. She'll never see the tears I've shed. She'll never see how much I've been suffering. She'll never see me...Even if I did take my own life, I woudn't see her, because my life is too fucked up for me to go to wherever she is now. I'd go to hell.

Because they all...Need...

"To die..." I whispered. I walked into the small kitchen and grabbed the biggest knife in the drawer by the sink I walked into my adoptive parent's room. Knife in hand...

"I want to plunge the blade of weakness, born from this torn away heart...Into their hearts...You need to die..."

I raised the blad, ready to plunge it into my adoptive mother's chest. But she sighed in her sleep and slowly rolled over.

_"Don't do it..."_

A soft and beautiful voice echoed in my mind. I shook myself out of it and looked at what I was holding. A knife? What just happened to me? What the hell was I thinking?! I put my wet hand on my face and turned around and dropped the knife onto the brown carpetted floor. I began to cry. What the hell was happening to me? Where did I go wrong? What was I about to do? I was one move away from ruining my whole life. The tears streamed down my cheeks as I slowly walked out of the door. I heard sirens. Police sirens. Damn it...

Just then a cop car pulled up to my house.

"Fuck..." I hissed underneath my breath. What if they knew it was me that killed that man. Isuzu's step father. Damn it...I did kill him, didn't I? I was so angry I hardly remember it. Damn it all to hell. The cop got out of the car and started to walk up to me. My heart raced and my stupid stomach was in a million knots.

"Excuse me there, tell me, why are you out so early in the morning? And just after a rain storm?" the cop asked.

"Um...I just, came out to get some fresh air. I always wake up this early, why is there a problem officer?" I asked, keeping eye contact with him.

"Well, about seven blocks away, we found a man underneath a white car dead. His neck was snapped and there is sign of struggle, we're looking around for anybody out this early, either for questioning or as a suspect," the cop crossed his arms.

"A murder, eh? Well, this is a damn big city, so your muderder could have just fleed," I casually said.

"What's your name, boy?" the cop asked. My mind raced, should I tell him my real name or should I give him a fake one?

"The name's Inoue Hajime," I lied.

"Thank you sir, well, we've identified the man as a Nobuo Kitami, and he had a step daughter by the name of Isuzu. A witness has already gave us some information that they saw his step daughter running away, and that was it, so Inoue, if you happen to find anything out about Isuzu or the murderer, please let us know. So far, there are no suspects," the cop wrote some stuff down and walked back to his car and waved.

That sure was easy. Unless he was on to me and wrote some stuff down about me. I looked back at my house and at the road. I had to get out of this freaking town or sooner or later they'd figure me out. There's a chance somebody could have seen me last night. Damn, I had to get out of here. I ran into my house and into my trashed room.

I grabbed my money and threw on a black trench coat and threw my white one away. Then I grabbed my cell phone and snuck into my parents' room and grabbed their car keys. I picked up the knife from earlier and put it back into the kitchen. I packed some clothes and ran outside into their car and casually drove off down the street. I looked back and made sure nobody heard me and looked out of the house.

Quickly, I dialed his number and put my cell to my ear. It was early, but I knew he'd do anything for me. We were cousins after all.

"Hello?" he answred after ten rings in a tired voice.

"Hey Kyo, it's Haru,"

**xXxXxXx**

"Why the hell did you have to call me out here so damn early?!" Kyo angrily demanded as he handed me some money.

"Well, I needed some dough and somewhere to crash for a couple of nights," I shrugged.

"Damn you, Haru, you're such a baby. Why me?" he scratched his head and yawned.

We were standing outside of his house at almost five in the morning. I had asked him for some money and to stay a couple of nights because I knew that if the cops found out it was me who killed Isuzu's step dad, then Kyo's house would be last on the list, since my adoptive parents didn't know anything about my real family.

"Why you? Because you're the only family member I know who lives in the same city as I do. So then, thanks for lettin' me crash here for a while. Hope I'm not putting you out. I'll be outta here in no time," I said as he led me into his house. He lived alone because he ran away from home too. He used to live with our older cousin, Shigure but Kyo felt he was burdening Shigure too much so he decided to pack up and leave.

"Whatever, I'm going back to bed now," Kyo yawned and went into his room and shut the door. I looked at the couch and plopped down.

I wondered what Isuzu was up to now? I let my heavy eyelids close and fell into a deep slumber. When I awoke, the sun was a little higher in the sky. I felt pretty rested up so I stood up from the couch and yawned huge. So what was everybody up to now? Were my parents looking for me? Or did they even care? Did they find out I killed Isuzu's step dad yet? That Nobuo Kitami dude.

I hardly remembered killing him. Really, I guess I was _so_ angry at him that I was out of control. Really out of control. Hopefully nobody'd find me out. And hopefully the police don't figure out that Kyo's my only blood family member in this city. I sighed hard and looked out the window. Some dark rain clouds were coming in, ready to pound once more on this rainy city.

The sight of that Isuzu girl came to mind. I wonder if she knew her step father was dead. I wondered if she would be sad or relieved that he was dead. Guess I'd never find out, becaues I'd probably never see her again. Ever...I sighed at the thought and turned around to see Kyo coming out of his room, messy orange hair and tired red eyes. He yawned like a cat and went into the kitchen. I followed.

"Hey man, let's go out to eat some lunch," I suggested. He looked at me and raised his eye brow as he searched his fridge.

"You nuts, Haru? Did you hear the radio? There's suppose to be a tornado watch until seven tonight. I ain't takin' any chances with this rainy city. Didn't you hear about that tornado last year? It about hit half the city!" Kyo glared at me and pulled out carton of milk and started to guzzle it. I rolled my eyes.

"Come on, Kyo, I haven't eaten out for years! I'll pay, kay? I still got some dough you know?" I stretched out.

"That's because _I _gave you the money you have now. Don't think I'm gonna let you waste all today," Kyo finished the milk and wiped away his milk mustache and threw away the carton.

"Aw, come on, it's better than drinking milk from the carton and then going back to sleep, damn you have the personality of a lazy cat you know?" I laughed.

"Whatever...Well, I guess we could go out for lunch, just this once though. Don't waste your runaway money though, I'll pay," Kyo sighed hard and grabbed his red jacket and put on his black tennis shoes. We walked out the back door and got into my car--er my parents' car and drove off down to main street. The clouds started to pile in the sky and it also began to lightning.

"Damn rain, why the hell does it alwys have to rain?!" Kyo crossed his arms and glared at the sky. I turned into a fast food resteraunt and we ordered some hamburgers and fries. As we drove back to Kyo's house, we saw some police in the same neighborhood.

"Uh-oh, looks like another drug bust," Kyo laughed. What would I tell Kyo? Would I tell him that I actually killed someone? He might not get too upset, I mean yeah he'd be pissed at me for a while, but he'd probably try to get me out of town too. But I had to be safe, so I lied.

"Um, Kyo?" I started.

"Yeah?" Kyo said as I pulled into his small house.

"Last night, I found this one girl and saved her from this gang that was trying to rape her, and...They slipped some, er, cocain into my pocket and ran off. And then that man was murdered, you know the one they've been talking about on the radio?" I said nervously, hoping he'd believe me.

"So you might be suspected of the murder? Eh, that's not surprising, considering you _do_ look suspicious. And where'd you hide the drugs they slipped into your pocket?" Kyo asked.

"I left it under a tree and uh...I'm afraid that they might find it and know it was me. So, maybe it's a good idea if I left town earlier than just staying for a couple more days. That'd be safer," I shrugged as Kyo downed his hamburger.

"I dunno, you didn't do anything wrong, so why would they be after you? Just tell them the truth," Kyo shrugged like it was nothing.

"You don't understand man, I might be suspected of murder!" I practically yelled at him.

"Whoa, calm down Haru, okay, okay, if you're _that _worried, the we'll leave tonight," Kyo said.

"What the hell? Are you sick or something? You've lived in this small house for how long now? Why just run away with me now? I might be convicted of something I didn't do!" I yelled at him once more. Damn, maybe I should have told him it was me that killed Isuzu's step dad. Then again, Kyo doesn't even know about Isuzu. I just said I saved some girl last night and had some cocain slipped into my pocket. But the cocain part was completely made up!

"I dunno, I've been thinking about moving out anyway. It's a lame house and a noisy city anyway. Maybe moving out will benefit for the both of us," Kyo shrugged.

"Hold up a minute, really?" my eyes widened.

"Really, but I have to ask one question. Why are you so afraid of being convicted of a killing you didn't do? It's almost as if you did do it from you spazzing a couple of minutes ago," he finished his fries and looked me in the eye. I looked down. The rain started to fall.

"I guess it's because...I...I was out last night. And you know, the police came to my house this morning so yeah, the cop wrote some stuff down about me. So I'm afraid that if I stay here, I'll be put in the slammer," I shrugged and looked at Kyo with a sort of pouty look. He rolled his eyes.

"Damn you Haru, you're so complicated. I guess I'll come with you wherever you want to run away. You've always been the one to run away from everything eh?" Kyo laughed and got out of the car. I followed and we ran in.

Kyo went into his room and started to pack some stuff in a big bag and threw me some clean clothes.

"Take these. Your long jackets will get you noticed, so wear normal clothes for now," Kyo said and packed some toiletries. I packed his clothes in my bag and sighed.

"So this is it then? We're really leaving without a word?" I asked.

"Hey, I left Shigure without a word. I was burdening him and I left to show that damn Yuki I wasn't afraid of anything," Kyo laughed and threw his stuff on the couch. He sat down on a small chair and sighed.

We agreed that we'd leave late at night so nobody would see us, so we slept through the rest of the day. At about seven, the tornado watch was put to rest by Kyo putting the radio on full blast. The rain let up but the chaos didn't. There was four hard knocks at the door and the door bell rang about six times.

"Who's at the door?" Kyo whispered as he came out of his room. I shot up from the couch. The second I did, the people behind the door yelled.

"This is the police, we know you're in there Hatsuharu! Come out quietly and we need to ask you more questions about the murder from last night," a man's voice yelled from behind the door.

"Damn," I looked at Kyo and grabbed my bag.

"My car's out back," Kyo waved for me to follow him. I grabbed my shoes on and grabbed my bag and quietly followed him to the back door.

"What about my parents' car?" I asked.

"Who cares? Just leave it, it's not yours anyway. And if you get caught with your parents' stolen car, that'll be a dead give away," Kyo whispered as he slowly opened the car door to his black sports car.

"How did you get this car?" I asked surprised.

"Get in and I'll tell you once we're outta here," Kyo said, quietly closing the door. I did the same as he started it up and slowly pulled into the alley and left the head lights off so the cops wouldn't see us pull out of the back drive way. We got onto the main road and headed out of town.

"Phew, damn that was close," Kyo laughed. My heart was pounding like crazy.

"So, how'd you get this bad baby?" I asked.

"Oh yeah, I bought it from this one guy. It was at a pretty good price so I bought it with all my savings and earnings," Kyo shrugged and hit me.

"Ow, what'd you do that for?" I held my arm and punched him back.

"No hitting the driver you murderer," he laughed.

"Shut up, Kyo, I didn't murder anybody," I glared and looked out the window.

"Geez, calm down. Why you so touchy? I was only kidding," Kyo sighed and we were both quiet for about twenty minutes. I decided it was time I told him the truth, otherwise, if he went on believing I didn't do anything, then he'd hate me if I told him later on. I took a deep breath and looked at him as he drove.

"Kyo," I began.

"What?" he looked at me with blank expression.

"I killed that man last night," I told him. Kyo laughed like it was a joke.

"I was only kidding when I called you a murderer. Didn't mean to hurt you," he half smiled.

"No, Kyo. I'm dead serious, I freaking killed the guy!" I yelled angrily, trying to get through to him.

"What the hell? You joking with me or something?! Because this isn't funny," Kyo short stopped the car and looked me in the eye.

"I'm not joking. I KILLED HIM LAST NIGHT. I was so angry that he would hurt his own step daughter that I snapped his neck! I don't even remember the whole damn thing! All I remember is that I was so angry that a darkness in me came out and I killed him. I would have killed my own parents but that darkness in me left," I punched the car door and looked down.

Kyo was speechless. He started the car up again and drove off the rest of the way, without saying a word at all.

**xXxXxXx**

"Why did you do it?" Kyo asked out of the blue as we approached a city bout an hour away from where we just escaped. I looked at him, surprised he actually said something. I looked down in silence. "Tell me why you did it and I'll start talking to you again," Kyo said seriously. I decided to reply.

"The girl I saved, her name was Isuzu. The guy I killed last night was her step father. Apparently he abused her in every way possible and he was trying to force her into the car they found him dead under last night. I killed him because, I don't know...Knowing he'll abuse like that, I had to do something. I know that's not a reason to kill someone, but I guess since I've been abused too, I had to put a stop to it," I shrugged as I slowly finished.

Kyo pulled into a hotel parking lot and looked down. He sighed before saying something.

"I'm sorry, man. I didn't know you were hurting this much," Kyo looked at me and gave half a smile.

"Don't get all mushy here, Kyo, that's just not you," I laughed.

"Hey, you're my cousin, and we are our brother's keeper. You're like a younger brother to me. And though we've fought a lot in the past, I'm here for you. So if you need anything, just ask. I might say bull crap at first, but if you really need it, ask," he nodded and patted me on the shoulder.

It's as if he ignored the whole part about me actually killing someone. It's as if he didn't want to hear that. His mind didn't want to know the part about what I did. He just heard the part about me being abused. And he didn't even say much about that part. It's strange, but I was relieved Kyo reacted the way he did. I nodded back at him.

"So we gonna stay in this hotel?" I asked, giving the building a sour look. I've always hated the smell of hotels. Not that I've stayed in many in my lifetime.

"Guess so, we've got nowhere else to stay. And it's getting pretty late," Kyo shrugged as we got out of his car. We got into the hotel and the girl at the desk blushed as we walked in. I gave her some service and winked at her. Then Isuzu came to mind. Why the hell did Isuzu come to mind? Like I said before, it's not like I'd ever see her again.

"We'd like to stay in a room," Kyo said. I nudged him.

"Obviously," I laughed quietly. The girl laughed too.

"Okay, so you two boys together?" she asked raising her eyebrow, looking little dissapointed. She typed some stuff into her computer and told us there was a room with two beds available.

"Whoa, we're not together in _that _way. We're cousins driving to a relative's house. I'm pretty beat for driving an hour. Haven't drove this far in months," Kyo explained giving her some cash.

"Okay then, thank you, here's your key card. Enjoy your stay," she bowed and we took the elevator to our room. I stretched as we came into our room. I plopped onto the bed next to the window and instantly crashed.

The next morning, Kyo woke me up with his strong smelling cologne.

"Ugh! Why the hell do you gotta wear that much cologne?!" I complained sitting up and rubbing my eyes.

"It'll be at least another day until we get to where Shigure lives. That means another day until we can bathe. So better take a shower now," he said, swishing his wet hair all over me. I glared at him and pushed him out of the way so I could take shower. As I let the hot water cascade down my back, I remembered the night before last.

_"Isuzu! Stop it right there! You are in a deep hole of trouble, you damn bitch!" Isuzu turned to the voice and so did I. He was a tall man with dark hair and darkish skin. _

_"Who's that?" I asked Isuzu. She obviously knew this guy. Could this be her father? But she didn't look anything like him._

_"Damn it, he was looking for me this whole time?"__Isuzu asked out loud, possibly to herself. She looked scared though for some reason. This guy...Could he be the one who abused Isuzu? But, he was her father, right? Or am I only assuming?_

_"Isuzu, who the hell is that guy?"__I wanted to know and I wanted to know now. _

_"Get in the damn car, Isuzu!"__the man said from the car after a short pause. I really fucking wanted to kill this guy for yelling at a female. I mean, who the hell does he think he is?! No respect I'm guessing._

_"Hey, who do you think you are telling her what to do?"__I yelled at him. But Isuzu came over to me and tugged at my arm. I looked at her with one eyebrow up._

_"No, Haru, don't! You'll only make things worse. Get out of here now, you'll only make things worse," she whispered to me as she repeated herself. I'll only make things worse eh? I could probably save Isuzu. Did she just call me Haru? But then she pushed me away._

_"But, Isuzu? Who the hell is that?" I angrily asked once more. That man started walking towards us with a killer look in his eyes. _

_"I'm her father, now get outta here you stupid gang member!" _

The memory echoed in my mind as I finished my shower. I wrapped a towel around my waiste and punched the wall. Where did I go wrong?! Why the hell can't I get Isuzu out of my mind? Did she affect me that much? She was just an ordinary girl I saved one night from a gang trying to rape her. But did she care at all if I saved her? She didn't even thank me like she meant it. But still...She was abused too, so...I guess that's why I felt so connected with her.

"You almost done in there? Check out time is noon, it's eleven forty," Kyo said from behind the door. I sighed and got dressed. We were on the road at about noon and ran into another damn storm. The storm made the sky black as night, even though it was afternoon.

"Looks like it'll hail, we should go to a rest stop," I suggested. Kyo nodded and pulled into a gas station. Some guy was smoking by the front door and four other guys looked as if to be on the watch for someone. They looked suspicous.

"I'm gonna get some gas, then we'll find a fast food place and shelter there for now," Kyo said getting out. I nodded as the men pacing around the gas station were looked at each other. They watched a family come out of the gas station and then they all went in. I got out and made sure I had some cash.

"Hey, Kyo, I'm gonna go in a get some chips and a soda. Be right back," I told him. Kyo nodded after he slid his debit card to pay for the gas. I walked into the gas station and carefully watched the five men pace around the small aisles. They kept looking at each other and at the store clerk. Then one of them grabbed a pink soad drink and went up to pay for it. I almost laughed at what he was about to buy but held myself back.

The other four men weren't doing a good job at trying to look casual. I grabbed some chips and slowly watched him pay for his stuff. The store clerk, who was a girl, scanned his pink soda.

"That'll be one fifty, sir," she said holding out her hand. The man stretched and gave her a twenty dollar bill. "Thank you sir," she said putting the twenty into the cash register. The man stretched out again and tippy toed as the woman was counting the change. Then the man reached over and started to violently grab dollar bills from the register. The other four men took their cues and took out some guns.

"Shit," I said underneath my breath. I knew this was suspicious. I acted fast and grabbed one of the samurai swords on display by the gas station window and hid behind the aisle so they wouldn't see me.

"Stop it! Stop it!" the woman cried.

"Shoot any cameras you see, men!" the guy at the register yelled. The men started to search for cameras and started shooting them. I crawled closer to the register and stood up behind the man and held the sword to his throat.

"Drop the money," I said to him quietly. "Or this'll be your last robbery," I said in my most evil sounding tone. The woman behind the register sighed with relief. The other men were too busy shooting down cameras to notice me.

"Don't you dare say a damn word, one wrong move, and you'll be dead," I threatened again. I looked back at the woman and whispered to her. "Call the police, now," I told her. She blushed, nodded and went into the back. The man I had in a head lock and a sword pointed to his neck, dropped the money and started to shake in fear.

A few minutes later, Kyo came in. Damn it!

"Hey Haru, come on, I don't have all day--What the?!" Kyo saw the man I had in a head lock. The man took this opportunity to get away. He kicked my leg and yelled to the other four men.

"Shoot them! Then make a run for it!" the man yelled, picking up all the money on the floor. Kyo ducked and so did I as the men started to shoot blindly.

"Nice timing, _genius_!" I glared at Kyo.

"Hey, how was I suppose to know this place was being robbed?!" Kyo said. Smoke filled the room and aisles of candy and various things started to fall over from the pressure of the bullets. We quickly crawled behind the clerk's desk and hid. They were still shooting blindly.

"What do we do?" Kyo asked.

"How am I suppose to know? You should have just waited for me to come out. I had all this under control!" I nudged him and looked under the desk. There was some fireworks there. Probably stored away until summer came. I tapped Kyo as he held his head.

"Come out, come out wherever you are! Stupid kids!" the man I had in a head lock earlier yelled. Kyo looked at me.

"What?" he whispered in a scared voice.

"Over there, under the where the clerk stands," I said.

"Fireworks? Who gives a damn? We're about to DIE here and all you can think about is fireworks? Worry about them when we're not about to die," he said, covering up his head again.

"No, we could light the artilery shells and throw the firecrackers at them. That should scare them away, it's are only weapon right now. It's either that, or two anonymous dudes laying dead in a gas station," I nudged him again.

"I see, okay then. Worth a try before they find us," Kyo said crawling over there. I grabbed some matches from a rack and lit one. I set the artilery shell in a cup and aimed it randomly. I lit it and closed my ears. The blast screeched, and then BOOM! I started to laugh for some reason because it would be so funny to see the look on their faces! Soon the shooting stopped and the men ran out. I looked over the counter to see the leading man standing there in shock.

I jumped over the counter and punched him in the nose. He fell back and the money went flying. I kicked his foot and he stood up with a bloody nose, he swung at me but I blocked his punches. I punched him in the gut and he fell down. Finally the police came.

"Damn it!" the man laying on the ground moaned. When the police came in, I pointed at him. They restrained him.

"Thank you so much for you help! Whoa, looks like this gas station is crapped up. But anyway, as long as nobody is hurt," the officer nodded as they took the man away. Then Kyo poked his head out from the counter, looking like a scared little kitten. I laughed at him. This was a GREAT way to start a day! I thought to myself sarcastically.

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	7. Freezing Rain

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**From this chapter on to however many chapters it takes for Isuzu to change, Haru won't be appearing to tell his part. Don't worry, he'll come back later, but I want the story to be more about Isuzu than about Haru. So I'm sorry for that, kay? But I hope you enjoy reading about how Isuzu starts to trust again. Enjoy chapter VII.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", and the ending song is "Change", both are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR. The insert song is "Not a Single Soul" by Fitch.

**Chapter Preview**___"But sometimes I still pretend my mom is here. It's sad, but I treasure every single moment of my life. I know it's a little strange, but I even treasure the bad moments in my life," she sighed and nodded at me._

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Isuzu's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::VII::**

"**Freezing Rain"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

_"Come out, come out wherever you are, sweetie," he laughed. I looked at the nightstand and grabbed the clock and broke the window open. Luckily, there was a tree there so I jumped on it and climbed down it. I ran and ran, no destination like last time. Again I was running away. With nowhere to go._

_I thought about my mother and finding my sister again. That gave me the strength to run faster. This time, I wouldn't make any mistakes, I wouldn't turn back. This time, I'd run and run until the city lights of this horrible place faded. I had to, I just had to._

_I don't want to stay like this. I don't want to be abused sexually, mentally and physically anymore. I would have no destination. I would keep on running, just keep on running._

_I would find a way to break free from this hellish place. I'd be able to forget about my past and I would someday be free. No more pain and suffering. No more. No more imitations of my stupid step dad. _

_Just keep running, nowhere to go. I ran and ran and ran. I came upon the city's outskirts. I looked back to see the city lights shimmering. Never to look back again. Ever..._

**xXxXxXx**

I was running, but as soon as the lights from the city faded, I started to walk. I hugged myself and started to cry. Was this the life for me? Was this what I would have to keep doing? Running way in the freezing rain, always? Was this how everybody was to treat me? My ex-best friends treated me like crap. My step father abused me. My sister left. My mother killed herself. And nobody understood me. They say there's many others suffering like me. But why compare myself to others who are suffering? Why not take this pain away and not care what anybody thought?

Nobody would be sad and nobody would come to my funeral. I'd be an anonymous girl who cut up her arms to die. They'd never know why I did it. Nobody would know who I was. Not a single soul would know. I stopped in my tracks and laid myself down in a ditch. I was gettings soaked by an overnight spring rain. The lightning illuminated the ground, thunder followed.

_**I watch the rain fall down, it lands so peacefully**_

_**I wish it would fall now and slowly drown me**_

_**Not a single soul would hear me scream**_

_**Not a single soul would know it was me**_

I laid on my back and held up my right arm. Then I folded my sleeve down to reveal a bandaged up arm with blood seeping through. I removed the bandage and took my left hand and started to scratch up my arm more and more. Blood slowly cascaded down my arm. My vision started to blur.

_"It isn't worth it...Would you rather live or get an instant ticket to hell?"_

A familiar voice echoed in my mind. It was that Hatsuharu guy's voice. Why was he coming to mind? Was it that because he woudn't let me die? He was the only one who wouldn't let me die. Why was that? As I was thinking about it, his smile came to mind. I dropped my arm and stopped scratching it up. I closed my eyes and replayed the events of Hatsuharu in my mind. Why did he care so much?

Did he actually care about somebody he didn't know? I felt myself dreaming, and then for brief seconds, I heard a woman's voice. And a man's voice. But what they were saying didn't make sense. Well, it made sense, but I couldn't tell if it was a dream or not. I saw car headlights for seconds. Water was filling my eyes. I could smell the cold rain falling upon me.

"She's still breathing! Momiji, Hiro, come here! Help me get her into the car, we'll take her to a hospital!" the woman's voice yelled out. I felt a warm hand against my forehead. Wait, the voice wasn't that of a woman. It was a younger voice. A girl about to be my age. Was this a dream?

"Hurry up Momiji, you dummy!" a young boy's voice yelled out.

"Coming!" another male's voice called out.

"Don't worry, you're going to be okay," the girl's voice said to me. I slowly opened my eyes. The girl was wet and had long brown hair. Her big eyes looked so happy and innocent. They were of a blue color. I couldn't hold my eyes open any longer, so I let them close again.

I felt myself in a soft bed. The smell of a hospital came to my senses. Damn, not again. Once again I wasn't able to kill myself. Why wasn't I able to DO IT?! I opend my eyes to a yellow room. My head itched so I tried to lift my hand to scratch it. But there were these strange straps holding my arms down. Both my arms. I looked at my arms and my whole body ended up being strapped down.

"Ugh, what the hell?!" I started to struggle. Damn, where was I? I knew this wasn't a dream, because my arms were throbbing with pain and my yells were clear. I looked at the IV in my arm. I screamed. I hated hospitals now. Why the hell were they doing this to me?! What if I had to go to another damn foster home?! What then?!

Suddenly, a nurse came into the room.

"Honey, it's all right, it's all right..Calm down, you're going to be okay," she attempted to calm me down. But I continued to struggle.

"What happened?! Where am I?!" I yelled at her.

"You're in the recovery room. You've been asleep for over a week. We thought you'd never wake up because of the severe blood loss of your body. But we managed to save you," the nurse smiled as I slowly calmed down.

"Why...Why the hell am I in these stupid straps?" I glared at her as I asked.

"Well, the girl who found you laying in a ditch just ten miles out of town said you had scratched up your arms. And we examined you and found that you've been cutting with sharper objects," the nurse explained.

"What girl found me?" I questioned.

"Oh, her name is Tohru Honda. She was driving her two friends Momiji and Hiro home from a late night lesson. She said she saw you laying in the ditch scratching up your arm and then she drove into town and came to the emergency room." This nurse wasn't making any sense. So then, that dream wasn't a dream. It was real. I was really found by a girl. A girl named Tohru? Hmm...

"Where is this girl now?" I asked.

"Oh, would you like to thank her? She's been checking in every day on you. Would you like me to contact her?" the nurse asked.

"Yes...I would most definently love to thank her," I sarcastically hissed. She didn't seem to notice my cynical remark though.

"Okay then, I'll be right back," she smiled and walked out. Of course I couldn't escape this time due to the dumb straps holding me down. That damn nurse didn't tell me why I was strapped down though. I mean, did they think I was crazy or something? A few minutes later, she came back.

"Miss Tohru will be here in a few minutes," she said bowing. I sighed and looked out the window. Where was my life to go from here now? Would I just have to end up running away again? But how? I was strapped down. About ten minutes later, a girl walked in with some flowers.

"Excuse me, it's me, Tohru Honda. I'm the one who saved you last week. How are you?" the girl with long brown hair asked. It was official. I definently wasn't dreaming. I looked over at her and sighed.

"How do you _think_ I am? How would you feel if you were strapped down in a damn hospital bed for a week?" I glared at her. I really wanted to hit her for finding me.

"Oh, um, well I'm sorry about that. Here's some flowers for you. I'm really glad you're alive," she smiled sweetly. It matched her girly yellow sweater and blue skirt. I sighed hard and closed my eyes.

"Why did you save me?" I asked.

"Oh well, you were out in the freezing rain and all, and I saw you scratching up your arm as I drove by. My friend Hiro saw you laying there too and I stopped the car to see if you were hurt. And you were, so I told my friends to help me get you into the car. And I guess I just didn't want anybody to die," she shrugged as she nervously finished.

"Thanks a lot," I sarcastically said.

"You're welcome," she bowed.

"No, I'm not thanking you for saving me. I'm freaking being sarcastic you dumbass. Are you stupid or something?! When somebody's trying to take their own life, you LET them!" I yelled at her.

"Oh, well, I don't think that it's right to take your own life. That's selfish I think. Um...But...If you were trying to take your life, then why did you stop scratching your arm up?" she asked. I went wide eyed.

"That's none of your business," I hissed back.

"Oh...Too personal I see. So then you really didn't want to die. Do you have any family? Did you run away or something?" Tohru sat down on a chair by the door and waited for me to answer.

"Why are you so nosy? You don't even know me, okay? So quit asking me dumb questions you'll never know the answer to," I snapped at her.

"I'm sorry, you must be going through a lot right now. Oh, I don't even know your name! What is it?" she smiled. I hesitated for a while, not wanting to tell her my name, I decided to tell her my story.

"I did run away, yes...From home, from that horrid city I lived in. Gangs practically ruled that city. I was beat up the first night I attempted to run away. My mother got married a while back and I lived with my sister, Kagura too. Then after my mother married. Things changed. My mother got into fights often with my new step dad. She couldn't take it anymore, so she killed herself. Recently she killed herself. I was alone, and then my sister Kagura left. She moved somewhere without a word to anybody. Then it was just me and my step dad. He...he would hit me. He would yell at me. And at night he'd come into my room and even..." My tears started to fall. Tohru's eyes began to water a little too.

She came over and wiped away my tears with a tissue.

"There, now that wasn't so hard, was it? I'm sorry that that stuff happened to you. And I can see now why you're hurting. I know what it feels like to not have a mother," Tohru's eyes watered and she turned around.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"My mother, Kyoko. She died in a car crash a few months back. And I was alone for a while. But then one day, while I was walking in the freezing rain, I came upon a puppy. He led me to this one house, where a young boy named Hiro lived. His mother took me in and I met Momiji. We all became good friends. I was happy again, and even going to a new school," she sniffled and turned back to me with a smile on her face.

"But sometimes I still pretend my mom is here. It's sad, but I treasure every single moment of my life. I know it's a little strange, but I even treasure the bad moments in my life," she sighed and nodded at me.

"That is strange, but I envy you for finding a home," I sighed again and looked out the window.

"Well, maybe you can--" I cut Tohru off.

"No way am I staying with your family. I've burdened enough people. I've bothered them so much that they end up hitting me or attempting to rape me," I gave a sarcastic laugh.

"But, Hiro's mother and father are nothing like that! They're good people. They treat me like their own daughter. Hiro is like my brother. He and I fight a lot, but Momiji is like my brother too. Momiji comes over often, he's so sweet to us all. His father loves him with all his heart. Because Momiji's mother left him too," Tohru sighed and fiddled with her skirt.

"Why is it that all mothers are leaving these days?" I asked a little meanly.

"Oh...Not all mothers are like that. Just some, I guess. But all mothers are different. Some abusive, some loving, some over protective, and some normal. Accidents happen. Hurting causes big mistakes like suicide," Tohru sat back down after talking. She meant that accidents can kill mothers, like hers. And hurting causes big mistakes like suicide.

"I'll never really know why my mother killed herself. I'm only assuming that it was my step dad that caused her to do it. But that's all I'm assuming. I'm still angry at her for doing that. But I have to let her go. You know, I don't even know who my real father is. My mother didn't talk about him at all," I felt the tears start to flow.

Hurtful memories came to mind. But what Tohru said earlier. She said that she treasures even the bad memories in her life. That would probably make life easier if everybody treasured each and every memory in their lives.

"Well, if you ever need anything, here's my cell phone number," Tohru wrote something down in a pretty red journal she took out of her small bag. Then she set the whole journal by my bed side.

"You're giving me this whole notebook?" I asked.

"Yes, I am. I wrote several poems in there. If you ever feel down, just read them. From this day on, you've made a new friend. Okay? No more running away in the freezing rain. Kay? Well, I'll come visit you tomorrow, see you soon! Be safe, okay?" Tohru waved and slowly began to walk away.

"Wait..." I said to her. She turned around.

"My name is Isuzu..." I briefly smiled and she gave a sweet grin and nodded to me.

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	8. Memories and Illusions

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**Now that Isuzu's made a new friend, what will become of their newfound friendship? Will Isuzu choose to allow the friendship to grow? Or will she reject it? Before she can decide, she has a series of dreams. Dreams of her memories, and what she would like her life to be like. Enjoy chapter VIII.

**XxxxX-**This indicates a dream or memory

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", and the ending song is "Change", both are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR. The instert song "Nobody's Home" is by Avril Levigne

**Chapter Preview:**_I was nothing but a nobody runaway. But as I watched myself in my dream, I felt I had a choice to change my dream into an illusion. Maybe I could dream happily for once. I wanted to change everything. Maybe a way to make myself happy is to dream of the past but make different things happen._

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Isuzu's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::VIII::**

"**Memories and Illusions"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

Now that I was fully awake, the doctors let the straps off of me and I was able to roam feely through my room under survelliance. When I needed to use the rest room, they'd make a nurse come with me so I wouldn't cut myself or scratch my arms up. I had to wear special water proof bandages when I took a shower and even a nurse had to make sure I didn't take them off to cut more. I had no privacy, no way to escape at all.

A few days passed, and Tohru didn't come back. I knew it was too good to be true. I freaking can't trust anybody these days. Nobody at all. Then another week passed, and a counselor came in to see me. I sighed because I hated counselors. All they did was ask "how do you feel about that" or "time's up, I'll see you next week" or other crap like that. They had no idea what you were feeling. They couldn't help anybody. Because they had their own lives, why worry about their dumb patients? They're only using their patients to get money.

"Good afternoon, I'm Doctor Mari Asaka. I was called in today by the doctors taking care of you. Now, I understand you're here because you were found cutting up your arm and you were saved by a girl your age. Tell me, how do you feel about that?" See what I mean? That's all they say after stating the problem or whatever.

"I don't feel anything," I replied.

"You mean you don't feel relieved that you didn't loose too much blood to die? You're not relieved that a girl found you and saved you?" she gave a cheesy smile.

"No, why would I be relieved? My objective was to die," I explained, glaring at her.

"You're so pale...Sweetie, tell me, why would you want to die? What was going through your mind when you were cutting? And have you cut before?" she asked, holding her clip board, ready to write crud down about me.

"Why do counselors have to ask questions like they don't care. You have no emotion in your eyes, why is that? You know what? Just leave okay? I don't want to have to talk to anybody!" I yelled at her.

"I'm sorry to hear that you won't open up. Tell me your name dear," she smiled.

"I'm Isuzu, is that all you want to know before you leave?" I glared.

"Do you have any other family member alive?" she asked, taking out a notebook.

"No I don't, I have no home to go to, nowhere to go! Nobody's home!" I felt the tears falling. I was so alone.

"So that settles it then. You have nowhere to go. No living relatives, nobody at all? You know, we have a foster program that can help you with that--" I cut her off.

"Shut up! I don't give a damn about some foster program. I did that before and I won't do it again! I sick and tired of people always fucking with me! You're fucking with me and all those damn men out there who should all die! YOU ALL NEED TO DIE AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!" I yelled as loud as I could. The counselor tried to hug me.

"It's okay dear, we'll get you some help, some professional help...It'll be all right." But I refused to let her touch me at all. Never again will I let anybody touch me. No matter what they meant by it. If they wanted to rape me, no touching. If they wanted to hug me. No touching. If they watned to stroke my hair...No touching.

"Get away from me! GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" I pushed her away and hopped off the bed. I tore the IV's out of my arm and threw them at her. She gave me a scared look as her bun came out. Her hair flowed all over.

"Nobody knows me. I'm sick of everybody saying I'm going through a phase. I'm sick of all of you saying I'll be okay! I have no friends, no family, nobody! So leave me be! Let me die!" I grabbed the flowers Tohru gave me and threw them at her. Then she pushed her watch. It beeped and a few mintues later, two doctors and three nurses came in.

"Restrain her! Get her professional help! She needs help!" the counselor stood up and gasped for breath. The doctors ran over to me and grabbed me. I struggled to get away. The nurses went to a white cabinet and pulled out the straps again.

"NO! I won't go into those again! LET ME DIE!" I felt out of control. What was the matter with me? What have I become? Where has my life gone? The doctors held me down on the bed and horrible memories came back. A memory where once my step dad was drunk. He had held me down on my own bed and violently raped me. I screamed and screamed but nobody came. Nobody ever came. My mind flashed back to reality. The nurses strapped me down and I continued to struggle.

"Don't worry my dear, you'll be in a safer place after this, I promise it'll get better from here on," the counselor nodded and left. The nurse took a needle and stuck it in my arm. I yelled and everything began to get blurry. What was going on? What were they doing?

My mind blurred away and my body went faint. My mind drowned into a deep, deep sleep. I could feel it. I could tell. I began to deeply dream.

**XxxxX**

I found myself walking home from school. When I got home, I opened the door to see Kagura and my mother standing there with open arms.

"Hello there, Isuzu! Welcome home!" Kagura smiled. I was shocked.

"Kagura? Mom? What are you guys doing here?" I asked, setting my back pack on the couch.

"We live here, remember? Today's your birthday, remember? So happy seventeenth birthday!" my mom smiled. This dream was a memory. Wasn't it? This was just months before she married _him. _And a year before she killed herself.

"Oh, yeah, today's July twelvth, right? I forgot my own birthday!" I laughed, falling more into the memory. This was so real.

"I have something to tell you, I'm marrying Nobuo!" she smiled. Kagura smiled and jumped up and down.

"Oh...Really? Your boyfriend huh? When did he propose?" I asked feeling a little down that a man would be coming into our lives.

"He proposed last week, but I wanted to save the news for you birthday. Remember a long time ago, I told you I'd meet you a new father? Well, our lives are looking up," my mom smiled and hugged me. That night, I went out to the movies with my then friends. Keiko and Chai.

"So Isuzu, what movie did you want to see? It's on us! It's you day!" Keiko laughed, waving money at me.

"Let's see a horror flick!" I suggested. Chai, Keiko and I would just laugh through the movie. We never really knew what it was about, or anything like that. Weeks passed and my mother was planning her wedding with a wedding planner. I felt left out though. Kagura was designing our mom's dress, she was too busy to talk to me. I would always tell Keiko and Chai about my life.

"I feel so alone, you know? But you two are always here for me, right?" I smiled.

"You know we'll be bud forever and ever. Ooh, I thought up a design for our tattoos when we all graduate, here it is," Chai took out a permanent marker and drew ribbon-like design and crossed it at the bottom with a V shape. I smiled as I blew on it for it to dry. The bell rang for us to go to class.

"Okay then, see you after school. We'll talk about your problem later kay?" Keiko and Chai smiled at me. I nodded. Then I went to class. That day after school, Keiko and Chai were waiting by my car that I had back then. I got in and they did too.

"So you told us that you feel so alone. What's going on right now at home?" Chai asked.

"Well, my mom's getting married right? And well, I just feel so left out because Kagura is too busy to talk to me. And this whole step dad thing, I haven't met him yet, but what if I feel more alone when he comes into the picture?" I sighed starting up the car. It started to rain again.

"Well, we're in summer school and all, so at least you don't feel so alone because you'll always have us! Anyway, let's go out to eat!" Keiko smiled, throwing money at me. We laughed. I didn't realize it back then, but they always brushed my problems off and would change the subject after saying they were there for me. If they were always there for me, then why didn't they talk to me? They would use me to get rides places and stuff.

Finally in September, my mother got married and I decided to go school shopping for real school to be back in. Keiko and Chai came with me to the mall.

"Okay then what are you going to buy?" Chai asked.

"My mom gave me three hundred dollars. But I have to spend it only on school clothes and school supplies." I told them.

"My dad only gave me a hundred dollars. Chai's mom gave her only seventy dollars! So do you think we can borrow some money? We'll pay you back ASAP! Please?" Keiko begged.

"Um...I guess, as long as I get what I need first. Then I'll see how much I have, don't worry, I'm not a big spender." I smiled at them as we browsed the mall. I bought some earrings and Keiko got upset because she wanted them.

"I was going to buy those ones last week," Keiko complained.

"Oh, really? But these are white earrings, don't you want blue ones?" I asked.

"Just take them, I'll find some other store--" I cut Keiko off.

"Okay, okay, have these ones, I'll go buy different ones," I smiled at her. Then we went into a Hot Topic. I wanted to buy a black T-shirt that I thought was really cool.

"I don't think you'd look good in that, Isuzu. The color brown suits you more, because of your dark hair and eyes," Chai smiled.

"But I like this shirt, I think I'll get it to wear on the first day of school," I grabbed it and was about to pay for it.

"No, Isuzu. I didn't want to hurt your feelings but, as a best friend, I want to be honest. That is a hideous shirt, you should buy this one," Chai held out a brown shirt that had a picture of chocolate on it. Now that was a hideous shirt, but I didn't want to make Chai mad, because she was always one to get mad easy.

"Um...I guess then," I was too nice to them back then. So I bought that shirt instead. When school started up, Chai came up to me with that same black shirt I wanted, with me wearing that ugly brown shirt.

"Um, I thought you said that was an ugly shirt?" I asked her as we were entering the school.

"Oh, I changed my mind and decided that it wasn't ugly. So I bought it. That shirt is cute on you!" she smiled at me. I felt like she was being two-faced. But back then, she was my friend, so I didn't really say anything. As time went on, my mother felt more and more distant after she got married.

At night, I would hear her and my step dad fighting over the stupidest things. He would even come home drunk and when my mom accused him of drinking and cheating on her, he'd yell louder. That's why I wasn't able to sleep at night. It was as if I had insomnia back then. When my mom got a job, my step dad would hit me when Kagura wasn't home.

"Damn it, get up for school!" he yelled one winter morning. I sat up and took a shower. When I got dressed, he came into the bathroom and raped me. I didn't tell anybody that day. Nobody.

"What's with you today? You're being all weird and ignoring us," Chai said in class the day I was raped.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me, I'm just tired," I assured her.

"Well, whatever it is, I'm here to talk to, kay? I really do care. Oh my gosh, yesterday this one guy was flirting with me when I went to the store..." I would always drown out Chai's stories of her and a guy. That's all she talked to me about was guys and flirting. Then she'd get all "heartbroken" when a guy wouldn't talk to her anymore. Something inside of me back then felt that she didn't really care. She just used me for money, rides and someone to gossip to.

I had my lunch hour with Keiko, so we would sit together and talk. But then Keiko met this really tall, ugly guy who she bonded with. She seemed to get along with him pretty well, and she even flirted with him. She even kept accusing me of liking him, but he was pimply and a jerk. When Keiko wasn't around he would call me "bitch". It hurt a lot. But I ignored him.

"Why are you quiet today, Isu?" Keiko asked.

"Huh? Oh, no reason, I'm just...Tired, that's all," I smiled.

"Oh, okay then, well ask me if you need to talk, hey guess what?! Yesterday..." again I drowned out another useless conversation. Keiko wouldn't shut up about the new guy she met that would sit with us at lunch all the time. It was annoying, having him always sit with us. He was embarrassing and disgusting.

"You know what, Keiko? I don't think I want to eat today, I think I'll go home because I feel sick," I held my stomach.

"Okay then, get well soon," she waved as I threw my tray away and ran upstairs to the school office.

"I'm sick," I told the secretary.

"You want to call your mother?" the secretary asked.

"Sure," I nodded.

"Okay then..." she handed me the phone and I dialed home. Then my dream faded as I was dialing. It faded into me standing in the rain with a cell phone. It was ringing and ringing. Just ringing. Endless ringing. I checked the number I just dialed.

"What the heck? How did I get here?" I asked myself as I looked at the number. Then I remembered I was dreaming again. Dreams I couldn't control. I knew I was dreaming, I just had no idea how to wake up. The number was to home, but nobody was answering. Nobody was home. Then my mind felt as if it was split into two. I then saw myself, I saw myself standing there, crying and crying. In the falling rain. Being soaked. Wanting to go home.

_**I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,  
She felt it everyday  
And I couldn't help her,  
I just watched her make the same mistakes again**_

Over and over, I saw myself running again and again from my own problems. Was that really me? Was that who I really was? Always doing the same thing over and over? But there was nothing left for me to do but run. Yet running only caused more problems, that's all it was.

_**What's wrong, what's wrong now?  
Too many, too many problems  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs  
She wants to go home, but nobody's home  
It's where she lies, broken inside  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes  
Broken inside**_

I saw memories flash before me. Of when I was cutting and cutting and cutting away. Memories of my friends abandoning me and memories of me screaming. Just endlessly screaming. Nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide from the pain, the endless sorrows and endless problems. Nobody would help me.

_**Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why  
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind  
Be strong, be strong now  
Too many, too many problems  
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs  
She wants to go home, but nobody's home  
It's where she lies, broken inside  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes  
Broken inside**_

I was nothing but a broken soul, looking for a place to run. But there was nobody to care for me. Nowhere to run. And nobody was home to greet me like in my memories of before my mom married. I wished so badly I could go back. Back to the times and change everything. _****_

Her feelings she hides  
Her dreams she can't find  
She's losing her mind  
She's fallen behind  
She can't find her place  
She's losing her faith  
She's fallen from grace  
She's all over the place  
Yeah, oh

I was nothing but a nobody runaway. But as I watched myself in my dream, I felt I had a choice to change my dream into an illusion. Maybe I could dream happily for once. I wanted to change everything. Maybe a way to make myself happy is to dream of the past but make different things happen._****_

She wants to go home, but nobody's home  
It's where she lies, broken inside  
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes  
Broken inside

I would have a home to go to...A good home..._****_

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah  
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

I wouldn't have to be lost anymore. I could have a good life in my illusions. I could have good memories too. It would be my mom and sister living in a nice house, where my mom would never meet him again. She would never marry. And I would dream happily...Always...

In my dreams and illusions...

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	9. Part of Me

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**As Isuzu dreams she awakens to Tohru. Yet when Tohru reveals another tragedy, she runs out and Isuzu is left alone again. The nurses inject her once again, bringing her into another deep dream, a dream of when Isuzu was in her prime, when her friends started to ignore her. Enjoy chapter IX.

**XxxxX-**This indicates a dream or memory

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", and the ending song is "Change", both are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR. The insert song is "Part of Me" by Ayumi Hamasaki.

**Chapter Preview**___"How's this feel, hun? Loving it so far? Too bad you won't get any of me anymore!" he held my arms behind my back as he and his girlfriend drug me behind a shed. He closed my mouth to drown my screams. At the same time, he was holding me down._

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Isuzu's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::IX::**

"**Part of Me"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

_I wouldn't have to be lost anymore. I could have a good life in my illusions. I could have good memories too. It would be my mom and sister living in a nice house, where my mom would never meet him again. She would never marry. And I would dream happily...Always..._

_In my dreams and illusions..._

**XxxxX**

I slowly opened my eyes to the sun's light. It was sunny for once. I was still strapped down and my body felt so weak. That dream was so long and real. How long was I asleep? I looked over at a calender. It was August. Two months passed already? I've been here for so long I don't even remember the last time I was home. What was going on here? Then I heard somebody walk in.

It was Tohru...

"Isuzu? Hello again. I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you. My grandfather passed away and I've been to his funeral and I've also been getting ready for school to start. I brought you some chocolate and a CD to listen to. I burned the songs myself. I thought they might make you feel better. If that's okay with you. I hope you're doing fine..." Tohru smiled. I was silent for a while. Then she smiled and bowed and was about to walk out.

"Thank you..." I called to her. She turned around. "And I'm sorry about your grandfather," I said quietly.

"Thank you, Isuzu. I've been lonely for a while and again, I'm sorry for not coming. Momiji and Hiro say hello too. They hope you're doing well," Tohru bowed again. "I'm sorry, Isuzu. I must go now. I'll come by tomorrow, okay?" Tears flowed from her eyes as she forced a smile. She ran out after bowing again. I sighed as I looked out the window.

"So many tragedies, one after another. When will it all end?" I whispered to myself. Then a nurse walked in with a needle.

"We need to run more tests on your blood level. There seems to be something wrong with you digestive system and you seem to not be producing enough blood," the nurse explained. But I was too tired and weak to yell back. I just closed my eyes, ready to fall away into another deep dream. She injected me and my last thought was of Tohru. She seems to be a good person. But I don't deserve any friends like her.

The only friends I've been given are horrible ones who use me. Damn it...I felt my mind fade into the old days, the old days of when Chai and Keiko and I used to be laughing together. I don't miss those days, but I'll never forget them.

**XxxxX**

This dream was of when I started my freshmen year with them. It was so clear. Back then, I was so lost in finding friends, I would have chosen anybody for a friend. But out of all the people, Chai and Keiko chose me. We've been going to school together since first grade. And somehow they could just drop me like that. I thought they were a part of me. I always thought that Keiko and Chai were a part of me.

"Hey Isuzu, nice day to start the first day of school! Finally we're in high school eh? How do you feel now?" Keiko asked as we were walking to school together.

"I feel good," I smiled at her. During my freshmen year, I was at my prime. I was happy, at least I thought I was. Everybody didn't treat me any differently than Keiko and Chai did. I did get in trouble a lot, and I got frequent detentions and even got sent ot the pricipals office many times. But back then, I was so prideful I was proud of getting in touble a lot. Yet deep down, I was screaming inside. Wanting to find a way out.

Day after day, I would come home and feel empty about my day at school. I mean, yeah I had that short adreneline rush when I got in trouble, and that made me think I could do anything I wanted. But then later I'd feel low. It was like taking a mental drug or something. It was just as bad as drugs, I would stay up all night and laugh on the phone with Keiko or Chai. They influenced me to smoke sometimes too. I tried smoking once or twice, but it was horrible so I never did it again.

But Chai smoked when she was depressed. Her and I would skip lunch and study hall to go into the alley and talk. She'd smoke and I'd talk about stuff. Back then, I felt that it was the only way out.

"Wanna go smoke later? I'm feeling down today because my dad tried to kick me but I wouldn't let him, my mom didn't do anything about it," Chai told me.

"Does he kick you often?" I asked.

"Nah, he was just messing around, but I felt he wanted to kick me for real. Still, he's an asshole, but it's good to mooch money off him!" Chai laughed.

Then there was moments with Keiko. Her and I would skip school when my mom was at work. We'd go to my house and watch movies or listen to music all day. We missed school about twenty times. It's a shock that we both passed ninth grade. During the summer, Keiko and I would run away together to escape our parents. We'd go to the grocery store and steal junk food and magazines. We never got caught, but that adreneline rush got to me again.

When my summer sophomore year started up, I developed a crush on this one guy named Kazuo. He had black hair and blue eyes. Yet he smoked and drank, so I thought that to impress him, I had to drink and smoke too. So I asked Chai to sneak me some alcohol to my house before a summer football game.

"You sure about this?" Chai asked as she gave me a black bag with cans inside.

"I'm sure about this. I want to impress Kazuo," I told Chai. Chai sighed and handed me the bag.

"Well then, let's drink up, the football game is in an hour!" Chai smiled as she came into my house. We went to my room and started drinking. We started laughing and yelling around. An hour later we went to the game, staggering the whole way as the sun was setting. When we got there, we bought loads of candy and pop. We laughed all night, and then Kazuo kept looking over at me as I cheered on our winning team.

"Check it out, Isu, your man's checking you out," Chai drunkly nudged me and pointed over to where Kazuo was standing. I kept thinking how hot he looked that night. He was wearing all black and even wore a leather jacket. He was holding his drumsticks and he kept looking at me.

"Go talk to him!" Chai pushed me towards him.

"Okay, okay!" I told her. Then I walked over to him, heart beating fast.

"Hey, Kazuo, I'm Isuzu," I said, trying to sound sober.

"Sup, I've been watching you. You seem pretty cool. I used to think you were just this shy sophomore girl who didn't talk to anyone. But now that I've seen you here, you definently are cool and outgoing. Say, my house is just down the street, wanna drink or something? This game's gettin' boring," he smiled and put his arm around me. He smelled so nice, I couldn't resist.

"Okay, that sounds cool," I smiled and walked off the school grounds with him. That night he brought me into his room and gave me some more beer. He and I drank and we were so stoned, we had no idea what we were doing. He laid me on his bed and started to undress me. I remember ripping off his shirt and we started to make out.

"You sure about this?" he asked. I looked at his physique and smiled.

"Sure, you're hot," I laughed. He smiled and we continued to kiss. We went too far. Way to far that night. The next morning, I awoke sleeping naked next to him. I sat up and felt my head, not remembering a thing but ripping his shirt off. It was clear to me what we had done. I quickly got dressed and ran out, not telling anybody, not even Keiko or Chai about what Kazuo and I did.

_"I feel so alone, you know? But you two are always here for me, right?" _

My "friends" said that, but they never meant it. They never ever meant it. I ended up forgetting about Kazuo and I. He glanced at me once in a while in the halls, but he probably didn't want to remember either.

_"You know we'll be buds forever and ever..." _

My "friends" said this too, they said it all the time. But they never meant it either. Because they ditched me all the time.

_"Okay then, see you after school. We'll talk about your problem later kay?" _

They told me when I told them I was having problems with my mom getting married.

_"So you told us that you feel so alone. What's going on right now at home?" _

They asked and I replied and told them what was going on at home.

_"Well, my mom's getting married right? And well, I just feel so left out because Kagura is too busy to talk to me. And this whole step dad thing, I haven't met him yet, but what if I feel more alone when he comes into the picture?" _

And that did come true. I felt more and more alone when he came into my life.A month passed and it was September. My mother got married and like I said before, that's where my life went downhill.

_"Well, we're in summer school and all, so at least you don't feel so alone because you'll always have us!"_

But they never stuck to that promise. They were just saying that because they thought they probably needed to. Just to use me some more. Just to torment me later on in their lives. Two months into my mother's marrige, that one winter morning came around.

"Damn it, get up for school!" he yelled that horrible winter morning. That's when he raped me.

"What's with you today? You're being all weird and ignoring us," Chai asked that day.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me, I'm just tired," I told her, trying to look like I was tired.

"Well, whatever it is, I'm here to talk to, kay? I really do care. Oh my gosh, yesterday this one guy was flirting with me when I went to the store..." This deep dream I was having now was more of a nightmare. Always a nightmare when I dreamt of Chai and Keiko..

"Why are you quiet today, Isu?" Keiko asked that winter day at lunch.

"Huh? Oh, no reason, I'm just...Tired, that's all," I told her as I smiled.

"You know what, Keiko? I don't think I want to eat today, I think I'll go home because I feel sick," I held my stomach, feeling like I was going to throw up.

"Okay then, get well soon," Keiko waved as I left the lunch room and ran to the office.

"I'm sick," I said to the secretary.

"You want to call your mother?" she asked.

"Sure," I weakly nodded. I felt that sick emotion as I dreamt. This was where my last dream ended. Why was it always this part of my dream? Why? Was I dreaming of when Chai and Keiko first ditched me? It had to be the memory in the back of my mind of when my life turned more and more horrible.

"Mom? Can you come pick me up? I feel sick," I told my mom on the other line.

"Okay dear, I'll be there in a few minutes," she replied then hung up. I told the secretary I would be waiting outside for my mom to come. Then Kazuo came outside.

"Hey, Isuzu. Great night that night when we fucked eh? So you feel up to a date tonight?" he asked. He was a jerk, I suddenly realized this. I glared at him as I slowly backed off.

"I don't want to remember that night, okay Kazuo?" I said calmly.

"Aw come on, we'd be a good couple huh? How about it?" he put his arm around me like he did that one night.

"Get away, I don't want to have anything to do with you. I thought you weren't like that, but that night was a mistake. I was drunk, and so were you," I pushed his arm off me.

"Whoa, don't get violent here hun, I love you!" he grabbed my arm really hard and pulled me into a painful embrace.

"Kazuo! Stop! Get off me!" I tried to push him away.

"Don't make this any harder than this is. There's an attraction here, okay? Don't try to ignore it," he lifted my chin up and forced a kiss on me. I pushed him away.

"My mother's coming to pick me up in a few minutes. Just stay away from me, okay? Forget that night, it was a mistake," I glared at him and walked off, just in time for my mom to pull into the school parking lot. I quickly got in and we went home. As I was home, I was endlessly throwing up.

"I think she's fucking pregnant!" I heard my step dad yell.

"She is not Nobuo, she just probably came down with the flu!" my mother yelled back. I listened to their argument as I lay there in bed. I sighed and threw up some more.

"Damn it, can't you hear her in there?! She's as sick as a pregnant prostitute!" he yelled.

"Don't you dare call my daughter a prostitute! She's a young woman who had dreams and goals. She is not out there getting herself pregnant, okay?!" my mom yelled. A few days later, I was still throwing up. My mother had no choice but to take me in for a check up.

The doctor came in to tell my mother and I what was wrong with me after they ran some tests.

"I'm sorry to tell you two this, but, your daughter's pregnant," the doctor said.

"No...Isuzu? How could this be?" she looked at me and started to cry.

"Mom...I'm sorry..." I told her. A few days passed and I was able to go back to school. But when I walked up to Keiko and Chai they glared at me and walked away.

"Hey, what's the matter? I'm back now, aren't you happy?" I asked, following them to our first class of the day.

"Why wouldn't we be happy you're back?" Chai asked sarcastically.

"Um...Did I do something wrong?" I asked.

"You know what the hell you did, Isuzu!" Keiko turned and yelled at me. I felt a sinking feeling inside of me. Then I felt like throwing up again. Two more girls came into class and bumped into me really hard on purpose.

"Oops, sorry Islut, I mean, Isuzu," one laughed at me. Two more guys came in and rolled their tongues at me, like they wanted to make out or something. Our teacher came in and told us to settle down. Later that day in a different class, Chai threw a note to me.

_Isuzu, _

_if ur gonna keep acting like u don't kno wat's wrong then u can juss kiss my ass, better not say that, you might try and kill yourself like you did last year! hahahahahahha!!! go try that again and this time make sure you dont throw up all the pills you swallow!_

_Love CHAI_

I crumpled up the note and threw it away. Why would she remind me of that time I tried to kill myself? What was wrong with me? I didn't know it back then, but I soon would know during our P.E. class. We were outside in the cold running, since our P.E. teacher was so hard on us, he'd make us run even if it was snowing.

The worse part about running in P.E.? It was completely unsupervised. Mostly everyone in my gym class was ignoring me or glaring at me. I ignored them as I ran alone. Then two jerks ran past me and they were making disgusting make-out noises, then they ran ahead laughing. I stopped running and walked the track instead. Then Kazuo was standing right there with some girl, smoking in the alley. The alley was very close to the racing track.

"Hey, Isuzu. Looks like you missed out on something big. I wouldn't have told anybody that we fucked if you just stayed with me. But guess what? Everybody knows now. Now everybody thinks you're a slut," Kazuo laughed at me.

"What? You told everybody?!" I yelled at him. I ran at him, but the girl pushed me down.

"Stay away from him, I'm his new girl now!" she kicked my leg.

"Have a nice life without me, if that's even possible!" Kazuo laughed. His girlfriend grabbed my hair and pulled it as hard as she could. I stood up and kicked her in the stomach.

"Damn you!" she glared. Kazuo came behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

"How's this feel, hun? Loving it so far? Too bad you won't get any of me anymore!" Kazuo held my arms behind my back as he and his girlfriend drug me behind a shed. Kazuo closed my mouth to drown my screams. At the same time, he was holding me down.

"Do it," he told his girlfriend.

"Right," she laughed. I wondered what they were going to do.

"Since you could be pregnant and since you probably are a tattle-tell, I want to make sure I don't get accused of rape. So here's my goodbye present for you, do it now!" Kazuo yelled at his girlfriend. She nodded and punched me in the stomach.

"Ugh!" I yelled in pain. Kazuo held my mouth again.

"Again!" he ordered. She punched my stomach again, then kicked it. I threw up blood. Kazuo laughed as he held me harder. She punched and kicked me seven more times, until my stomach grew an excrutiating pain inside. I started to bleed down there, worse than if I got my period.

"That'll teach you to mess with Kazuo again!" his girlfriend yelled. Kazuo dropped me to the ground, leaving me to moan in pain. He gently kicked me and laughed before walking away. I cried and cried, bruises on me all over. I never told anybody about that day, ever. I never reported it. I just told the doctors I killed the fetus myself. My mother killed herself months later. I used to sit on my roof and talk to the baby they killed. It would have been nice if she or he had lived.

"Goodbye..." I whispered to the sky. The day after my mother killed herself, I was still tormented by Chai and Keiko. I was also labled a slut too. That's what led me to this life. What led me here, to where I am now.

**XxxxX**

I opened my eyes, feeling hurt, and crying in my sleep. Again I had another horrible dream of the past. But there was a song playing from a small stereo next to my bedside. I wasn't strapped down anymore, but I did have a tracking device on my ankle, from what I could feel. The song, the song was so beautiful.

_**Sometimes I wonder**_

_**If maybe**_

_**Long before we were born **_

_**We shared a life**_

_**Because even when our bodies are far apart**_

_**I can still feel you right beside me in my heart**_

_**Always, always**_

_**I can hear**_

_**A voice calling my name, my name**_

_**Please don't cry**_

_**'Cause I can feel your love**_

_**One day I realized taht the fact we were born seperately**_

_**Is probably why**_

_**We feel s incomplete**_

_**Wishing for the same happiness**_

_**We etch the same wounds in our hearts**_

_**So I'll never forget**_

_**I keep screaming over and over**_

_**Please don't cry**_

_**'Cause I won't leave you alone**_

_**Always, always**_

_**I can hear**_

_**A voice calling my name, my name**_

_**Please don't cry**_

_**'Cause I can feel your love**_

_**I will always, always**_

_**Love you**_

_**I love you, you**_

_**Even if time**_

_**Changes everything**_

_**I will love you**_

_**Sometimes I wonder**_

_**If maybe**_

_**When we're reborn**_

_**We'll share one life...**_

I listened to the beautiful song from the first lyrics to the end. Then I opened my eyes to see Tohru walk in.

"I love that song, and I wanted to burn this song for you on the CD I gave you yesterday. This song is special to me, and I wanted to give it to you because it's almost as if we're sisters. What with out lives beings tragic. Losing our mothers and all. But I wanted to tell you something else for this song. Maybe someday you can give it someone else you feel connected to. If you like it that is," Tohru smiled. I looked at her then at the mini stereo. I nodded at her and shyly replied.

"I do like it..." and somehow, that horrible dream of the past was fading away.

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	10. Asylum

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**Awakened to a new world, Isuzu must decide whether she wants to stay in this place or escape. What will her choice be? Enjoy chapter X.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", and the ending song is "Change", both are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR.

**Chapter Preview**___"Haven't you seen the cuts all over your arm? You have no living relatives and we have reason to protect you from harming yourself. Our job is to protect teenage girls who are suicidal, have mental issues, and have no parents. And you my dear, are suicidal and have no parents," the nurse drabbled on. What the hell was going on?!_

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Isuzu's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::X::**

"**Asylum"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

I listened to the beautiful song from the first lyrics to the end. Then I opened my eyes to see Tohru walk in.

"I love that song, and I wanted to burn this song for you on the CD I gave you yesterday. This song is special to me, and I wanted to give it to you because it's almost as if we're sisters. What with out lives beings tragic. Losing our mothers and all. But I wanted to tell you something else for this song. Maybe someday you can give it someone else you feel connected to. If you like it that is," Tohru smiled. I looked at her then at the mini stereo. I nodded at her and shyly replied.

"I do like it..." and somehow, that horrible dream of the past was fading away. "It's a really beautiful song, but I don't think I deserve it..." I looked down at my palms as I sat in my bed. Tohru gave a sad smile.

"No, Isuzu. You do deserve it. Don't ever think you don't deserve anything good. Okay?" she came over and gently hugged me. My eyes widened and slowly closed, causing small tears to stream down my cheeks and onto Tohru's shoulder. I slowly hugged her back, not knowing what else to do. I've never been hugged like this since my mother was alive.

"Th-thank you...Tohru..." I felt as if I could trust her. She didn't brush off my problems like Keiko or Chai did. And she didn't call me names or assume things about me. "You're my first real friend, and I do feel like I'm a part of you and you're a part of me," I whispered. She broke the hug and nodded. She wiped away her tears.

"I'm glad, Isuzu, I'm glad we met. It's almost like destiny. I hope you can find a better life once you are released from here. So if you meet another person like me, give them that song. I want you to share if with others, because I want you to meet a lot of new friends," Tohru turned away. "I have to go cook some dinner now, tonight's my night to cook. I'll come see you tomorrow, okay? Have a nice sleep tonight," she bowed and waved before walking out.

I smiled and laid back down and thought about a good life. I thought about my illusions, of having a good life. Maybe in an alternate reality, I do have a good life. Who knows? But I'd probably have to take it a step at a time. I closed my eyes and faded into a good dream for once.

**xXxXxXx**

"Miss Isuzu? Miss Isuzu? Wake up now, it's time for breakfast." What? Who's saying this? I slowly opened my eyes to a white ceiling. Everything smelled different, not like the hospital. It smelled of plastic and newly washed bed sheets. I slowly looked to my side and saw a nurse standing there. I blinked twice. I was in a whole new place. Did they remove me from the hospital into another one?

"Wh-where...Where am I?" I slowly asked.

"It's been two days since they moved you from the hospital, hasn't it? You haven't woken up since then. We've been having to feed you from an IV, but the doctors said you'd wake up today, so we were hoping you'd wake up. You did, and it's breakfast time!" the nurse smiled an annoying smile.

"But where am I now?" I glared as I rubbed my head.

"What? They never told you that you were to come here after you healed a little? Oh my goodness, dear, you don't know do you? You're in an adolescent asylum," the nurse smiled again. I didn't get it. An asylum? What the hell was she saying? Was I psycho or something?

"What?! An asylum? Did the doctors think I was crazy or something?!" I glared at her.

"Oh, no the doctors were about to release you, but you were suggested to our facilities by a counselor by the name of Doctor Mari Asaka. She's spoken with you before, correct?" the nurse asked. Damn her, that damn counselor that I yelled at that one time. She freaking told them I should be here? That meant she was the one who thought I was crazy!

"Might I ask why I'm here? She isn't my legal guardian, so why do I have to be here?" I asked.

"Honey, haven't you seen the cuts all over your arm? And your parents are deceased, are they not? You have no living relatives and we have reason to protect you from harming yourself. Our job is to protect teenage girls who are suicidal, have mental issues, and have no parents. And you my dear, are suicidal and have no parents," the nurse drabbled on. What the hell?! What was going on here?!

"Why couldn't they just put me in another foster home?!" I yelled at her.

"You have a history of running away, don't you? So the counselor didn't reccommend foster care. When you turn eighteen, you're a legal adult and you have the choice of leaving here and getting medical attention or the choice of staying here forever if you like the way we do things here," she smiled and helped me stand up.

I looked around my room. It was the size of a normal bed room, but the doors were pure transparent and had metal and electrical locks on it. Everything was plastic. Absolutely everything in this stupid asylum. The lights were dim, making the whole place look gloomy.

"Now then, dear. It's time for breakfast, then it'll be time for your shower," the nurse took a key and opened the door and then closed it and held my arm. She led me down a long, wide hallway and into a huge cafeteria. About hundreds of other girls my age or slightly younger were walking around getting their lunch trays. About four dozen guards stood watch at every corner. The lunch ladies were equipped with weapons, apparently in the past, they have had problems during lunch hours.

"Now, you can sit with those girls over there. They're pretty nice to new girls. Or you can sit with the advisors and counselors. They sit way over there where most of the guards are standing, your choice," the nurse smiled at me and gently nudged me to go forward. I looked at all the girls. Most of them were staring at me. It was like it was a jail or something. Everybody was wearing white and the room was cold and gloomy. I looked back but the nurse lady was gone. I slowly walked down the aisle of lunch tables as girls stared at me.

Every table I passed, that table got quiet. Girls started to whisper about me as I crossed my arms and walked by.

"Have any idea who she is?" One girl asked once I passed.

"Don't know, she's new to me." The other girl replied. I felt chills down my back as I finally got to the lunch trays. I picked up a tray and slid it down the little sliding thing. The mean looking lunch ladies slapped some mashed potatoes on my tray and then some chicken looking things. The last thing they gave me as I went through the line was a lame little carton of chocolate milk. Probably worse than school food.

I nodded and looked around for a place to sit. Most of the girls looked like they wanted to kill me. The other girls looked like they were feeling sorry for me. I sighed and sat down at an empty table. Then I pinched myself to make sure I wasn't in a nightmare or something. It hurt, so that meant I was awake.

"Damn it..." I whispered to myself. How the hell did I end up here anyway?! That question kept sparking my mind over and over and over again. I quickly ate the gross food and guzzled my nasty milk. Then I put the tray in a basket that read "TRAYS". What kind of asylum was this? It was gross smelling and cold and gloomy. Blue and grey chipped paint everywhere. It smelled of plastic and I don't know, it just smelled.

I walked toward a guard. He glared down at me and raised his eyebrow.

"Um, what am I suppose to do now?" I asked.

"Where's your advisor?" he meanly asked.

"My advisor? The nurse told me that I would have to eat lunch then take a shower. So is there a certain schedule or something" I asked, feeling tears well up in my eyes.

"Hm...Your advisor needs to keep track of you. You're new aren't you? Every girl here has a group and an advisor of the group. Go ask someone," he pointed to the table where the grown-ups sat. I sighed. Not more grown-ups and counselors. They were no help at all. I nodded at the guard and made my way to the table. They looked up at me.

"Why hello, dear. I haven't seen your face here before. Are you new?" one lady asked.

"I guess. Um, where am I suppose to go now?" I asked.

"Did you eat?" she wondereed. I nodded yes. She stood up.

"Who's your advisor?" once again, that annoying question was asked.

"I don't know," I replied.

"Hm, that's a problem. Well, no worries. We'll take you to the main office. They'll sort you into a group," the lady smiled and stood up to lead me out of the cafeteria. I was still in a daze. Still confused. Where the heck would I end up? Would I end up having to live here forever? She led me down a long and wide hallway and then we turned a corner and came upon some stairs. She went up them and I followed. A few stair cases later we came to a door that read "MAIN OFFICE".

"Here we are, hun. Now, let's go in and you'll tell them you're new and tell them your name," she smiled and gently pushed me in. Two secretary ladies looked up at me.

"Good afternoon, this is a new girl and she doesn't know who her advisor is," the lady explained. I nodded.

"Very well then, bring her in here," a heavy-set lady said at the desk. She brought me into another room. She sat me down on a cold silver chair. I was shivering. The room I was in now was dark and gloomy like this whole facility was.

"Wait here and I'll go get the main advisor," the heavy-set lady closed the door hard. I sat and waited and looked around. There were pictures of a family on the desk. The chair looked like it was from the seventies and the wallpaper was ripped in many places. The light was dim and it smelled of an old person. I looked at the wall to my right and there hung some newspaper clippings and one in a frame.

_**HEADLINE NEWS**_

_**Aya Koizumi Finally Opens Facility for Troubled Teenage Girls!**_

_**Article by Hikaru Kakasawa**_

_After Aya Koizumi moved away from her home of seven children, her seven siblings were abused and kidnapped then murdered. Aya vowed to prevent troubled teens like her siblings to face the same fate they have. Now, she has finally finished college and opens a once jail and transforms it into an Adolescent Asylum for Troubled Teen Girls. Now teen girls that age from thirteen to nineteen can shelter here if they are runaways, have no parents or living family or if they have been abused. Counseling is available 24/7 from the highest ranks of counselors from around the country. This facility also doubles as a help house for mentally ill girls or suicidal girls. Guards protect rooms and outside. Everything in this building is electrical and very safe. _

_Article Printed July 27, 2000, _

_Facilty Opened July 20, 2000_

I finished reading the framed article and sighed. So this building has been up for eight years. No wonder there are so many girls here. Just goes to show that the world is full of many troubled runaways and suicidal teens. So this Aya Koizumi is the owner of this dump eh? I stood up and walked over to the window behind the main advisors desk. It was about three stories above the ground. So there was no hope in escaping, at least not now.

But soon I'd have to get out of this asylum. I didn't belong here. I had to find a way out of this asylum, and soon. I just needed to find a way to escape. A clever way. But then again, escapes take planning if you want them to be successful. If I just dive right into escaping, I'll be caught. Just then somebody came in.

"Why hello there, I'm Aya Koizumi, the head advisor of this safe house," she bowed and closed the door behind her. I went back to the seat I was at and sighed at her. She walked behind her desk and sat down. She wore a blue suit and her black hair was held up into a bun. She had a birth mark on her upper lip and her beautiful brown eyes were carefully painted with mascara and hidden behind black, fancy, thick glasses.

But I wouldn't let her friendly appearance get the best of me. I would escape here without getting close to anybody. Especially the founder of this safe house.

"Now then, the secretaries tell me that you were not assorted into a group or given an advisor. Tell me your name," she smiled and took out a lap top.

"Um, Isuzu," I told her quietly. She typed something in and waited a few seconds.

"Ah, Isuzu, our newest member. Now then, you're here for suicidal reasons and you're an orphen. Hm...It says that you are also a runaway and you're only seventeen years old. Would you like to talk about some of this?" Aya smiled, showing her white teeth. It was hard to believe she was in charge of this dump of a teen asylum. She was so clean cut and this whole building was crappy.

"I...My step father was killed and my mother commited suicide. I ran away because...I was abused. And I wanted to kill myself to leave this hellish world," I openly said. Why was I being so open with this woman? Was it that she resembled...My sister, Kagura?

"I'm sorry to hear that. But you know here in this facility, you're safe now. Away from pain and peer pressure. But I wanted to ask you something. Do you feel uncomfortable here?" she asked. Why was she asking me this?

"What do you think?! This is all new to me, and in just some short weeks my whole life was taken away from me! Of COURSE I'm uncomfortable here! I don't know anyone here and every girl I've seen so far looks like they want to kill me!" I yelled at her.

"Well, I'm sorry you feel this way, Isuzu. But we do offer counseling--" I cut her off.

"Everywhere I've been counselors have been thrown at my face! I'm sick and tired of people trying to shrink me! There's nothing that can take away my pain, the horrible pain I've been through in the past year. Nobody can replace my sister who left me. Nobody can replace my mom. Nobody can take away my memories...Nothing can help me. So why can't everybody just leave me alone and let me die?!" I yelled louder. What came over me? Then she typed something into her lap top.

"Your advisor is Akira Kuchiki. But she's a level one advisor, she hardly has counseling skills. Basically a student counselor who is just out of college. I want to see you every day from now on. I'll offer some serious help to you and I'll help you meet some new girls. There are some girls here like you. Wanting to die. Wanting to leave this world. Some have been abused. Some have been sexually harrassed. But I want you to know you're not alone, okay, Isuzu?" Aya smiled and stood up.

Why was everybody ignoring me?! Why didn't they ever listen to me?! WHY?!

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	11. Escape: Part I

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**I apologize for the long delay of this fic. School is starting up again and I've been busy planning my schedule out and hardly have time to get on my computer. I hope you forgive me and continue to send in your lovely reviews! They make me happy. As Isuzu lives a day in the asylum, she wants so badly to escape. Luckily, she meets someone who just might be able to fufill her wish of escaping. Enjoy chapter XI.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", and the ending song is "Change", both are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR.

**Chapter Preview:**_Could this be my opportunity to escape? Like, not having to plan everything out, but using this girl to do the planning for me? It could benefit for the both of us!_

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Isuzu's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::XI::**

"**Escape: Part I"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

"Your advisor is Akira Kuchiki. But she's a level one advisor, she hardly has counseling skills. Basically a student counselor who is just out of college. I want to see you every day from now on. I'll offer some serious help to you and I'll help you meet some new girls. There are some girls here like you. Wanting to die. Wanting to leave this world. Some have been abused. Some have been sexually harrassed. But I want you to know you're not alone, okay, Isuzu?" Aya smiled and stood up.

Why was everybody ignoring me?! Why didn't they ever listen to me?! WHY?! I just couldn't figure out why. Everybody I've met just brushes me off or ignores me. Well...Except for Tohru. She never ignored me nore did she ever brush my problems off. I stood up and looked this Aya person in the eye. I couldn't find it in my heart to yell at her because she resembled my sister, Kagura so much.

"Miss Aya, thank you so much for your advice. And I'm sorry I blew up on you a few minutes ago. I would much very like to talk to you every day. You seem nice. Now can I go back and sleep now?" I asked, doing my best to feign a good girl face. If I was to escape from here, I'd have to do it with stelth. I'd have to make every advisor here--not to mention the guards and lunch ladies--think that I'm a good girl with no problems. Then when they least expect it, they'd take their eye off me and that way, I'd be able to make my escape somehow.

Careful planning and organizing is what it would take though...I just needed time to figure things out first.

"Thank you for listening, Isuzu. Now I don't think you'd be able to get back to sleep, since it's time for your shower. See, every group here has a special schedule. Every advisor is different so depending on the advisor, that determines what your group does for the day. And since I'll be your advisor for a while, I'll decide what we do after your shower. Understand?" this Aya was a little annoying. It was almost like she acted as if she owned the whole world.

"I understand," but I had to stick with my good girl act if I watned out of here. I sweetly smiled and stood up the same time she did. She bowed to me and pushed a button on her desk. A few minutes later, a guard came in.

"Reporting in, ma'am," the guard bowed.

"Guard? I would like you to escort Miss Isuzu here to the showers," Aya adjusted her glasses and smiled at me and the guard.

"Yes, ma'am, will do," the guard bowed again and took my arm. I followed him out the door. He looked straight ahead as he held my arm.

"Um...What's your job here like?" I tried to sound all nice and interested, to make a good first impression, so at least one guard so far wouldn't suspect me of wanting to escape.

"I've worked here for seven years. I'm a good friend of Aya Koizumi. It was all right here at first, when most of the girls coming in were just homeless or runaways. Now that the times are changing, too many violent teens have been taken in here. Me and some other guards have had to break up countless physical fights lately. Overall, I'd say this job is okay. But not good. The only reason I work here is because of the high pay," the guard finished and was silent most of the way down the hall. I sighed and thought of another question.

"So what's the deal with the lunch ladies having to carry weapons?" He looked at me for a second and sighed.

"A couple years ago, two twins who murdered their mother were sent to us because juvenile jails were too harsh for them. But when we least expected it, during lunch, one of the twins grabbed one of the lunch ladies by the throat and threatened to choke her to death. Her twin sister tried to beat up the other lunch ladies but we guards came in time before things came to a life and death situation. Those two twins recently turned eighteen and were sent to real prison. Now, because of them, the lunch ladies are more alert and carry clubs on their belts," he sighed and we turned a corner.

"I want to ask one more thing, why isn't this facility a little cleaner? And why is it so gloomy here? I mean, if the head advisor, Aya has enough money to install electrical security, then shouldn't she have enough money to hire some people to clean this place? And possibly put in more lights and paint this place a brighter color?" We stopped as soon as I asked him this question. He raised his eyebrow.

"You sure do ask a lot of questions, don't you? Well, you're new here, so I guess it's not your fault you're so curious. Anyway, the female guards are waiting outside the shower stalls. They give you ten minutes to shower and then they hand you a towel. Afterwards, I'll be standing out here and escort you back to Aya," the guard bowed and pointed me towards these glass doors. I slowly walked in and two female guards were standing there as they watched me walk past. I came upon an empty stall and a female guard told me to go in. I nodded and quickly took a shower.

As I washed, I thought about how to escape again. I'd have to be extremely careful about the planning and stuff, considering this stupid place was under heavy watch. Once I was done, the female guard escorted me out and I was given new white clothes. Then that male guard I was talking to earlier, who said he would meet me when I was done with my shower was standing there waiting for me.

"Okay then, off to Aya." He took my by the arm and led me upstairs. I kept thinking about what I asked him before my shower. I asked him why they don't make this place any cleaner.

"Um, you never really answered my question, sir. If Aya has enough money for electrical security, shouldn't she have enough for hiring some cleaners or janitors or something?" I asked again. He sighed.

"Look, asking a lot of questions around here could get you into deep trouble. Some of these guards are rough and don't handle these girls the way they're suppose to. So I suggest you keep quiet most of the time, okay?" Just as he finished telling me this, Aya came out of her office.

"Guard? I trust you're handling Miss Isuzu here with care and not telling her lies?" she smiled a kind of creepy smile.

"Yes ma'am, Aya. She is in good hands. I'll leave her to you now. Good day." He bowed and before walking off, he looked at me as if to tell me something, but couldn't out loud.

"Shall we start our first session together, Isuzu?" Aya smiled at me and took me into her office. There was something going on in this facility, other than the dirtiness. And I should be the one to find out just before my escape was to take place.

During my first counseling session with Aya, she kept staring off into space a lot, as if she was hiding something. She wouldn't look me directly in the eye ever since that guard told me about the other guards. If she'd ask me a question, I'd answer with one word. She seemed to be getting annoyed by me, as if I were on to her about something.

"Look, Miss Isuzu. Here in our facilities, we want to keep teen girls safe. We want them to feel at home and to be as if they are all sisters to one another. I don't know what that guard told you, but I want to reassure you that there is nothing wrong with our facilities. Clean or not, this is a safe place for you runaways," she gave me a stern look and sighed as she relaxed her tense shoulders. I shrugged, keeping my cool.

"I know, but I was just wondreing something. The electrical security in this adolescent asylum, why is it so high? I mean, has anybody ever tried to get in? Or are you just afraid somebody might escape?" I wanted to spark something in Aya, to see the fear in her eyes that she was hiding something and that I would find out someday.

"Isuzu, you are a mere seventeen year old who is lost. Your family died and you have nobody to turn too. I suggest you keep quiet about things and just do as we say. I'll continue offering counseling to you, then you'll realize that this place isn't such a bad place, okay?" She nodded and stood up. "Now then, Isuzu. It's lunch time then you'll get a twenty minute free time for some fresh air outside. Enjoy the freedom while it lasts." Aya gave me that creepy smile again and escorted me to the cafeteria.

So that was it then. She gave a sign that she was hiding something about this creepy facility. As I got my lunch, I looked around the cafeteria, just to see if it was possible to make any friends. Every girl still looked like they wanted to kill me though so I sat alone again. Once I was done eating, the guards led the girls who were done eating outside to an opening with a fence around it. I scanned the fences, but there were those electrical shocking things at the top to make sure nobody would climb over. I sighed to myself and let the wind hit my body.

I felt as if I hadn't been outside in years. I leaned against the fence and sat down. Some girls were talking and some were staring over at me and pointing. I looked at the sky, then I breathed in the fresh air.

_"Enjoy your freedom while it lasts," _Aya's voice echoed in my mind. She was definently not the big sister type. There was something creepy about this whole place. Then four girls came walking up to me just as soon as the guards went back inside. My heart started to pound.

"Hey there, you tryin' to be a rebel or something? It ain't workin'," A tall and big girl said down at me.

"Um...Not really..." I said to her, calmly.

"Get up and prove you're meant to be here. 'Cuz we don't like little skinny girls who think they're all pretty to be here, makin' us all look bad!" She pulled me up by my collar and pushed me against the fence.

"Give her pretty face a good beatin' Hoshi!" A smaller girl air punched and laughed at me.

"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea to me! Heh! Okay then, get ready for a serious face lift, princess!" She held out her chubby fist and was about to swing it at me. But then a girl yelled at them.

"Hoshi, calm down there. You don't wanna get strapped down in the soft room tonight again do you?" A tall and blond girl walked over and crossed her arms.

"Get out of here, Uotani, this is none of your business!" The big girl about to punch me turned and yelled at the blond girl.

"No, but it'll be Aya's if you don't leave her alone. Remember the last time you beat up a newbie?" Was this Uotani girl trying to save me or the big girl from getting into trouble? Either way, hopefully it'd get me out of some more pain to my body.

"Ugh...Uotani, why do you always have to ruin everybody's fun?!" The big girl let go of me and gave me one last push before walking off with her group. I sighed with relief.

"Hey you, you all right?" the tall blond asked.

"Um...Yeah, I'm fine. Why did you do that?" I asked.

"I didn't do it for you, kid. I did it for myself. I'm tryin' to make myself look good for the survelliance cameras out here. See one over there by the doors? And then there's a hidden one beneath those electrical fences. Then there's another one on the roof that scans the free grounds where us girls have our fresh air," she pointed nodded her head to all the cameras she just talked about, without pointing at them.

"What do you mean you're trying to make yourself look good for the cameras?" I curiously asked. She shrugged.

"I wanna get out of this hell joint. It's no good for me or my health. It's a damn killer here, can't stand most of these girls. All they ever do is fight, fight, fight. Nobody ever gets along here. And all the damn advisors don't help at all. They just attempt to counsel you, then they brush you off. Then name's Arisa Uotani. Everybody here calls me Uotani." She patted my back real hard and smiled.

"Um...I'm Isuzu. So you're saying you're trying to escape?" I asked.

"Don't you dare tattle on me, or you will get a face lift, and not from that big chic, Hoshi, but me. But hey, you seem all right. This is your first day here, right? Yeah, I've been trying to escape and I've been planning for two years." This Uotani girl shrugged.

Could this be my opportunity to escape? Like, not having to plan everything out, but using this Uotani girl to do the planning for me? It could benefit for the both of us!

"Two years in here? No wonder you seem calm about things. And no wonder you know where all the cameras are. So um, is there any way to let me escape with you too?" I lamely asked.

"Hm...I'll have to see what Hanajima says." Uotani shrugged.

"Hanajima?" I wondered.

"Yeah, Saki Hanajima. She's a the psychic badass of this joint. Every girl's afraid of her beacuse of her 'powers'. That's the only reason she's here for is her electric waves," Uotani laughed.

"Um, electric waves?" I scratched my head.

"Yeah, Hanajima was born with this brain power type thing. So mysteriously, she can shock people with these badass waves and all she has to do is hate them with all her heart, then she can punish them easily. She has to be put in a special room though, where the guards can watch her during the day. But I go in her room and we talk and stuff and we've planned to escape for two years. Trouble is, there hasn't been a thunder storm bad enough to knock out the damn power system here." Uotani went on and sighed.

"You mean the electrical security?" I asked another dumb question. But Uotani didn't seem to mind.

"Yeah, our main kick off for the escape plan, is to make our run for it when the power is out. That way, the electrical gates and stuff won't be working and we can run into town and just keep runnin'. Sadly, the sky's been clear for a while now," Uotani sighed sadly.

"Hm, well when you do check it with that Hanajima friend of yours, make sure to tell me if it's okay or not. Because I'm thirsting to get out of this place. It's trashy, and dirty." I sighed.

"What? You're worried about just the dirtiness of this dump? I could care less about how the head advisor cleans this place, just as long as Hanajima and I make our escape. Hm...Maybe having you with us can benefit too. Like, if there is an electrical strom that knocks our the power, then one of us can be the fighter, another can be the brains, and we'll need a destraction too," Uotani smiled.

"As in?" I crossed my arms.

"As in, for example, if and when we take our escape plan into motion, Hanajima and be the brains and shock people if she must as we run downt he halls. And I can fight some girls who are thirsty for a fight if they happen to want to escape too, you know what I mean? And you can be a destraction. Like, I don't know, you can insult a girl if she gets in our way of our escape and she can try and beat you up and you can run off and we'll snag her and beat her up then catch up to you! It's all perfect!" Uotani air punched and laughed.

I really didn't get her plan, but as long as I would get out of here, then it was all fine with me. All we had to do, was wait for a big thunder storm to approach and cross our fingers for the power to go out.

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait until the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	12. Escape: Part II

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**Back again from several of days of not posting. Anyway, my homework is piling on. It's stressful and stuff, and well, anyway, I wanted to thank "..." for your anonymous review. It was really long. Haha. Well, you're not too far off of what you think the asylum is. You'll find out in this chapter. Enjoy chapter XII.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", and the ending song is "Change", both are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR.

**Chapter Preview:**_People are dying to belong, dying to escape, and dying to forget their hurtful pasts. But no matter what, that hurt will always be there. Yet isn't there a way to escape? A way to forget it all? To leave it all behind? Isn't there a way to start over? There had to be. But it seemed this asylum wasn't the best place. This is why I wanted so badly to escape. _

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Isuzu's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::XII::**

"**Escape: Part II"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

"What? You're worried about just the dirtiness of this dump? I could care less about how the head advisor cleans this place, just as long as Hanajima and I make our escape. Hm...Maybe having you with us can benefit too. Like, if there is an electrical strom that knocks our the power, then one of us can be the fighter, another can be the brains, and we'll need a destraction too," Uotani smiled.

"As in?" I crossed my arms.

"As in, for example, if and when we take our escape plan into motion, Hanajima and be the brains and shock people if she must as we run downt he halls. And I can fight some girls who are thirsty for a fight if they happen to want to escape too, you know what I mean? And you can be a destraction. Like, I don't know, you can insult a girl if she gets in our way of our escape and she can try and beat you up and you can run off and we'll snag her and beat her up then catch up to you! It's all perfect!" Uotani air punched and laughed.

I really didn't get her plan, but as long as I would get out of here, then it was all fine with me. All we had to do, was wait for a big thunder storm to approach and cross our fingers for the power to go out.

**Two Months Later**

Unfortunatly, the power never went out. There hasn't been one damn storm since I've been locked in this dirty dump. But I did meet Saki Hanajima. She seemed really dark and yet gentle. Like, she'd protect those closest to her, and she'd shock anybody who messed with her friends or her. Kind of awesome actually.

It was lunch time and I sat down at a table with Uotani and Hanajima. Today was nasty mystery meat day. Everybody always seemed to get sick on those days, so I always threw away my mystery meat. I could start to feel my ribs showing more and more, considering they didn't feed us much.

"Check it out, a newbie!" Uotani pointed to a girl walking in. Or was it a guy? It kind of looked like a girl, but we couldn't tell for sure. She--erm, at least I think so--was tall and had long auburn hair. Her brown eyes stood out and she wore a strange bow to hold back her hair.

"Wonder who that is." I gave a strange look at Hanajima and Uotani. They both shrugged and sipped their soup of the day.

"I sense something odd about that person. She seems off," Hanajima squinted and stared at the strange girl.

"Damn, it's walking over to our table. Act all tough and maybe that 'shim' will ignore us," Uotani laid back in her seat. But it didn't work. That person started getting closer then sat by us.

"Um, hello there. Do you mind if I sit here?" She asked, setting down her tray.

"Wadda you think?! I'm a juvenile and can kick your ass in a second! Of COURSE I mind if you sit here! Now move it, you shim!" Uotani held back her chuckles. I looked at the person. Her appearance was odd. Very odd.

"I'm sorry...I'm Ritsu, please forgive me for bothering you. I'm new and just wanted to see if I could find a friend..." This Ritsu person looked a little nervous. Okay, she looked VERY nervous.

"Your waves are strange..." Hanajima said out of nowhere. Uotani and I both looked at her.

"Huh?" This Ritsu person looked at us both wide eyed.

"You are rather strange. I knew something was off about you. You're not one of us...Are you?" Hanajima sighed and sipped her water. Ritsu started to blush. I was beginning to get pissed.

"Look, um, Ritsu, you're freaking us out so why don't you just go sit somewhere else. Kay?" I finally blurted out.

"Um...Oo-oo-okay...then..." Ritsu started to sob small sobs. Was she crying?

"What the hell's the matter with you? You're acting like a baby, you shim!" Uotani yelled out.

"Forgive me, once again. But your gothic friend is right. I'm not one of you. I'm...I'm...I am a--" Just before Ritsu was about to tell us something, two girls rammed into her and pushed her down to the hard, dirty floor.

"Watch where you're going you mutant!" One girl laughed at her.

"Yeah, go back to the transgender hospital, if that even exsists!" Another dumb girl laughed.

"Beat it!" Uotani gave them a scary look. They quickly walked away. Ritsu stood up, tears streaming from her big eyes.

"I'm sorry...Forgive me--" Uotani cut her off.

"Look, would you stop saying 'forgive me' over and over?! It sure damn is annoying. Anyway, what the hell were they talking about? Are you--" Hanajima cut Uotani off.

"She is a he. _He _does not belong here." Hanajima stood up and crossed her arms.

"Oh no...I didn't want anybody to know this. I'm really, really sorry. Please don't tell anybody or...Or...I'LL JUST DIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ritsu yelled as loud as he could. Was he having a spaz attack?!

"Whoa! Calm the frick down, retard!" Uotani yelled, standing up from the table and placing her hands on his shoulders. Ritsu started to cry harder. A guard came over.

"What's going on here?!" he yelled at us.

"Sorry, he--I mean, she was having a spaz attack." Uotani told the guard.

"Hm, then this must be Ritsu, another new girl. I see now..." I wondered what the guard was getting at?

**xXxXxXx**

"Damn, so you think you're a girl but really you appear as a guy? That sounds like bull crap to me. So tell me then, Ritsu. Why were you sent here in the first place?" Uotani, Hanajima and I were outside for our twenty minute stroll time in the fences. After lunch, the guard told us to go outside and also told Ritsu to tell us her--erm, his story.

"Because my mother thinks I am mentally ill. But she is the same way, so it doesn't make sense to me why she shouldn't be here too. I always used to think I was a girl when I was younger. But in school, the boys would tease me when we changed in the locker room. They'd say stuff like, 'shouldn't you be in the GIRLS room?!' then they'd all laugh. I felt bad because I wasn't allowed in the girls room. Because everybody thought I was crazy..." Ritsu sobbed a little. "And...I also have a lot of mood swings and spaz attacks. It's strange, because there's nothing I can do about it..." Ritsu's tears slowly fell down his cheeks.

"So um, yeah, that sucks, but you are probably crazy but you just don't realize it. It is kind of wrong to think that you're a girl in the wrong body. I saw a movie about that once and boy, was it jacked up. You're freakin' who you are, and there's nothing you can do about it. If you have man parts, you're a male! If you have woman parts, you're a female! Get it?! No offense, but you have got your facts mixed up!" Uotani yelled out and sighed.

"I believe she is just confused. She wants to be a girl, but she can't. Would it be all right if I called you a she?" Hanajima polietely asked.

"That would be...Wonderful...And I know it's strange, but I always have wanted to be a girl. I grew my hair long and wore girl clothes all the time. It feels great to be pretty!" Ritsu smiled. Another mood swing, eh?

"By the way, I'm Saki Hanajima. This here is Arisa Uotani. And this is Isuzu...Our newest friend here." Hanajima gave a brief smile as she introduced us. I crossed my arms, still thinking about wanting to escape this damned place.

"Yes...I know your names already..." Ritsu sighed.

"What'd you say?!" Uotani took it the wrong way. She held her fist out to Ritsu.

"Um...Um! Wait! What I meant was that I already know your names because..." Ritsu hesitated to answer.

"Because what?! You think you can come here and just randomly say you know our names! Maybe you're PRETENDING you want to be a girl so you can rape all of us! That's right eh?! Spill what you were gonna say, and I won't rearrange your faec!" Uotani lost her temper.

"Oh my, I shouldn't have said anything..." Ritsu started crying again. What the hell was up with this weird Ritsu person. I mean, he was acting a little strange. Like he knew something we didn't. I mean, how often do you meet a guy who wants so badly to be a girl. And his personality is rather freaking odd. I felt like yelling at him, wanting him to spill like Uotani wanted him to.

"Look, why don't you just calmly tell us what you're up to and maybe we'll spare you." I crossed my arms, giving Ritsu a pissed look. I guess he got the message, because his expression turned from scared to cooperative.

"Okay...Okay...But you three have to promise you won't do anything drastic. You have to stay calm. Tonight, I'll tell you everything...All that I saw a couple of days ago here in this asylum. Meet me in the corner table during dinner tonight. I'll explain everything. First, promise me you won't do anything drastic..." Ritsu sighed.

"We ain't promisin' you anything, pretty boy--" Hanajima placed her hand on Uotani's shoulder, Uotani looked at her and stopped her sentence. Hanajima spoke up.

"Arisa, I have a strong feeling we should listen to what Ritsu has to say about this. I think we should promise her that we shouldn't do anything rash. Trust me." Hanajima dropped her hand to her side. Uotani hesitated a little. Then she sighed hard and crossed her arms.

"Damn it...Fine then. But I'm only doing this because Hanajima is never wrong about these kinds of things. You'd better not be lying you stalker freak. Or my fist will be the last thing you'll ever see before you're sent to hell!" Uotani turned around, obviously at the edge of killing somebody.

I looked at Hanajima. She nodded at me and we looked at Ritsu. The alarm rang for us to go back inside to our plastic jails.

I laid there through the afternoon, impatiently waiting for dinner to start. I hated this, a whole damn two months in this jail and nothing's changed. Everything seems out of place for some reason. Like Hanajima said, there is something strange about this whole thing. About what Ritsu was telling us. Damn it all to hell. If I wanted to get out of here with Uotani's un-official plan, then we'd have to do it if this place really is _that_ fucked up, like Ritsu is acting.

I slowly dosed off as I lay there in the stupid cot. I started to see that Hatsuharu guy in my dreams. Just his face kept coming to mind. Eh, it's not like I'd ever see him again. So why does he keep haunting my mind? My eyes shot open to a nurse coming in with a needle.

"It's time for your lithium. You've been a very good girl this past couple of months. That's a good sign, you may be raised up to the nicer cells on the sixth floor. Who knows?" the nurse took my arm and injected me. Hm, this is the first time I've heard about the "sixth floor". Nicer cells eh? Wonder what girls were sent there. "Now then, Isuzu. It's time for dinner. Let's go now." She gently grabbed my arm and led me to the cafeteria.

Once we got there, I grabbed my dinner and spotted Uotani and Hanajima sitting in the corner table. I slowly walked over like nothing was up.

"I don't trust this stupid Ritsu person. But if you think it's all right, Saki, then I guess I'll trust you," Uotani was talking to Hanajima as I sat down with them. About ten minutes later, Ritsu came walking up to us.

"Talk." Uotani glared at Ritsu. Ritsu nervously sighed and sat by me. "Wait, I have a question..." Uotani's tone suddenly calmed down and she sounded curious. Ritsu sat up straight. "How did they let you in here anyway? I've been wondering this. You're a guy, right? And you dress like a girl, so you look strange. How did the head advisor let you in?" Uotani crossed her arms.

"Well...Um...Actually, the head advisor just thought I was an ugly girl, is what I'm guessing. Everybody's thought I was an ugly girl ever since I started dressing like a girl. I feel so bad now..." Ritsu began to cry. "They used to call me bisexual and somehow, I earned the name, whore, slut, and many other names that didn't apply to me...It hurt...So much..." Ritsu's voice had a strange tone in it. Like he was remembering things so vividly.

Suddenly, memories of my life came pouring back...I thought about everything, everything that got me here. Somehow, I felt like cutting again. But I couldn't, not here in this damn asylum. They'd all think I'm crazy and chain me down again.

_Isuzu is a whore WHO SHOULD DIE!!!!_

_Isuzu did twenty guys, including our male teachers!!!!!!!!_

_Whoever reads dis, do not talk to Isuzu, she'll hit on you no matter your gender!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_ISUZU IS A SLUT_

_Isuzu the Prostitute..._

_Isuzu should die_

_Isuzu fucked every guy!!!!!!!!!!!_

My mind shot back to reality. I was remembering all those writings on the bathroom door at my old school. Damn it. Damn Keiko and damn Chai. I can remember as I walked through those halls, hearing Chai say "ew" was annoying, I had to hold myself back from killing her. Yet I cried. How did she have so much power over me, even though I was so far away from her? And Keiko, she used to be so fun to be around, sometimes she'd be depressed and yet she now hates me.

"Isuzu? You okay?" Uotani snapped me out of it.

"Oh, yeah...I'm fine. What were you saying, Ritsu?" I looked at Ritsu.

"I was just saying how much it hurt to be called a whore for no reason. And to be made fun of because I was different..." As Ritsu talked, I still couldn't fully snap myself from reality. I kept hearing voices in my head from the past. From random people. Those words hurt so much.

_"Look at her hair! And her clothes! She is such a slut!"_

_"Omigosh, did you hear what she did with that one guy last weekend?! She FUCKED him!"_

_"Do you think she's pregnant?"_

_"Probably..."_

"They made fun of me because I wanted to be a girl. They made fun of me for no reason. They called me ugly..." Ritsu continued. Yet my mind also continued.

_"Isuzu is so ugly, guys just fuck her because they know she's easy!"_

_"Yeah, plus nobody would pay her even if she let them fuck her!"_

I looked at Uotani and Hanajima. They looked down as if they felt bad. I looked at Uotani. She had this deep look in her eyes, like she too, had a painful past. Then I glanced at Hanajima. Even though that dark look in her eyes was still there, I could see a sadness in there too. Like she was missing something in her life.

Then I looked at Ritsu. People are dying to belong, dying to escape, and dying to forget their hurtful pasts. But no matter what, that hurt will always be there. Yet isn't there a way to escape? A way to forget it all? To leave it all behind? Isn't there a way to start over? There had to be. But it seemed this asylum wasn't the best place. This is why I wanted so badly to escape.

"Please, tell us what you saw. Tell us, Ritsu, tell us what you saw in this asylum. Tell us why you know our names..." I slowly started out. Wanting to escape this badly...

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	13. Escape: Part III

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**Once again, I would like to thank "…….." For your review. Love them, they are so long. And anyway, a shim is just a word I made up that means a she and a him put together. Random, I know, but I thought it was something Uotani would say. Haha. Thanks to you too, RinHaru4Ever and Niquie, love you guys! Anyway, enjoy chapter XIII. (Hopefully...)

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", and the ending song is "Change", the insert song is "Sweet Escape"

all three are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR.

**Chapter Preview:**_This was all unrealistic...Everything was changing, everything was moving so fast. It's as if this was all one big nightmare. But I'd risk anything to escape this nightmare once and for all like I have my other nightmares._

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Isuzu's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::XIII::**

"**Escape: Part III"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

I looked at Ritsu. People are dying to belong, dying to escape, and dying to forget their hurtful pasts. But no matter what, that hurt will always be there. Yet isn't there a way to escape? A way to forget it all? To leave it all behind? Isn't there a way to start over? There had to be. But it seemed this asylum wasn't the best place. This is why I wanted so badly to escape.

"Please, tell us what you saw. Tell us, Ritsu, tell us what you saw in this asylum. Tell us why you know our names..." I slowly started out. Wanting to escape this badly. Ritsu took a deep breath and looked around, as if he didn't want anybody to hear.

"I know that this is all happening so quickly. But I know something about this place..." Ritsu hesitated. Uotani was on the verge of losing her temper again.

"Damn it you shim! Just spit it out, quit tryin' to be all mysterious and turn this whole thing into a dumb suspense thing." Uotani sighed hard. But she did have a point. Ritsu did need to spit it out.

"Okay, okay...I'm sorry, it's just...What I saw was unbelievable. When I first came here, which was a couple of days ago, I got lost and found myself in some sort of basement. It's hard to explain, but...I'll do my best. In that basement...I saw girls...Dozens of girls...Laying on these strange cot-like things..." Ritsu swallowed hard.

"Go on..." Hanajima darkly said.

"Well...At first I thought it was just a room to rest or something. But then, the girls did look odd. They were naked and had IV's in them. And the thing I noticed most was that each of the girls had cuts all over their arms and wrists. I was shocked and I made my way through the dark room and found some files. They were files of all the girls here. From curiosity, I went through some random files and stumbled upon yours, Isuzu's," Ritsu's words made my heart lurch.

"What the hell? That doesn't explain how you know mine and Hanajima's name." Uotani stated.

"Well, here's the strange part. The file said that Isuzu talks to Arisa Uotani and Saki Hanajima the most. There were pictures of you three. It also said Isuzu has had no other contact whatsoever with any other girl in the asylum. But what strikes me as odd is that, why were there girls in that place? Why did they look so pale and why were they naked? And also, what was with those IV's? I started to cry then before I ran out, I threw your file, Isuzu, before I could stand anymore of looking at those girls...It had to be by mere coincidence that I came across that room..." Ritsu looked as if he were hyper ventalating or something.

"Hm...It could be by mere coincidence, or could it be fate? I wonder. It could be just your imagination, Ritsu. Or it could be that those girls were sick and needed special treatment..." Hanajima said.

"But that doesn't explain why they were nude, does it?" Uotani wondered. Then she spoke up again. "That's it, we have to go explore that room you stumbled upon, Ritsu. I'm hungry for lettin' off some steam and to find out what the hell this asylum is hiding. You with me?" Uotani looked at me then Hanajima. Hanajima nodded.

"I guess, but how would we do it? Get down there?" I asked. Ritsu sighed.

"I kind of remember what floor I was on. I was on the first floor, and then went down some stairs when I got lost. We just need to find stairs." Ritsu smiled.

"But this place is being watched by guards twenty-four seven. How would we even get out of our cells?" Uotani asked. Hanajima thought for a bit.

"Hmmm...I could put my electric waves to some use. Even though the medicine they give me lowers my energy, it can't completely erase my waves. I could confuse the guards, but then there's the issue of getting out of our cells. What about group hour? When we go outside with our advisor...No, that wouldn't work, considering it's day time. Hm...This is complicated..." Hanajima closed her eyes after talking.

"Hm...Obviously this is complicated..." Uotani thought for a second. I looked down at my arms. My scabs were healing a little bit. I thought about when I first started to cut. When I punched that mirror at my high school. Cutting. Cutting...Hm...That's it!

"I've got it, you know how we've been all goody-goodies?" I was getting at something.

"Yeah?" Uotani leaned in closer. Hanajima and Ritsu leaned in too, so that nobody would hear us. We huddled at our round table and they were ready to listen to me.

"Well, I could try and get down there somehow. Those girls down there were just like me? Right? They all had cuts on their arms, so maybe, just maybe, if I find a way to cut again, they might send me down there." I knew what I was saying was risky, but I was willing to do it, just to find out why this asylum was so creepy.

"That sounds too risky, you could die, Isuzu. I mean, who knows what the hell these people do to girls. I'm not so sure that this is really even an asylum." Uotani sighed.

"But I'm willing to risk it. I can handle it." I told them. I looked Hanajima and Uotani in the eyes. They both gave me worried looks. Ritsu still looked freaked out. There was a long pause.

"Okay then...We trust you'll be okay. Here, take this." Uotani gave me a razor.

"Uotani? How did you get this?" I asked.

"Been keepin' it in my bra. Kind of funny eh? But these people are too dumb to look there eh?" Uotani laughed.

"Thanks." I nodded. It was time for me to start cutting again. That night, they locked me in my plastic cell and I lay there for about ten minutes, then I raised the razor to my wrist. Memories of cutting came back to me. I began to cut away, blood dripping all over the white floor. I felt tears fall from my eyes, not from sadness, but from the pain of the cutting. I looked at my arm after minutes of cutting. I was satisfied. Now the next day, they would punish me. Hopefully take me to that room.

That night, I drifted off into a deep sleep. I dreamt of...What was his name again?

_Hatsuharu..._

I think that's what it was anyway. I dreamt of that night he saved me from that gang. How we kept running into each other. Ugh! Once again, why am I thinking of him when we'll probably never see each other again. Why am I even thinking of him in the first place? It's not like I know him or anything.

_"You've been abused, I know how that feels..."_

What he said that night. How could he possibly know what I've been through? I did my best to forget about him, but it's hard. He keeps popping up in my mind when I sleep and dream. But I have more things to worry about. Like escaping this damn place.

"Isuzu dear? It's time to wake up now." The nurse's voice gently woke me. I opened my eyes and she took my covers off me.

"Oh my dear, there's blood everywhere!" The nurse yelled. I felt my heart lurch as the memories of yesterday rushed back to me. I looked at my bed, my arms were throbbing and my sheets were covered in blood. "What in the world did you do last night?" the nurse asked.

**xXxXxXx**

"Like I've told you when you first got here, this is a facility for girls who need help. Now we cannot help you unless you cooperate with us. There is severe punishment however, once you do go back to your old ways...The sixth floor..." the head advisor raised her eyebrow.

This was all unrealistic...Everything was changing, everything was moving so fast. It's as if this was all one big nightmare. But I'd risk anything to escape this damn nighmare once and for all like I have my other nightmares. I just shrugged at the head advisor like a smart ass. She just raised her eyebrows. Now this place was beginning to be a lot like high school. Filty people everywhere and adults telling you what to do all the time and giving you dirty looks.

"Very well then, Isuzu. You do realize you will not be able to talk to Miss Hanajima and Miss Uotani anymore, is that clear?" her pretty lips asked.

"Who cares?" I shrugged again.

"Hm...Fine then, I'll send a sixth floor advisor down here for you." She clicked something into her laptop and five minutes of silence later, a man came down. He had a straight jacket.

"What the hell is this? Some insane asylum?!" I let my anger take me over.

"Come on..." the guard grabbed my arm and pulled me out the door and into the elevator. A few floors later, we were there. I wondered what was on the other side of the doors. Once they opened, there was nothing but soft walls everywhere. Dozens of girls had their own cell, much smaller than the one I had before. The girls were all covered with scars on their wrists and hands and even their faces. Some girls were crying and sobbing so hard, it almost made me cry.

What in the world was going on here? What was this place? The guard pushed me in and opened an empty cell for me and made me go in. He locked it and threw the straight jacket at me.

"Now if you act up again, you'll be forced to wear this, not questions asked." And with that, he slammed the door shut and locked it. So this is the sixth floor huh? Well, so much for getting into that room downstairs where Ritsu was. Then I remembered how stupid the head advisor was. She didn't even check to see how I cut myself up.

I pulled out Uotani's razor and started to cut again. But this time, I cut up the straight jacket so I wouldn't have to put it on. I cut and cut and cut, until finally, it just looked like a piece of cloth. Then I began to cut my arms. It was painful, but I could handle it. When they came back to check in on me, they saw my arms had worsened.

I felt faint because of all the blood I had lost. Damn it, I hadn't thought about that. Soon enough, I fainted and when I awoke, everything was dark and I felt cold. I couldn't move my body. What was going on? It was like Deja Vu all over again. Me cutting, fainting then waking up. It was all too familiar. I was able to turn my head though. There was a girl laying by me in a cot, just like the cot Ritsu described. The room was cold and...I was...Naked?

I felt straps all over my body and I was strapped down pretty tight. Damn, they must have taken me down here when I fainted.

"Well, Uotani, Hanajima, Ritsu? I'm down here, now what?" I asked the cieling. I looked to my left and saw another girl, she began to cough and looked over at me. Then I realized something, she was a younger girl. Like, probably eleven or twelve young!

"What the? You're...You're so young...Why...How are you here?" I asked. She coughed again and her golden eyes glistened as tears fell down her cheeks.

"Mom?" She whispered.

"No...I'm Isuzu...How old are you?" I asked.

"Oh...I thought everything was a nightmare again...I thought I'd wake up to my mom again. You're down here too...What did you do?" She asked.

"This is a little awkward, considering we're strapped in beds and both naked...Let me see first if I can get out of these--" She cut me off.

"No! Don't...The guards will hurt you if you try and get out of these..." She cried.

"What do you mean, by _hurt _me? Aren't they suppose to be protecting us?" I asked.

"No...The guards are bad men. They hurt us girls down here because we did bad things. The head advisor lady lets them do it...I saw her...I saw her watch as the guard hurt a girl...I watched...This is a bad place..." The little girl cried. I was still shocked at why a girl her age was here. I mean, didn't the head advisor say this was an Adolescent Asylum?

"How old are you?" I asked.

"I'm going to be thirteen soon...I'm only twelve now...But...I haven't eaten anything in days...They won't let me eat, they say it'll mess up their experiments..." She coughed.

"Experiments? What kind?" Damn, now I knew this place was fucked up.

"They take hurt us...Then they make us sick...Then they...They take our blood with a needle and ship it to the human trafficking place and inject other girls like us to make them sick...It never ends..." What the hell was this? This was definently a fucked up world. And an even more fucked up head advisor.

"How do you know this?" My heart began to pound, hoping nobody would come in here.

"They guard told me when he was hurting me." She sobbed.

"Oh my gosh...What the hell...Tell me your name and how you ended up here..." I wanted even more to kill the advisors and guards here.

"My name is...Kisa...I was sent to a private school and I was kidnapped by these mean guys, and then I was found by the guards who work here and they said this place was safe. But they lied. They are all liars. I want to see my mom again. I miss her...She was so nice to me. So good to me. And I miss her so much...So, so much..." She coughed.

"I'm sorry to hear that...But...We have to get out of here, and now. Tell me how they hurt you, tell me more." I looked at the straps. I began to struggle and soon the straps became a little bit more loose. I continued to struggle.

"No..Don't, they'll find us and hurt us, I don't want you to get hurt like I did. I don't want you to get sick. They hurt me, they get on top of me and...Rape me..." Kisa's sobs grew louder.

"Don't worry, I've been hurt like that before..." I said, trying not to think of my step dad. Then a strap finally came loose. I painfully took my open wounded arms and broke out of the straps. I ripped off the sheets of the cots and wrapped them around myself and got Kisa out of her straps.

"There you go, now don't make a sound. I'll get us out of here, okay?" I tried to stay as calm as I could, but I was so scared, it was very difficult.

Then I unstrapped the other girl and covered her naked body. She seemed sick because she was so pale. She had cuts all over her wrists like I did. I looked at Kisa, she was cut free.

"Why are you down here?" I asked.

"Because...They say that if the inspectors find out I'm here, they'll shut down the asylum. I'm not a teenager..I'm just here because the guards want me to be here." she rubbed her eyes.

"Damn those pigs. No wonder they look at me like that. They think I'm some whore huh? Well they won't get me without a fight. I'll kill them if I have to." I said to myself.

"What did you say?" Kisa looked at me curious.

"Nothing...I was just talking to myself. Now, before we get out of here, let's see what these files say." I opened some drawers in the small dark room and the tiny little lamp was the only thing lighting this room. Then a newspaper article fell out. What the heck? I picked it up and read it.

_**HEADLINE NEWS**_

_**Over Forty Girls Kidnapped In One Day**_

_Just after reports of the Adolescent Asylum opened by Aya Koizumi, girls have been strangly dissappearing, and just today forty girls have been kidnapped and yet the head advisor of her new asylum open, says she knows nothing of the missing girls. Police have searched the asylum and have found none of the missing girls, therefore, the asylum was checked off the list. Is Aya Koizumi hiding something? Aya refused to comment when we interviewed her. No new information found on the missing girls. But here is a list, please contact Nakajima Headline News if you find anything on the following list of girls misisng. We will print the names of ten girls each month, please keep up to date if you recognize any names you read here._

_  
Article printed July 30, 2000_

_**List of girls**_

_Maya Sakura_

_Jun Ako_

_Kina Rima_

_Sakura Kudosawa_

_Mei Ruzona_

_Kira Raven_

_Lynn Okazaki_

_Hitomi Kitsuda_

_Hisa Yagami_

_Misa Yoko_

What the hell? This couldn't be. I remembered the article in Aya Koizumi's room. It said the facilty was opened on July 20th, and then ten days later forty girls were kidnapped and they weren't found here. The I looked through some more of the articles. Wait a minute...As I was looking through, I found pictures of Aya Koizumi, but they weren't like celeb pictures either. They were mugshots. And the name didn't say Aya Koizumi either. It said Ai Kurosawa. The next was another article, but it was a police report.

_Ai Kurosawa Age:23 DOB: 12/2 _

_Criminal Record_

_Kurosawa had seven siblings, all poisoned by Kurosawa after her father raped her and attempted to poison her also. Kurosawa stabbed up father and forced her younger siblings to drink finger nail polish remover, Kurosawa is now wanted for first degree murder, and will be without trial when found. _

_Police Report Written August 18 1995_

"Oh...My...Gosh...So Aya Koizumi--Or should I say _Ai Kurosawa--_is a murderer?" I whispred. This was all to weird. I mean, it was almost like I was in one of those movies my mom used to watch when I was little. Those LifeTime movies or whatever. Damn. This place was creepy, and I wanted to know nothing else of this place. I had to get Uotani and Hanajima out of here! And Kisa too! I scanned some other papers in the drawer filled with files. There were profiles of some girls, then I found some familiar profiles...

Mei Ruzona

Misa Yoko

Hisa Yagami

Kira Raven

Jun Ako

Lynn Okazaki

...and many other profiles...So many names...So they did have those missing girls. Wow, this was all happening too fast.I thought about Aya's article in the newspaper.

_**After Aya Koizumi moved away from her home of seven children, her seven siblings were abused and kidnapped then murdered. **__Aya vowed to prevent troubled teens like her siblings to face the same fate they have. Now, she has finally finished college and opens a once jail and transforms it into an Adolescent Asylum for Troubled Teen Girls. Now teen girls that age from thirteen to nineteen can shelter here if they are runaways, have no parents or living family or if they have been abused. Counseling is available 24/7 from the highest ranks of counselors from around the country. This facility also doubles as a help house for mentally ill girls or suicidal girls. Guards protect rooms and outside. Everything in this building is electrical and very safe... _

Yeah, right...So she is a liar in desguise. Damn her. What the hell was going on?! I quickly threw the articles and grabbed Kisa's hand. I tried to open the door but it was locked. I looked at the cieling. There was a vent Kisa and I could crawl through.

"Now, Kisa, we have to get out of here. We could get killed, do you trust me?" I felt so scared, but determined. Kisa shyly nodded. I nodded back and gave her a hand through the vent. As I was going through the vent, I overheard some conversations, but decided they weren't really important. Then I looked through the vent and realized we were finally where I wanted us to be. Looking outside. It was dark and probably late. I pushed hard on the vent and finally was able to smell fresh air. I thought about how I could find Hanajima and Uotani.

Then I got back into the building from a window, I avoided the cameras, since Uotani told me where all of them were. I went to my old cell and looked for Uotani and Hanajima's cell. I found Uotani's. I gently knocked on it. Uotani woke up and looked surprised to see me.

"Uotani, how do I get you out?" I whispered.

"The code is 98203," she whispered back. I clicked in the numbers and the cell opened. I pulled the door and Uotani got out, gently closing the cell back up.

"How did you know your own code?" I asked.

"Like I said when you first came here, I've been here for a long freakin' time, so I've been able to keep a watch on the guards as they type in my code. Pretty smart ass eh?" she laughed. I didn't know how she did it, but Uotani was some cool badass.

"Nice." I smiled.

"I know, now for Hanajima's cell." Uotani led me to her cell and we woke Hanajima up.

"How do we get her out?" I asked Uotani.

"Hm...Hanajima, are you able to use your waves?" Uotani asked.

"I'll try." Hanajima mouthed. She closed her eyes and minutes later, the lock came undone. Hanajima wasn't bad herself. But I wondered, couldn't she have gotten out before? I shrugged the thought off and we went into a bathroom where there were no cameras.

"Who's the kid?" Uotani asked.

"Oh...This is Kisa, she was captured and kept here. They won't let her go." I told them. Uotani asked why. So I took up ten minutes telling them the whole story. About the police reports, how Aya Koizumi's real name is Ai Kurosawa and about the human trafficking deal.

"Damn, I knew this place was fucked up. Heh, guess that Ritsu shim was of some use to us." Uotani shrugged.

"Speaking of which, where is he?" I asked.

"Don't know, don't care. If those damn guards are going to rape all of us sooner of later, they'll find out Ritsu's a guy and he'll be able to take care of himself. He'll probably get booted out sooner or later. So let's just blow this joint before they cach us!" Uotani punched a wall.

"Right..." Hanajima and I said at the same time.

"Wait, before we go out there, we'll have to kick some ass if we run into another guard." Uotani told us. So we had to be prepared for anything.

_**Even if your life is full or running away and dependance**_

_**Even if your life is nothing but following the rules**_

_**If you just look in a slightly different direction**_

_**You'll be able to see the signs of improvement**_

_**Don't repress your feelings**_

_**Instead of looking down, stand up**_

With everything on my mind, I used my anger, my pain, everything, I used that to run as fast as I could down the halls. We came upon a guard, Uotani grabbed their wrist before he could call for back up. She broke his wrist and broke his nose. Hanajima knocked him out with her waves and I lead them to the vent where I came in.

_**Just look ahead and keep running**_

_**If you run away, nothing will change**_

_**Take every chance you get**_

_**Break down the hard, tall walls**_

"So far, so good...Guess my lightning storm plan was too unrealistic to work eh?" Uotani laughed.

"It was a good plan, don't be so down on yourself, Uotani." Hanajima told her as we crawled through the vent.

"Don't worry, Uotani, this whole situation is unrealistic! But that's what makes it fun!" I laughed. For the first time, I actually laughed since my mother was alive. Did this mean we were getting out of here soon?

_**Don't waste time**_

_**While you could be doing what you want**_

_**Even if you clash with others**_

_**Just talk it through**_

_**Until you're both satisfied**_

_**That's where you'll find the solution**_

"There it is, the escape!" I told them as we came upon some moonlight. We got out and were surrounded by fences.

"Let's climb over. Kisa, get on my back." Uotani told Kisa. She nodded. I went first, then Hanajima followed behind.

_**Don't repress your feelings**_

_**Instead of looking down, stand up**_

_**Nothing good will come from negative thoughts**_

_**So just believe in your own strength**_

_**And hapiness will find you**_

I climbed over the fence and then the other three came behind me.

"Okay then, we'll run and run until we get into a town. We'll figure out our agenda from there!" Uotani told us.

_**Don't waste time**_

_**While you could be doing what you want**_

_**So you can take that first step**_

_**So you can shine**_

_**Just look ahead and keep running**_

_**If you run away, nothing will change**_

_**Take every chance you get**_

_**Break down the hard, tall walls**_

I couldn't believe it. We were actually escaping. Our sweet escape. We ran and ran until we came upon some hills. We ran over the hills and ran and ran and ran. We would run until we came upon a town. Everything was looking up from here, but what would be beyond those hills? I'd find out soon enough.

_**Don't waste time**_

_**While you could be doing what you want**_

_**So you can take that first step**_

_**So you can shine!**_

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	14. Survive

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**I'm sorry if it seems like I'm just rushing through these chapters. But I want to get to where Haru comes back in fast, then I'll be able to take more time on the chapters. But I promise, two more short chapters after this one and voila! Haru returns! Mwahahaha! I've been aching to write about him and stuff so yeah, hope you like this chapter. Enjoy chapter XIV!!

**XxxxX**-This indicates a dream or memory

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", and the ending song is "Change", the insert song is "Naked" all three are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR.

**Chapter Preview:**_I guess everybody's lives are made up of tragedies. There's no way to escape that, all we have is ourselves. Why am I still alive? I sighed and sat down on the bottom of the steps. Then I heard louder yelling. Arisa was yelling. Then I heard silence. Then more yelling. I decided to look out the window at them. They were yelling back and forth at each other, then suddenly, he hit her. She fell to the ground._

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Isuzu's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::XIV::**

"**Survive"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

Everything was looking up from here, but what would be beyond those hills? I'd find out soon enough. I don't know how much time has passed, but we come upon a tiny little town. I wouldn't even call it a town. More like a little village.

"Damn, looks like I've never seen this place before. Hm, let's go hi-jack a car." Uotani motioned us to come and we followed her to a black convertable.

"Ha, you'd think a little village type place like this would have hick cars. You know what I mean?" Uotani laughed. I gave her a brief smile and we watched as she opened the door and hot wired it. Five minutes later, we all found ourselves getting in and then the clouds started to roll in. It started to sprinkle as Uotani pulled out of the parking lot and quickly drove off.

We were on the high way in no time. The rain started to pour.

"What do we do now?" I asked. I was in the passenger seat and Hanajima and Kisa were in the back, quiet.

"Hm...I kind of know what road we're on. I know of a town where we can stay with someone for a while. But it's a little...Risky..." Uotani sighed.

"Why?" I asked.

"Never mind, we'll stay there for a while, just until we all figure out what we're going to do." Uotani suddenly somehow got this dark look in her eyes. Like she was sad about something. Even thought it was dark outside and pouring rain, her eyes were glistening with sadness. It seems everyone is sad, and it seems we can't go and forget no matter how hard we try.

"I'm sorry, if I get like this again, just slap me." Uotani said out of nowhere after ten minutes of silence.

"Get like what?" I curiously asked.

"Like this...I mean, I know I'm driving and all, and I shouldn't get myself destracted by talking but...If I ever seem sad or something, ignore me or if I annoy you, slap me..." Uotani sighed.

"But...I don't notice anything." I told her, even though she was making me a little worried.

"Never mind, just forget I said anything..." she sighed hard. I silently nodded. I had a brief flashback of Tohru.

**XxxxX**

I had opened my eyes, feeling hurt, and crying in my sleep. Again, that night, I had another horrible dream of the past. But there was a song playing from a small stereo next to my bedside. I remember that so clearly now. I wasn't strapped down anymore, but I did have a tracking device on my ankle, from what I could feel. The song, the song was so beautiful.

_**Sometimes I wonder**_

_**If maybe**_

_**Long before we were born **_

_**We shared a life**_

_**Because even when our bodies are far apart**_

_**I can still feel you right beside me in my heart...**_

_**Sometimes I wonder**_

_**If maybe**_

_**When we're reborn**_

_**We'll share one life...**_

I remembered this song so sweetly now. So clearly, and even though I'll never be able to hear that wonderful song again, those lyrics will be burned into my mind...Always...

"I love that song, and I wanted to burn this song for you on the CD I gave you yesterday. This song is special to me, and I wanted to give it to you because it's almost as if we're sisters. What with out lives beings tragic. Losing our mothers and all. But I wanted to tell you something else for this song. Maybe someday you can give it someone else you feel connected to. If you like it that is," Tohru smiled. I looked at her then at the mini stereo. I nodded at her and shyly replied.

"I do like it..." and somehow, that horrible dream I had that night of the past was fading away. Thinking of that now, somehow I could forget my past. Maybe not forget for good, but at least briefly forget it. Even those small brief moments of forgetting made me happy. Feeling happy for the first time since my mother died. Since my step father came into my life.

Since my ex-best friends betrayed me. Since I was carried away into that stupid asylum.

**XxxxX**

My mind came back to reality as thunder roared across the sky. I didn't realize how long I was thinking, Hanajima and Kisa were sleeping. Uotani looked as if she was crying. Her eyes were slightly puffy and her eyes watered.

_"Sometimes I wonder if maybe long before we were born we shared a life..." _I quietly sang the melody of the song.

"What?" Uotani glanced at me. I looked over at her.

"We all have tragedies in our lives, no matter how small the tragedy, it's still a tragedy. I was forced to the asylum because I cut. But you already know that." I told her. I was ready to tell my story, to someone I trusted.

"You never said why you cut...I didn't want to ask because I didn't want to pry. In my life, people always used to pry into my business. So I never wanted to do that to anyone because I knew how horrible it felt when everybody wanted to know my business." Uotani said.

"Yeah...Well...We've known each other for a while now. I cut because my mother died a few months back. She killed herself. My step father was the cause for that because she wasn't happy. And my step father raped me, he used to do that every night, then he abused me physically too. Because I was quiet and just because I got drunk one night and had sex with the boy I liked, I was labled slut. My ex-best friends betrayed me, they taunted me, and if I didn't run away from home, they would have still tormented me..." I finished, feeling relieved I got all of that off my back.

Uotani looked shocked. After a long silence, she sighed and glanced at me again.

"I thought I was in love. He was nine years older than me. He told me he'd do anything for me. He said he would never hurt me. But he lied. His name was Kureno...One day, I was out on a date with him, and he saw me talking to an old guy friend from my childhood. Then he accused me of cheating on him. He'd pry into my life, eventually, I broke up with him. Then he wanted to get back with me. He told me he was sorry. I decided to give our relationship another shot. But I made a mistake. He started to hit me once, then twice. He'd stop and say sorry, then he became controlling of my life. He was like a stalker. I went to the asylum because they thought I was crazy, they thought I was making it up about him hitting me...But no more...At least I was away from him...I don't know where he is now...But I never want to see him again." Uotani's tears fell like the rain.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered.

"No...It's fine. I've healed now. It just hurts to know I let some guy do that to me, the tough Arisa Uotani! Ha, I'm so pathetic." She wiped away her tears and continued to stare at the road.

"I guess we have that in common, huh?" I smiled. She looked at me.

"I guess so. What were you singing earlier?" She asked. I could feel my cheeks getting hot.

"I met this girl when I was at a hospital a while back. She was my only first friend I ever had, and now I'll probably never see her again. But she gave me a song called 'Part of Me'. She felt as if we were sisters because we both lost our mothers. It goes like this..

_Sometimes I wonder_

_If maybe_

_Long before we were born _

_We shared a life_

_Because even when our bodies are far apart_

_I can still feel you right beside me in my heart..._

_Sometimes I wonder_

_If maybe_

_When we're reborn_

_We'll share one life..."_

I sang the song to her. Tears started to well up in her eyes.

"Same here...My mother abandoned me and I never knew her. My father was a lazy alcoholic and eventually was thrown in the slammer. Ha, how stupid can that be? But hey, I guess we abused women have each other huh?" Uotani laughed.

"Yeah...We don't need those adults, those stupid teachers, those other people." I smiled. Uotani turned up the radio and a song came on.

_**Like the stardust scattered across the night sky**_

_**We live in a very crowded world**_

_**But if you try to be like everyone else**_

_**The real you will start to disappear**_

_**You're not for someone else**_

_**You don't have to lie about your feelings**_

_**Just be naked**_

_**Relax and stop being so tense**_

_**Juts like how no two stones are the same shape**_

_**It's all right for us to all have our own futures**_

_**YOu don't have to be a good kid**_

_**And do everything your parents and teachers tell you!**_

_**Don't look bored**_

_**Just enjoy everything that comes alone!**_

_**There are so many difficult rules**_

_**But it's okay to take your shoes off and run barefoot once in a while!**_

_**What you wanna do**_

_**Don't waste your time**_

_**It should be done so that you may wish**_

_**What you wanna do **_

_**Don't waste your time**_

_**It should be done so that you may wish**_

_**Don't deceive yourself**_

_**Don't make a lie**_

_**Don't deceive yourself**_

_**Don't make a lie**_

_**That's right! You're not for someone else!**_

_**Throw off your laquered shell...**_

I head banged to the song and it seemed my memories were slowly fading away again. Finally, I was able to have fun without a care in the world with someone I trusted. Someone I could connect to. Someone that was a part of me. About two hours later, we came upon a town, and yes, it was actually a town, not a tiny village.

"Hm...Here we are. We can stay at one of my friends houses." Uotani told me. We pulled into a white house and Uotani knocked. A few minutes later, someone came out. It was a guy about to be the age of twenty five or something. He yawned.

"What? Arisa?" he looked surprised.

"Hey Hatori! How's it?!" Arisa hugged him, he gave a bored look and yet smiled a little bit.

"This is a friend of mine, Hatori, this is Isuzu, Saki Hanajima and Kisa." Uotani introduced us. Hatori's eyes widened a bit when he looked at Kisa.

"Hatori? What's wrong?" Uotani asked, giving a worried look.

"Oh...It's nothing." he sighed and let us all in. The house was nice, everything was neat and clean, and the carpet was pure white. The walls had some paintings on them and there was a big screen TV in the living room. The staircase was right in front of you when you first walk in.

"Nice place..." I quietly said.

"So, Arisa, why haven't I seen you since you escaped?" Hatori asked.

"Oh...Since I left Kureno? Um...Well, I've just been...Around." Uotani shrugged.

"Hm, and why do I have a hard time believing that?" Hatori raised one eyebrow. His dark hair was covering one of his eyes, making me wonder if that was just a style or if something happened to his eye.

"Um...You don't wanna know." Uotani laughed as she plopped herself down on the white couch in front of the TV.

"Do tell, Arisa, I'd like to know what you've been up to lately, since you did just disappear a while back." Hatori gave a small smile and crossed his arms.

"Um...Actually, I've been away at this one place where they, um, help teens like me. A school for girls kind of." She laughed and blew a blond piece of hair out of her eyes.

"I see. That doesn't really sound like you or what your father would do. How is he? Your father, I mean." Hatori still looked supspicous.

"That lazy drunk? He's probably at home, sleeping or something. I haven't been home since I left that school. I just, need a place to stay for a few days. Just until my friends and I get back on our feet." Uotani laughed.

"Hm...Very well then. The four of you girls are welcome to stay in the guess room upstairs to the left. Extra blankets are found in the closet. Make yourselves at home. And Arisa? I trust you'll behave yourself while you stay here." Hatori raised his eyebrow. Uotani smiled and "innocent" smile, but when he turned to walk into the next room, she rolled her eyes.

That night, we set up some blankets and decided to go to sleep early because none of us had a good sleep in days or months for that matter. The guest room was nice, really nice. We decided Kisa would get the bed and Hanajima, Uotani, and I would sleep on the floor.

"So Hatori treats you like a daughter I see. Why is that?" Hanajima asked.

"Heh, he's just like that. Over protective because he knows about what Kureno did to me. He was the one who noticed the bruises on my body and face. Hatori's been my friend every since I met Kureno and they used to be buddies too, until Hatori found out what Kureno was doing to me. It's fine now, the healing's done." Uotani shrugged.

"I take it Hanajima knows about your abusive ex, huh?" I asked.

"Yeah, she's known for a while now." Uotani smiled at me and layed down. "But you know what? Even thought Hatori is a little over protective of me, and he treats me like a daughter, I think I need it. I mean, my father's been a real lazy bum when I lived with him. But I have Hatori and you guys. I don't need anything else in my life now..." Uotani yawned and closed her eyes. I smiled and turned out the lamp.

"Goodnight." I said.

"Goodnight." Uotani...No, Arisa gently said.

I closed my eyes and instantly fell asleep. Yet what only seemed like a few minutes of sleep, four hours had passed. I looked at the alarm clock. It was one in the morning. I heard someone yelling downstairs. What the hell? I quietly got up and opened the door. I peaked down the stairs and saw Hatori at the front door yealling at someone.

"Just stay away from here, you're drunk!" Hatori yelled.

"B-but, I heard that she's back. I want to see her again. I miss her so much." The voice said back.

"No, she isn't here, and even if she was, what makes you think she'd want to see you again? You were the reason she left!" Hatori was ready to close the door, but the guy came in. He was wearing a black coat and his light brown hair was messed up. He stumbled in.

"Let me see her! Aren't you my best friend Hatori? What happened to that? Is it that you want her to yourself?!" the guy yelled. Damn it. That must be Kureno! I turned around to tell Arisa.

"Arisa! Wake up! Kureno's here!" I shook her. She quickly sat up.

"What the hell?! You serious?!" Arisa yelled.

"Yeah, he's looking for you! What should we do?" I desperately asked. Hanajima and Kisa slowly sat up, wondering what was going on.

"You three, stay here, I'll go handle him." She suddenly became calm.

"But--" She cut me off.

"No, Isuzu. I'll handle him." And with that, she gently pushed me aside and then walked off out the bedroom door.

"She's gotten strong." Hanajima quietly said. I turned to her. I looked down and thought about it. I thought about my past about my pain. Was I really ready to move on? It's like, my dark memories are keeping me back from everything. Like they're invisible strings holding onto my heart, and if I tried to move on, they'd rip my heart out. Why? Why do I hold onto my memories so tight? Why wasn't I able to move on like Arisa? Why couldn't I stand up to my step dad like she's standing up to her ex-boyfriend now?

In those seconds I was thinking, I felt weak and low. Like I've gotten nowhere. Like I've been running from everything. Absolutely everything. I walked out take a peak. I watched down the stairs as I heard Arisa yelling.

"What the hell makes you think you can show your face here? HUH?! Answer me!" She yelled. Kureno looked surprised.

"Arisa! See, I told you she was here...I...Missed--" Kureno began but Arisa wouldn't let him.

"Don't say you missed me because I as hell didn't miss you." Arisa crossed her arms.

"But, Arisa...I wanted to make up for old time sake. I was so sad when you were gone. Where did you go?" Kureno smiled. Arisa sighed and pushed him out the door.

"Arisa!" Hatori called out.

"I can handle this, Hatori. Don't worry..." Arisa assured him. I came down the stairs when they went out the door. Hatori saw me. He sighed and looked down.

"Hatori..." I whispered.

"Isuzu, right? I'm sorry about him, Kureno, he--" I cut him off.

"Yeah, Arisa told me everything about him. He abused her. I know...How that feels." I looked away as soon as Hatori's eyes widened. I felt the lump grow in my throat. "I'm not one to tell long stories, so I'll make it short. My step dad abused me, I ran away, and then I met Arisa. Now I'm here. Don't ask questions, I've been through enough." I sighed.

"Hm...I see. Well then, tragedy, none of us can avoid it, can we?" Hatori leaned against the wall.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I had an ex-girlfriend, her ex-boyfriend hurt my eye because he thought she dumped him for me. He threw a glass bottle at it, now I'm almost blind in it. Kanna, that was my girlfriend's name. Hm, she broke up with me after that, not wanting me to get hurt again. Now she's engaged to that creep. When I saw your friend, Kisa was it? When I saw her, her eyes reminded me of Kanna's. That sad, worried look. So deep and innocent. Thinking of her makes me feel sick again." Hatori sighed and turned around to walk out. "Make sure Arisa's okay." He pointed to the door and walked away.

I guess everybody's lives are made up of tragedies. There's no way to escape that, all we have is ourselves. Why am I still alive? I sighed and sat down on the bottom of the steps. Then I heard louder yelling. Arisa was yelling. Then I heard silence. Then more yelling. I decided to look out the window at them. They were yelling back and forth at each other, then suddenly, he hit her. She fell to the ground.

"ARISA!" I yelled and ran outside.

"That'll teach you to fuck with me!" Kureno yelled. Arisa sat up and wiped her bloody mouth.

"That's it!" she stood up and punched back at him. But it wasn't enough to make him fall down like she did.

"You bitch!" Kureno grabbed her hair and punched her stomach. She coughed up blood.

"No!" I yelled. I ran and grabbed him. He pushed me off and my back hit a tree. I moaned in pain. I had some of the air knocked out of me. I stood up and saw memories flash through my mind.

_"You'll probably be a tattle-tell if you really are pregnant!" _Kazuo's words echoed through my mind. I can remember when he punched me in the stomach. No, how can I let Kureno hurt Arisa like that? I forced myself over to them and punched Kureno's face. He backed off and looked surprised.

"Ugh! Who the hell is this?! AGH!" He grabbed my arm and was about to hit me when Arisa yelled.

"No, don't hurt her. I'm the one...I'm the one you want to hurt. I'm the one you love, right? Go ahead...Kill me...Kill me...I dare you..." What was Arisa saying?! He was DRUNK for crying out loud!! Was she being crazy on purpous?! Kureno pushed me down and wiped his mouth.

"If that's the way you want it then, okay then." Kureno grabbed Arisa's arm and punched her stomach again. Arisa fell to the ground. She stood up and tried to punch him back, but he grabbed her neck and squeezed it. I stood up and jumped on his back.

"Don't hurt my friend! Get off! GET OFF!!!!!!" I yelled as loud as I could. Then Hatori, Hanajima and Kisa came out, all shocked.

"Arisa! Isuzu!" Hatori yelled. Kureno elbowed my side and I hit the ground hard. Kureno hit Arisa two times and then kicked her side, making a cracking sound. Arisa screamed in pain.

"Stop it, Kureno!" Hatori ran and punched him. Kureno fell down.

"Hatori, no, how could you? I thought...I thought we were best friends. How could you choose her over me?" Kureno sounded psycho. I was in shock. Hatori was gasping.

"You could never be my friend. Not somebody like you, Kureno. Now, get out of here." Hatori glared at him. Arisa was laying there coughing. Kureno started to cry. The bastard. He stood up and ran off like the worthless coward he is. I looked over at Arisa. Hatori gently picked her up and brought her into the house. I got up and followed behind.

"Isuzu, call an ambulance, quickly. Hanajima, go to the restroom and grab some tissue and get some water." Hatori ordered. I ran to the kitchen and picked up the phone. It was lucky I found the phone so fast. I dialed 911 and told them about Arisa. They told me to hold the line, they'd come as soon as possible. Hatori layed Arisa on the couch in the living room. She was moaning in pain. Hatori felt her side. She cried louder.

"I think her ribs are broken." Hatori told us. I didn't notice it, but my hand was covering my mouth. I don't even think that my step dad abused me this badly. I mean, yeah, he raped me, but never broke any of my bones. He probably would have if I was still living there and if he were still alive.

Five minutes later, the ambulance came. They checked her and Hatori told us to go with Arisa, he'd stay and we'd call him if anything were to happen while they checked on Arisa. We jumped in the back of the ambulance and they sped off. Arisa was moaning as shey lay there in the cot they put her in. The paramedics gave her some oxygen. Everything seemed to be happening so fast. It was hard to catch my breath.

"You her friends?" A woman paramedic asked. Hanajima and I nodded. I looked at Arisa. She looked so pale and fragile.

"It's a wonder she survived. Her ribs seem to be broken and she looks as if she's lost a lot of blood. What happened?" the paramedic asked.

"She was beat up...By her ex-boyfriend..." Hanajima told her.

"I see...How tragic..." the woman shook her head and gave a sad look. But her mind was far from knowing what really happened. Her mind was far from every knowing how that felt to be abused. To be hurt that way. Emotionally and physically. She wasn't scarred like Arisa and I were.

It's a wonder that I'm still alive. The point is, I guess...Is that I'm a survivor...

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	15. Seperation

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**This chapter is kind of a quick one, like I said before, I want to get to where Haru comes in ASAP! Yes, just one more chapter and you'll see him. Love the reviews coming in "..." and RinHaru4Ever. Thanks! Enjoy chapter XV!

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", and the ending song is "Change", both are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR. The insert song is "End Roll" by Ayumi Hamasaki.

**Chapter Preview:**_"Forgiveness is hard, you know? But we can't let our emotions control us. If we do, we'll only be a moody wreck. Things will go out of balance, negative thoughts will emerge, and soon, you'll start to hurt yourself to get rid of the emotional pain. But no matter how much you cut, the memories will always be there..."_

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Isuzu's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::XV::**

"**Seperation"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

"We wrapped up Miss Uotani's injuries. Right now she's on a lot of medication, so she's out for about twenty-four hours. Hm...Tell me, what exactly happened." The doctor in charge of Arisa asked.

"Um...Well, her ex-boyfriend came and beat her up pretty bad. Then he ran off. That's all we know." I shrugged.

"Hm, I see then. What was his name?" He asked.

"Kureno." I told him.

"Last name?" He adjusted his glasses.

"Erm, don't know." I shrugged again. The doctor rolled his eyes and wrote some stuff down.

"Can you give me details about this? I'm going to have to file a police report on this. Since there are a lot of criminals, we can't be sure we'll capture him sepecifically and make him get what he deserves." The doctor sighed. So Hanajima told him what Kureno looked like. Then he said we could stay the night with Arisa. We came into her room. She was stiff and sleeping so deeply.

"Arisa...It seems she's in a lot of pain." Hanajima sighed.

"Obviously..." I whispered.

"Emotionally...She still loves Kureno." Hanajima mysteriously said.

"What?! How can she still love that creep? He almost _killed _her!" I practically yelled.

"Yes, I know that. But she was weak when Kureno was beating her. She couldn't seem to fight back at her best. She held back because she knew if she hurt him, she would regret it later. She doesn't show it, but I can sense her waves. She loves him deeply, and even though he hurt her in the past, she can't help but love him. It's complicated, I know. But she's vunerable to him. I don't know what her past was with him, but he probably wasn't abusive at first when they fell in love. But I'm sure, Arisa is wanting the old Kureno back. This is all assumption, but that's what I feel." Hanajima's violet eyes looked deep into mine.

"I see...But still, how can you love someone that beats you? Can't she get over him?" I stupidly asked.

"Hm...Like I said, Isuzu, she probably doesn't want to give up on Kureno. If she hated him, like she says she does, then she would have had Hatori handle him, but instead, she decided to deal with him herself, get it?" Hanajima stared at me.

"I guess I get it..." I nodded. "But, I've been abused by my step father, and I probably would have never been able to forgive him. I don't forgive him now...I hate him, and I hope he's rotting in hell this second." I found myself saying out loud.

"You say you wish he was rotting in hell. He is dead?" Hanajima darkly asked.

"Yeah...I guess someone killed him. But whoever that was, I want to thank them. Thank them for killing the poison in my life. But it seems the poison still has some aftereffects on me. I can't stop thinking about my past. The memories. I can't...I can never forget the pain I had to endure." I felt tears welling up. Hanajima came closer to me.

"Forgiveness is hard, you know? But we can't let our emotions control us. If we do, we'll only be a moody wreck. Things will go out of balance, negative thoughts will emerge, and soon, you'll start to hurt yourself to get rid of the emotional pain. But no matter how much you cut, the memories will always be there..." Hanajima sighed and patted my shoulder. I didn't know what to say. Then, Arisa's eyes slowly opened.

"Arisa!" I said out.

"She's awake, but how?" Hanajima wondered this also.

"Isuzu...Saki...? Where...Am...I?" She barely whispered. Her throat sounded scratchy. "I hurt...Everywhere...Where did...Kureno go?" Arisa coughed. Yet it most likely pained her.

"He ran away. Hatori let him, remember? He probably didn't want him to get caught. They were best friends, but from Hatori's waves, it seems he still cares for Kureno. And you too, Arisa. You too, still care for Kureno." I couldn't believe what Hanajima was saying. How could she say this out loud, and to Arisa? Arisa didn't say anything for a while. Then she looked at Hanajima.

"Saki, you were always the one to notice everything. You're a true friend...I guess...No matter how hard I try, I just can't seem to get over him. He used to be so kind and gentle. Then he changed when our relationship got deeper. I guess I just wish the old Kureno would come back. I miss the old him..." Arisa sighed. I sighed too.

"Well, the doctors say we can spend the night here. Then we can go back to Hatori's house. But...I don't think that..." Hanajima began.

"You don't think what Hanajima?" Arisa asked.

"I don't think that I should stick with you, Arisa. Or you, Isuzu. Because there's business I have to attend to." Hanajima sat down. I sat down in a chair too. Arisa and I both looked at Hanajima.

"I want to make this as short as possible. My brother, Megumi. He and my mother need me home. They've needed me ever since I left. While I was in the asylum, they kept wanting to call, but the guards wouldn't let them. And the thing with me ever being in the asylum is the fact that I have these electric waves. It doesn't mean I'm crazy, it's just a gift, a gift I use only for defense. My mother needs me, so does my brother. I don't think I should be a burden to you two." Hanajima sighed.

"So...You're leaving?" I asked.

"Yes, tomorrow morning, I'm leaving. I am so home sick. I miss my family. I miss my home..." Hanajima sighed and closed her eyes, as if she were thinking of her home again.

"I get that, I miss home too. But I'm not going back there. I can't go back no matter how much I miss it." Arisa's words were now embedded in my heart. I can't go back to where Hanajima and Arisa and I talked. When we had fun at the asylum. Not really fun, but we at least had each other to count on. Now, would we be seperated?

"I'm going to live with Hatori, I just decided this. And the next time Kureno comes back, I'm going to face him. Hatori will be by my side. And I'll tell him what I feel. I have to let go of him. And...Kisa can live with us too. Who knows how things will go, but whatever happens, then that's life, I guess. We should just go our seperate ways then." Arisa sighed.

The next early morning, Hanajima was gone. She left a note.

_Dear Isuzu and Arisa,_

_I'm sorry I had to leave this way. I know you probably wanted to say goodbye. But I'm going my own way now. We must all learn to stand on our own two feet someday. I'll always remember you two. What you've done for me. Thank you for everything. And I hope you two can find your own paths also. With the one you love. Like Arisa, you can look up to Hatori as a father. And Kisa as a sister now. Hope that works out. And Isuzu, I'm sure you'll find your way. I promise things will be okay. If you ever need anything, seek me out, or seek Arisa out. Whatever you do, Isuzu, we'll always be together, as friends, like at the asylum._

_Love Saki Hanajima_

"Isuzu? What does it say?" Arisa weakly asked

"She's...Gone..." I barely said out.

_**I can't go back**_

_**No matter how much I miss it**_

_**That time was certainly fun**_

_**But that isn't now**_

Every memory I've had since the night that Hatsuharu guy saved me, went rushing through my mind. My dreams, my illusions, my trials, everything. Absolutely everything. And all the memries with Arisa and Hanajima. How we escaped with our lives.

_**I remember the clumsy way**_

_**I used to end things**_

_**Where are you?**_

_**Where have you gone?**_

Does everything happen for a reason? Was meeting Hatsuharu mere mistake? Was everything a mistake? It couldn't have been. It just couldn't have been. Meeting Hanajima, meeting everyone I have met. Tohru, Kisa, Arisa, Hatori, all of the people I've met along the way. Each have a past. Each have painful memories. Could this be mere couinsidence?

_**You've gone away on a long trip, haven't you?**_

_**With the person most important to you**_

_**If I had said something**_

_**Then we probably wouldn't have had to sort of beginning**_

I guess I should come to the realization that I'm not the only one hurting. I'm not alone. Meeting these people was for a reason. And now, things must all come to an end. No matter what, all things must come to an end...And we all have to seperate someday.

_**Where we could already see the end**_

_**I say goodbye with all my heart**_

_**Unable to be like a child crying**_

_**But still not getting what she wants**_

I may have cut and I may have been hurt in the past, but that's over. For now anyway. What lies beyond where I must began a path? What now? Where am I to go? I have to find a way, just like Hanajima said.

_**And then I walk on**_

_**I'm trying to walk on my own**_

_**I hope there can be a light on my path**_

_**Even though you're not on it anymore**_

I will be alone again, I will have to be alone again. I looked at Arisa as she lay there in her bed.

"Arisa, I wish the best for you..." I felt tears welling up in my eyes and that lump in my throat emerged.

_**People are sad**_

_**Are people sad?**_

_**It's all right if I think**_

_**That people are happy, isn't it?**_

"So, you're going to find your own path, eh?" Arisa smiled.

"I guess..." I shrugged.

"In life, Isuzu, you can't just guess. You need to speak up. You need to give a direct answer, learn that and you'll get through life a little easier." Arisa winked. "So let me ask again, you're going to find a path for yourself again, right?" She waited for me to answer.

_**And so I walk on**_

_**You're walking on too, right?**_

_**I hope there can be a light on our paths**_

_**Even thought they're seperate...**_

And so I answered...

"Yes..."

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	16. All Alone

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**Sorry again for the delay, but finally, the chapter you've been waiting for. The chapter that will launch the romance. Mwahahaha. Anyway, here you go, I hope you enjoy chapter XVI.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", and the ending song is "Change", both are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR.

**Chapter Preview:**_I was all alone now. With nobody to run to. I had to find my own path, no matter what. What lied ahead in my journey?_

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Isuzu's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::XVI::**

"**All Alone"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

"Well, I guess this is goodbye." I said to Arisa as I nodded my head. She smiled a small smile and winked at me. Now it was time for me to find my own path, to not have to look to others for help. To stand on my own two feet. Now was the time to find myself. To let myself heal. Hopefully.

"Never goodbye, but see you later. Go to Hatori's, he'll give you some money, then you can find your own path from there. Don't worry, I know everything will come into place." Arisa nodded. Then I waved and walked out to find my own way. To find my own road. I walked to Hatori's house and told him everything. About Hanajima and about when Arisa comes back, they can take care of Kisa.

"I guess I can't stop you then." Hatori gave a faint smile.

"I guess not. So then, I'll see you later." I said, remember what Arisa said.

"Arisa always says that. So then, I'll see you later too." Hatori bowed and I took some stuff and a bag Hatori gave me then left. Everything didn't seem like it should though. I was all alone. I felt so alone. But I knew somehow that I would find my own path. I first started off with walking down a random street. It was almost noon. I was a little hungry so I came upon a small donut shop.

When I went in, I used the money Hatori gave me to buy some a donut and some tea. I haven't eaten something like this in a while. It made me wonder why I hated life so much. But then memories came back, then I remembered why I hated life so much. But I decided I'd ignore it for today. Today was my day to find a way.

When I was ready to tip the donut shop, the lady at the front looked at me strangly.

"You look familiar. Have I seen you somewhere before?" the lady asked.

"No, I don't think so." I told her, giving her the tip. Then I looked at a buliten behind her. Damn, there was a report of three girls escaping from a certain facility. There were three pictures also. Damn, they were looking for us that quickly?! "Um, I've got to go." I quickly said, without a thought, and walked out the door. How was this going to work out? If I was going to find my own way, I couldn't get caught.

I had to get a new image. I had to change myself if I wanted to escape that place for good. I checked the money Hatori gave me. He had given me too much money than I needed. I decided to go break into a public high school that night, at least for a night to spend. The school was a small public high school. Probably only about two hundred students attended. But it would have to do. I was cautious to make sure there was no janitors around.

Good thing there wasn't. I made sure. Then I came upon the gym. It was pretty big, and to the left when I first came into the gym, there was the girls' locker room. I went in there and rummaged through the lockers.

I found an empty bag that I could use and two extra hoodies. Both of the hoodies had a picture of something. The black one had a flame on it and the red one had a basket ball on it. I threw the basket ball one back and took the flamed one.

I decided to look for some other things that I needed too. Some of the lockers were locked so I just left those ones alone. I found some body spray and shampoo and a brush. I smelled myself and I reaked of dirt.

I decided to then take a shower really fast. Then I got dressed again and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like a mess. I was tired and I had bags under my eyes. I took out some eyeliner Arisa gave me and put it in the new bigger bag I would use.

Maybe I could freshen up the next day. I remembered that I had to change my look again. I sighed examined myself in the mirror. Then I checked what time it was. Nine thirty. I didn't sleep at all, and the next morning I was cold. The high school would probably start soon so I decided to leave at five in the morning.

I brushed my hair and applied the eyeliner before I left. Then I walked all the way to a store that opened early. I bought a Pepsi, some chips and some hair dye and scissors. I went into a public bathroom in a park and locked the door.

I used the hair dye to highlight my dark hair with some light brown streaks. Then I took the scissors and looked at myself.

_Isuzu's a slut, a whore, a prostitute_

_Isuzu was pregnant_

_Isuzu should DIE!!!!!_

I can remember again when I punched that mirror at my old school. Why were they all so cruel to me? I thought for a second about stabbing myself with the scissors, but I would have gotten this far for nothing. I'd be throwing away all I've done to get this far. Escaping that horrible asylum would have been for nothing. For nothing. And meeting Arisa and Saki would have been for nothing also.

So I decided to try and tough it out. I slowly cut my hair just below my shoulder. It wasn't too long or too short. I put on the black flamed hoodie and sighed. The weather was starting to cool down.

Winter was approaching. I put the hood on and threw the bag over my shoulder. I sighed after taking one more look at myself in the mirror. I was all alone, with nobody to turn to. Nobody to run to. I had to find my own path, no matter what.

After I ate my pop and chips in the park, it started to sprinkle. There was fog everywhere. I had no idea what time it was, but I knew I had to keep moving along if I wanted to find a way out. And to find a new life. I didn't want to have to keep running forever.

"Ugh...Well Isuzu, what now?" I asked myself walking down a street with some stores. The cherry blossoms were beginning to fall from the tree. Then I came upon a huge yellow tree.

The leaves were trickling with rain. I stood under it and felt tears coming. Why was I still alive? Shouldn't I be dead by now? How did I even get this far? What was to happen to me next? I mean, yeah I said I'd tough it out, but what if I have a break down and kill myself later on?

What then? Would I just be an anonymous dead girl laying on a street? Nobody would know who I was. Nobody would come to my funeral. If I even had one, asuming I would have one, unless they'd just burn my body and throw my ashes in a trash somewhere. Ha, that's what I deserved.

I stood there staring at the grey sky. There was a small house across the street where two children were playing in the rain. Their mother came out and told them they'd catch a cold if they stayed out any longer.

"Aww, but Mommy! Why do we have to go in?" One child asked.

"Because I don't you to catch cold!" The mother said.

"Why do you care if we get sick or not?" The other child curiously asked. They were probably about seven years old.

"Because I love you! Now get inside, I'll make hot chocolate." The mother gently pushed them inside and shut the door behind her. I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I wish I was that lucky.

To have a mother that cared and loved me. Instead, my mother was telling me that she'd leave me if she wasn't happy. And she did leave me. She killed herself because she wasn't happy. How could she be so selfish like that? Wasn't she suppose to love me and my sister?

I looked down at the wet grass. Soon, winter would approach and then what would I do? If I didn't commit suicide, then would I just freeze to death in an alley? I felt regret emerge in my heart. I was so confused and depressed. I needed somebody, anybody to hold me and tell me it was all right. But there was nobody around. Nobody to care. I left that falling tree and walked around, all alone, until night fell.

I looked in my pocket, maybe this could be my last time to spend money. I had forty dollars left and came upon a mall. I decided to go in and find a place to eat. I was walking around, and found a fast food resteraunt. It smelled of grease, something I haven't smelled in years. It reminded me of when Keiko and Chai and I went to a fast food reseteraunt back when we were friends. I hated those times. And yet why do I keep remembering them?

"What I can I get you?" A lady at the front asked. I scanned the menu and wondered what I should get. The woman was getting impatient with me. I sighed and she finally got mad.

"Come on, you kind of girls come around here and hold up the line by taking ten mintues to order a salad. Why do anorexics have to exsist?!" The woman got angry. I looked behind me slowly.

"But, there's no line." I told her.

"Why do you gotta be a smart ass too?" I was shocked at what this working woman was saying.

"Um, I wasn't being a smart ass. I was just saying." But she cut me off.

"Look, just freaking order something or I'll have to make you leave. We have the right to refuse service to anybody at any time. So hurry up and order." I was about to order to the crabby ass lady but then two guys came in and made some comments about what just happened.

"Hey, what the hell is the matter with you fast food people? Can't you see the girl's trying to decide what to order and here you are being a bitch to her." The voice, it was so familiar. I turned to see a tall guy with silver hair and the other guy had orange hair. Oh...My...Gosh...It was...

_Him!_

It was that Hatsuharu guy that saved me a while back! It definently was!

"Hey, you her boyfriend or what?" The woman bitched.

"Hey, I'm just saying, you don't have to be so bitchy to a customer. No wonder there's nobody in here!" Hatsuharu laughed. The other guy next to him was wearing a black shirt and jeans and had orange hair. The orange haired dude rolled his eyes at Hatsuharu.

"Come on, Haru, do you have to make such a big deal outta this?" The orange haired dude asked, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, I do, nobody should be treated like this, right? Um, what's your name?" Hatsuharu looked at me. My heart lurched, hoping he wouldn't recognize me. His eyes widened for a moment.

"Hey, do I know you?" He asked. I looked down.

"No, I don't think so." I said, turning around and walking out of the fast food court. He followed.

"Hey, wait, aren't you hungry?" He asked, catching up to me. I looked at him then quickly looked away, walking faster.

"No, I'm not anymore." I told him.

"No, really, you look familiar, sorry to change the subject, but, your eyes. They look so, so familiar." Soon, Hatsuharu was next to me, hands in his black trench coat.

"Um, no I don't believe so. Um, I've never met you." I nervously said.

"Heh, but I could have sworn I met you before. Unless I'm hallucinating, you can't be, can you? What's your name?" Hatsuharu gently grabbed my arm and I stopped and looked at him. My mind was racing. I wasn't thinking, and I was about to tell him my name, but I didn't want anybody to know who I was.

"Rin...My name is Rin..." I gently whispered, walking away.

"Oh...Then I guess I was mistaken..." Hatsuharu sighed and let me walk away.

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	17. Of the Same Mind

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:** I think the reason why I'm updating so slowly is because 1.) Writer's block 2.) I'm running out of ideas and 3.) I'm just lazy. Haha, it's prbably mostly number three, but can you reviewers and fans give me some ideas. I mean, I'm not completely out of ideas, I know how the fic is going to end up and I know how the romance is gonna go, but these leading-up-to-that-chapters has no ideas. So maybe you guys can help me out here. So start sending in those ideas whether it's through PM or a review. Send em in please? Or I'll die! Haha, not really, but this fic will be boring unless I get ideas. Please? Thank you and enjoy chapter XVII!

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", the insert song is "Run Run Run" and the ending song is "Change", all three are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR.

**Chapter Preview:**_I don't mean that she's cute, I know her!" I finally said. "I can't let her go and she won't tell me who she really is."_

_"Oh, you know her? Heh, well I wouldn't tell you who I really was either because you probably are stalking her. That's why she left so quickly." Kyo laughed._

_"Shut up, I mean, she's the girl who I told you about. The girl's step dad who I killed." I whispered._

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Haru's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::XVII::**

"**Of the Same Mind"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

"Oh my gosh, and remember when you told me about the fireworks?! I was like 'worry about them when we're not about to DIE!' Man, that day was badass." Kyo laughed and took a huge sip of his Mountain Dew.

"Man, that was what, two months ago and you're still pumped about it? And why are you so proud of yourself? I was the one who had everything under control until you came in and ruined everything. We could have gotten killed!" I laughed, ruffling my silver hair and yawning.

"Yeah, I guess, but still, that was good fun." Kyo laughed agian. I knew this was just the Mountain Dew's sugar that was making Kyo act like this.

"Whatever man, being in a life and death situation is fun." I sarcastically said. It's been two months since we've been on the run. We've been travelling pretty damn far, ever since that day I killed...Isuzu's step dad. That day is still so clear to me now. It's like, even though I haven't seen Isuzu in two months, I still somehow feel connected to her. If only I could see her again, then I could feel that connection once again.

It seems her eyes can't get out of my mind either. I wondered what she was doing this second. Kyo and I were now in the guest house of his cousin's. Shigure and Yuki are his cousins. We've been staying here for almost a month and we decided together that when winter hit, we'd find another place to live. But until then, Shigure was paying us for cleaning his house and running erands for him. So far, we've raised enough money for a new car. Shigure is one rich novelist. A lazy one actually.

"So what's the agenda for tomorrow?" I asked Kyo as we got ready for bed.

"Heh, don't know. Yuki's getting pissed that we keep being loud in this guest house. But that damn rat is retarded, so oh well. Don't know, Shigure gave us the day off tomorrow. So maybe we could hit the mall later and go to the arcade." Kyo suggested. I shrugged.

"I guess." I said. We got into our beds and I instantly fell asleep. The next day, we did as planned. Kyo and I headed out to the mall. We just played at the arcade while girls oogled at us. A girl even came up to me while I was playing Asteroids.

"Hey babe, you're pretty hot." She smiled and stroked my hair. I raised my eyebrow. Kyo looked at me and gave a smirk then rolled his eyes when the girl wouldn't go away.

"Um...Me?" I asked stupidly.

"Yeah, you. What's your name?" She flipped her blonde hair at me. She smelled of strong perfume and her stomach was showing. I glanced at her belly piercing and gave her a strange look.

"Uhh...The name's Inou." I lied. Kyo smirked again.

"Inou? That's a hot name. It suits you." I could kind of tell she just wanted me for her pleasures because I was so "hot" as she would say.

"Uh...Sure..." I shrugged and stuck in another quarter in the slot and continued the game. I grabbed my Pepsi and gulped some, ignoring the slutty girl still stroking my hair like I was her boyfriend. People were chatting away at the other games as Kyo started on a new game machine.

"So...You wanna hook up?" She openly asked. I practically choked on my pop, then spat it out all over the video game screen.

"What the hell?" Kyo looked over and started laughing. I looked at the girl.

"Um...Is that really a question to be asking me?" I wiped the pop off my lips with my coat sleeve, eyes wide. I felt embarrassed, felt like everyone was staring at me in the mall arcade. I looked at Kyo who calmed down his laughter. Then at the girl.

"Of course, you do like women, don't you?" The girl asked. Was she a prostitute? I felt queezy at the thought of having sex with a girl who'd sell her body to anybody, as long as she'd get her money and pleasure. Mostly money though.

"Um...I...Uh...Actually, I'm saving that for someone special." I told her.

"Who?! Him?" The blonde looked at Kyo and pointed. My mind hatched an idea. If I told her I was interested in women, she probably wouldn't leave me alone. But maybe I could make her go away easier by saying something else.

"Actually...Yes. He and I are, _together."_ I looked at Kyo and smiled. I could tell Kyo's gut dropped just as I said this. His eyes gave this look like he was gonna throw up right then and there. The blonde looked dissappointed.

"Oh...I see...then, you're gay...Right?" She sighed.

"I'm terribly sorry..." I did my best to act like I was sorry. But Kyo's face looked so funny. I went over to Kyo and put my arm around him.

"Shall we go get some dinner my love?" I was actually enjoying grossing out Kyo. It was the BEST to see that look on his face. Though it was disturbing, it was funny! I needed a good laugh. Once we left the arcade and out of the blonde's sight, Kyo pushed me away and yelled "Get off!". I busted out laughing and held my gut because it hurt to laugh by that point.

"Dude, you're nasty! Ugh! Like I'd ever be gay with you!" Kyo stuck out his toungue and gave that gross look again.

"You should have seen your face when I told that slut you and I were together. You were speechless. Damn that was funny!" I laughed and caught my breath.

"It wasn't THAT funny you retard." Kyo ruffled his orange hair and his red eyes flared with embarrassment. He crossed his arms and shook his head.

"I know I'm a retard. A smart one anyway." I joked.

"What? How can you be a retard and smart at the same time?" Kyo said.

"When you're me, you can be anything you want to be." I laughed.

"Whatever, you're buying what we eat tonight since I had to pretend to be your man just now." Kyo threatened.

"On the house, man. We still buds?" I held out my hand. Kyo hesitated for a second and then he shook my hand.

"Buds..." Just after that, we heard someone yelling around in a nearby fast food place in the mall.

"Why do anorexics have to exsist?!" Was what I heard the loudest. Kyo and I peaked into the fast food place and saw a girl standing there ordering something. Her hair was about shoulder lenght, highlighted with lighter streaks than her haircolor, and she was wearing jeans and a black hoodie. Her combat boots made her almost as tall as Kyo. Shorter than me of course. The girl ordering spoke up.

"But there's no line." The girl said.

"Why do you gotta be a smart ass too?" The cashier lady snapped. What the hell was her problem? I looked at Kyo.

"Um, I wasn't being a smart ass. I was just saying--" The woman cut the girl off.

"Look, just freaking order something or I'll have to make you leave. We have the right to refuse service to anybody at any time. So hurry up and order." The woman was now getting on MY nerves.

"Don't you dare start another fight..." Kyo whispered to me as I walked forward.

"Don't worry, I'll handle this with dignity and no fights...But I can't guarentee that." I quickly said and walked up behind the girl to stand up for her.

"Hey, what the hell is the matter with you fast food people? Can't you see the girl's trying to decide what to order and here you are being a bitch to her." Eh, that wasn't really non-fightish sounding, but hey, at least I said it with dignity!

"Hey, you her boyfriend or what?" The old fast woman hissed at me. The girl didn't look around, she seemed surprised though.

"Hey, I'm just saying, you don't have to be so bitchy to a customer. No wonder there's nobody in here!" I laughed. I looked at Kyo. He rolled his red eyes at me and crossed his arms. He was probably thinking, _There he goes again._

"Come on, Haru, do you have to make such a big deal outta this?" Kyo finally spoke up. But I wasn't about ready to give in. I wanted this woman killed. Nah, that's a little harsh, maybe fired at the least.

"Yeah, I do, nobody should be treated like this, right? Um, what's your name?" I looked at the girl who was being harrassed while ordering. Then, my heart flipped over. She looked so familiar. Was she...? She couldn't be...

"Hey, do I know you?" I coudn't help but ask.

"No, I don't think so." She said, completely forgetting the situation she was in and walking out of the fast food place and into the mall. I looked at Kyo, he shrugged and I followed the girl.

"Hey, wait, aren't you hungry?" I stupidly asked. Heh, like she'd want to eat there after that lady bitched at her.

"No, I'm not anymore." This girl...She kind of sounded nervous. But I was persistant at finding out who she was. She definently couldn't be...

_her...could she? _I don't know, it could have just been her eyes that reminded me of...Isuzu...

_Isuzu..._

"No, really, you look familiar, sorry to change the subject, but, your eyes. They look so, so familiar." I felt I was freaking her out. I felt a little nervous too, so I put my hands in my pocket.

"Um, no I don't believe so. Um, I've never met you." She tried to hide her face from me. She kept turning corners and walking faster.

"Heh, but I could have sworn I met you before. Unless I'm hallucinating, you can't be, can you? What's your name?" Selflessly, I softly took her arm and she stopped in her tracks. She looked at me. She looked thoughtful for a minute. Then she spoke up.

"Rin...My name is Rin..." She barely whispered and then walked away.

"Oh...Then I guess I was mistaken..." I sighed, wanting her to say she was Isuzu. But she had to be. She looked exactly like Isuzu. The same eyes, the same skin color, the same hair color, aside from the hilights. She had to be Isuzu. Was she lying? Or was I just stupid? Kyo caught up to me.

"You a stalker now? Just let it go man, she's fine." He said, sighing.

"No, I can't let this go." I told him.

"What? She's just a girl. Plus, she didn't want to eat at that crap place anyway. That old woman was a bitch but still, let it go." Kyo said again.

"I don't mean _that. _I mean, her." I pointed to the girl who called herself Rin.

"Yeah okay, she's cute, but doesn't mean you should stalk her--" I cut him off.

"I don't mean that she's cute, I know her!" I finally said. "I can't let her go and she won't tell me who she really is."

"Oh, you know her? Heh, well I wouldn't tell you who I really was either because you probably are stalking her. That's why she left so quickly." Kyo laughed.

"Shut up, I mean, she's the girl who I told you about. The girl's step dad who I killed." I whispered.

"Oh...Ohhhhhhhhhh...Okay...Yeah, her. The girl you felt connected with. Yeah, I remember you telling me that. Very faint, but I remember. Maybe she knows it was you who killed him." Kyo shrugged.

"Can you be any louder?! We're in a mall! Be more secretive about that kind of thing. And no, I don't think she knows I did it. At least, it didn't seem like it. Anyway, we have to follow her. Find out more about her. Where she's staying." I could hear myself sound like a stalker by that point. It kind of sucked actually, since Kyo was calling me a stalker anyway.

"Gee, now you really do sound like a stalker. No wonder she's trying to get away." Kyo laughed again. I grabbed his collar, feeling a deep, dark side in me for a brief moment.

"Look here, I'm not trying to stalk her, I just want to know her...She was abused like me and it's rare to find someone like that." I think I even scared Kyo a bit. I let go of his collar and sighed hard. "I'm sorry...It's just...She has to be Isuzu. I mean, she's saying her name's Rin, but she's Isuzu, and I know it. I just have to find out for sure.

"Kill my too why don't you. Okay, okay, if you want to know her THAT badly then, let's see then. Or better yet, how about you go see and I go hit the arcade again." He sighed.

"Okay, if you want to be beaten up for being gay, be my guest." I shrugged.

"Shut up, I'm not gay! You're the one who said we were together!" Kyo pushed me.

"Let it go man, let it go." I laughed.

"Ugh, okay, I'll follow behind, but you have to go talk to her yourself." Kyo pushed me forward. By that time, Rin was out of sight.

"Damn, looks like we'll have to split up. Call me on my cell if you find her then tell me where abouts in the mall she is. I'll go left, you go right." I felt like a spy or something.

"Gee, you must really want to know this girl. Okay then, but don't blame me if you never see her again." Kyo walked off to the right of the mall. I went left towards some clothes stores then past Hot Topic. There, I spotted her, looking at the black jeans. She looked sad, and thoughtful. But mostly sad. I slowly went in. The girl running the store greeted me and I smiled at her then slowly pretended to look at Slipknot T-shirts while I watched Rin two aisles away. She sighed and looked around at the chain bracelets.

I kept a careful eye on her. I pretended to look at more T-shirts. Then I moved an aisle closer and picked up a CD and read the songs on the back. I looked up and Rin was looking at the shoes and boots. She was chewing on her nails and was deep in thought. Then she saw me. Shit. Crap, crap, crap, crap, what the hell do I do?! I looked down as if I didn't see her. I felt her staring at me. My palms started to sweat and my head burned. Damn it. I felt nervous at that point.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, she was right there next to me. I hadn't even noticed she came up. Damn.

"Were you following me?" She asked. The songs that played full blast in Hot Topic changed into a fast rock song. It was a song called "Run Run Run" by some band called High and Mighty Color, or something like that. I'd heard it millions of times on the radio.

"Um, no..." I lied.

"Yeah you were. What, are you stalking me?" She glared.

"No..." I put the CD down.

"Yeah you are. I can tell when a guy lies. I've been around guys who lie all the time." She glared harder.

"What, you've had a boyfriend that lied or something?" I asked rather rudly.

"Actually, yeah, sort of a boyfriend. He lied to me, that's how I can tell you're lying by that look in your eye." She looked me in the eye as if to prove a point. The lyrics blared from the speakers of Hot Topic.

_**I'm always bad at mornings  
Today I got up a little earlier  
I'll open up the window of this small room wide  
I've come to love you so much it makes me cry  
I'll put all my energy into having fun  
I'm clumsy at this, so I'll say it again and again, I love you!**_

"And you're basing one bad seed to judge other guys? Now you think all guys are liars?" I asked, acting like a smart ass. I quickly regretted what I just said.

"I guess I am. Most guys are perves and liars." Rin shook her head, as if to shame me for my gender.

"You a sexist or what?" I asked, feeling a little angry.

_**On this blue earth  
I found you, lala, I'm so happy  
Let's run now, without any fear  
Under this bright sky  
There's a moment we can't control  
Connecting you to something inside me  
We mustn't overlook it**_

"No, just careful of who I meet." Rin kept her stare. I was a little annoyed by what song was playing, since it was far from what was going on now. But the chorus was pretty interesting. So I listened to the lyrics of the song until it was finished.

_**Go go go yeah  
Go go run and jump  
Go go go yeah  
Go go jumpin' up high  
Rush to you rush to you**_

Go go go yeah  
Go go run and jump  
Go go go yeah  
Go go jumpin' up high  
Rush to you rush to you

_**Now I'm running to you!  
I won't stop! Nothing can stop me now  
Take a deep breath and jump high!  
On this blue earth  
I found you, lala, I'm so happy  
Let's run now, without any fear  
Don't stop  
The sun that shines on us so bright!  
Come on, get up!   
The sky's blue  
Don't give up yet**_

After the song ended, I wondered what this guy did to her to make her so angry at all guys.

"So what did this boyfriend do to you to make you believe all guys are liars?" I asked, wondering where this conversation had led to.

"He hurt me, he lied to me, he--wait, I don't have to tell you, a complete stranger." She shook her head again and walked off. I followed her out into the mall again, just like before.

"Hey, wait, what did he do though?" I stupid pryed.

"I don't have to tell you, okay? I don't even know you!" She practically yelled.

"Yeah you do..." I smartly said.

"Ugh, here we go again about that 'haven't I seen you somwhere before' thing." She rolled her eyes and picked up her pace.

"All the more to spill out your feelings, right?" I smartly stated. She stopped in her tracks and looked at me strangly.

"What do you mean?" She glared, rasing one eyebrow.

"I mean, we don't know each other, and we probably will never see each other again. It's like a chat room. When you're feeling down, you find someone who will listen and you don't know who they are, so you pour your heart out to them. Because you'll never talk again." I knew I sounded stupid, but I wanted to get closer to her somehow, to see if she'd tell me who she really was. Unless I was being a retard.

"Are you stupid or something?" She rolled her eyes and walked off.

"Wait...Come on, can't you just tell me that you and I met before? I know you, I know I do." I had to get it out of her.

"No you don't, now leave me alone." She glared and walked faster.

"Come on, Isuzu, come back." I said the name. It had to be her because she stopped dead in her tracks.

"My name's Rin...I told you before. Now leave me alone!" She gently shoved me and walked off once again. I sighed. Damn this girl was stubborn. But I had to get close to her, one way or another. Because since she was stubborn, her and I were of the same mind.

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	18. No Longer

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**Once again, I apologize for the very long delay in this fic. But it's been a while since I've written so forgive me if this chapter is boring. I'm writing as much as I can, so please give me time. And I'm still up for ideas for this fic! Love all you loyal fans. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", and the ending song is "Change", both are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR.

**Chapter Preview:** _That was it, he called me by my real name. No, by my old name. That was no longer who I was. I was no longer the girl who was abused by her step father. No longer the girl who lost her mother to suicide. Suddenly, I could feel the cuts on my arm burn. The burning of the painful memories of my past came to mind._

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Isuzu's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::XVIII::**

"**No Longer"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

I turned away, and surprisingly, he just let me walk away. That was easy to get rid of him, but I couldn't have him knowing I was really who he thought I was. Maybe, if I kept telling him I wasn't Isuzu, then he'd back off. I could only hope he wouldn't follow me, but that was only hoping. I turned and saw him standing there, talking to his orange haired friend. I took this as an opportunity to turn a corner. I ran off and sighed. Finally, away from that stupid Haru dude.

I looked to my left and saw a Hot Topic and decided to hide out in there. Since I was wearing dark colors, nobody would really care if I was in there. This Hot Topic reminded me of Keiko and Chai, when we used to be friends and shop at a mall similar to this one. I decided to browse around, just long enough until Haru left.

Then I realized that this was actually reality. I was actually here, away from home. And to find out that my step dad was..._murdered _by somebody the night I ran away. What would happen if I was found? Is this how I would live from now on? On my own? I couldn't go back, there was no way I'd go back. And I couldn't go back to Uotani nor could I go back to Hatori's house. And who knew where Hanajima was. And Tohru...Wherever she was, there was no way I'd see her every again. I couldn't see anybody.

I was Rin now, no matter what. No more Isuzu, my past was the past. I decided to finally let it go and then sighed away my past mistakes. This would be my new life. Running and running is what I would do from now on. I spotted some black jeans and pretended to look at them. The girl at the front welcomed somebody, but I dare not look, just in case it was Haru. I sighed and moved over to some chain bracelets then at some boots and shoes. I looked at my nails. They were so dirty. I then realized I probably needed to wash my hands.

I heard my stomach growl. Damn was I hungry. And Haru had to make a scene after I tried to order at that fast food place. But then again...He was only trying to protect me. I selflessly started to chew on my nails. I felt grossed out by my own actions and turned around to leave the shop to wash my hands when I spotted him. Haru. Damn it, he found me! He looked surprised and looked down, acting like I didn't even see him. Did he think I was THAT stupid?! I stared at him, feeling a little angry that he followed me.

I stomped over to him and glared up at him. He looked at me and gave a nervous look. Busted, Hatsuharu. I decided to state the obvious. He _was _following me!

"Were you following me?" I snapped.

"Um, no..." he began to squirm, and by that point, I felt invinvible.

"Yeah you were. What, are you stalking me?" I also wondered what he was thinking by that point. He set down the CD he was looking at and let out a faint "No," then looked away.

"Yeah you are. I can tell when a guy lies. I've been around guys who lie all the time." I gave the meanest glare I could, thinking about all the guys that have lied to me before.

"What, you've had a boyfriend that lied or something?" Haru surprisingly asked. Damn, could he see right through me? Kazuo, the guy who got me pregnant once on accident then killed the baby later on, came to mind. I felt myself start to talk to Haru, as if I actually trusted him with this secret.

"Actually, yeah, sort of a boyfriend. He lied to me, that's how I can tell you're lying by that look in your eye." I looked him in the eye.

"And you're basing one bad seed to judge other guys? Now you think all guys are liars?" He asked, chewing on his lip.

"I guess I am. Most guys are perves and liars." I shook my head, but it seemed he took it the wrong way. He looked offended.

"You a sexist or what?" There was slight anger in his voice.

"No, just careful of who I meet." I held my stare, to show him I wasn't backing down from what I just said about all guys being liars and perves.

"So what did this boyfriend do to you to make you believe all guys are liars?" he asked, very nosily. I felt a little annoyed, wanting to punch him...And yet...Wanting to tell him everything...Strangly. But why? It's not like he was talking to Isuzu anymore. He was talking to someone he just met...Named Rin...Not Isuzu anymore.

"He hurt me, he lied to me, he--wait, I don't have to tell you, a complete stranger." I shook my head, refusing to tell him the rest.

"Hey, wait, what did he do though?" Damn, was this guy ever nosy?

"I don't have to tell you, okay? I don't even know you!" I hissed back as I walked out of Hot Topic.

"Yeah you do..." he called after me.

"Ugh, here we go again about that 'haven't I seen you somwhere before' thing." I rolled my eyes and decided to speed up a little.

"All the more to spill out your feelings, right?" Why was he so persistant?

"What do you mean?" I glared at him, thoughtfully.

"I mean, we don't know each other, and we probably will never see each other again. It's like a chat room. When you're feeling down, you find someone who will listen and you don't know who they are, so you pour your heart out to them. Because you'll never talk again." Was this guy retarded or something? Why was I even worth his time to follow me and preach about a stupid chat room?!

"Are you stupid or something?" I closed the conversation and walked off once again.

"Wait...Come on, can't you just tell me that you and I met before? I know you, I know I do." What the hell was the matter with him?! Why did he want to know me this badly?

"No you don't, now leave me alone." I sped up again, hoping he'd leave me alone.

"Come on, Isuzu, come back." That was it, he called me by my real name. No, by my old name. That was no longer who I was. I was no longer the girl who was abused by her step father. No longer the girl who lost her mother to suicide. Suddenly, I could feel the cuts on my arm burn. The burning of the painful memories of my past came to mind.

"My name's Rin...I told you before. Now leave me alone!" I gently shoved him and walked away, faster and faster, feeling my heart beating. Would he get mad? No, he didn't seem like that type if he wanted to know me that badly, could he? I headed for the girls bathroom, this time, he wouldn't follow me. I leaned against the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't even look like myself anymore. Well, at least I didn't think so. A girl flushed the toilet and came out. She had medium lengthed brown hair and wore a white hoodie with jeans.

She washed her hands and glanced at me as she did. She gave a faint smile. I looked at her and gave a faint smile also.

"Get lost?" she asked, out of nowhere. I looked at her.

"What?" I asked.

"Get lost, in this mall, I mean. It is rather big. I've gotten lost in here lots of times, regardless of me living here. It's kind of sad actually." she gave a small giggle and wiped her hands.

"Um...Yeah, um, no, not really. I just came in here to freshen up," I said, beginning to wash my hands too.

"I see...Well, no destination, huh? I kind of feel like that at times too...I mean, just the other day, my boyfriend and I were walking in the park and he told me he loved me. He said he wanted to marry me, but I told him I have no destination in my life. I told him we were too young to think about that, and he just smiled and accepted that I'd take whatever road was in front of me..." Why? Why was this girl talking to me like she knew me all of a sudden?

"I see...Well, I guess everybody feels like that. Things in life don't make sense, so we take the road closet to us. Is that what you're saying?" I asked.

"Yeah, like, why he chose me to be his girl. I mean, he's the 'prince' of our high school, the hottie on campus, and yet he chose me: boring girl of the school. Why me?" This girl wasn't making sense, but I guess we all have our days.

"Why are you talking to me?" I rudly asked.

"Well...That's a good question. I guess it's because you're in here and I'm taking the road closet to me. I believe the wind carries you wherever it wants to. So I took the opportunity to talk to you." She shrugged and gave a small smile. She kind of reminded me of Tohru.

"Oh...I guess. Well, anyway...I'd better get going..." I said, about to walk out.

"Wait...First, what's your name?" She asked. I turned to her.

"Rin...My name's Rin." I said, feeling like I was no longer Isuzu anymore.

"That's a pretty name. My name's Machi..." She smiled and walked out before me. I sighed, feeling stupid I just shafted her off. Maybe there was a reason for everything. Maybe there was a reason Haru saved me that night those gang members tried to rape me for being on their turf. And maybe there was a reason...That he and I kept running into each other, no matter how far I run. I walked out of the bathroom and there he stood, right by the door.

"Ugh, you just don't give up do you?" I said in a calmer voice. I was calmed down...Why did I keep pushing him away? Was it that maybe, just maybe, there definently _was _a reason he and I kept running into each other. And maybe there was a reason he kept following me around. I mean, he said he was abused like I was. So could that possibly be the reason he's so persistant in knowing me? But I was Rin, no Isuzu anymore. I promised myself that I'd start a new life, that I'd find my own way.

"Nope, I'm Hatsuharu, I never give up." He lamely said, grinning.

"So waiting by a mall's girls restroom is 'not giving up', eh?" I laughed.

"You could say that!" he grinned again and slowly followed me as I walked by a huge flower shop. The smell of flowers lured me. I looked at Haru and ran into the huge flower shop. He followed after. Once I entered, there was a huge gate leading into a flower garden maze. The cashier smiled at us at her flower covered desk.

"Wow, we usually don't get customers around this time of year." She smiled and bowed.

"Really? This is really beautiful..." I said, taken aback by the flowers' beauty. I wanted so badly to enter the flower garden maze.

"May we?" Haru asked, pointing at the gates leading into the maze.

"Sure thing, it costs ten dollars to enter, but for you, it's free since you two look so cute together!" the cashier smiled. I felt my cheeks go hot.

"Wait, we're not a--" I shut Haru's mouth with my hand, still wanting so badly to enter the garden maze.

"Sure thanks, come on Haru!" I pulled him into the gates and they shut behind us. It was dark and soon, some white decorative lights lit up the maze. Flowers of all kinds surrounded us from top to bottom. I was amazed. I haven't seen something this beautiful since...Never I guess.

"So you go from hating me to being my girlfriend, eh? That's a huge moodswing there, I gotta admit!" Haru laughed.

"Shut up, Haru," I said, gently pushing him.

"Ah, so I have a question for you..." Haru said, smiling as we walked slowly through the maze garden.

"What?" I dreamily asked, still taking in how beautiful this garden was.

"Why do you call me Haru?" he asked, raising one eyebrow. His electric blue eyes glowed in the dimmed light.

"What? That's your name, isn't it?" I stupidly said, stopping to smell some orchids alongside the maze's wall.

"Well, I did say my name was Hatsuharu, but you chose to nickname me Haru...Just like...Isuzu did." Haru smiled slyly. I decided to take advantage of this, just to make it seem like I really wasn't Isuzu.

"And what else did this Isuzu girl say?" I asked, slowly walking along and turning around a corner.

"Well, she acted stubborn, exactly like you were earlier when I was accusing you of being her. And you and her seem to have the same exact eyes. Oh yeah, and the same voice. So I'm either drunk or high, or you're Isuzu...Not Rin..." Haru was clever, regardless of his unique appearance.

"How did you meet this Isuzu girl?" I cleverly asked back.

"Ah...How did I meet her? That was complicated...I actually saved her. She was going to be hurt by a gang. And I just couldn't stand by and watch. I know what gangs do to girls like her. They rape and kill without a trace. For no reason at all. And when I found out that she was abused...By her step father...I knew there was a connection..." Haru's eyes suddenly glistened in the dimmed light. I could remember that night...The night he saved me...No...The night he saved...Isuzu...Not Rin. I shook my head out of it and looked up at him. He was so close to me.

"I see...And what happened then?" I almost whispered. I wanted so badly to tell him that 'yes, it was me! I'm who you think I am...'. But no...I couldn't. I was no longer that girl.

"I guess...I thought that I'd never see her again...But here you are--" I cut him off.

"Just drop that, okay? I'm not her...I'm...not Isuzu...My name is Rin...Rin Kagura...I'm Isuzu's twin..." What the hell was I saying?! That lamely I came up with a story?!

"What? But you can't be..." he looked surprised.

"Believe it, I left Isuzu behind, I hate her, she was worthless...Now leave me alone...I'm not her!" I said, in a surprisingly believable way. I walked away down the maze and eventually lost him. I felt the tears sting in my eyes.

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	19. Strangers

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**Thanks for your review, RinHaru4Ever! Anyways, still up for more ideas loyal readers. Enjoy this chappie.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "Insomnia", and the ending song is "Change", both are by HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR.

**Chapter Preview:** _"Well...Isuzu did tell me that our stupid step father abused us. And well...I guess I just didn't want to believe her, because all I cared about was myself. Isuzu was...stupid herself..." a tear formed in Rin's eyes. She looked down and sniffled and thought for a second. _

_"And?" I pushed her to continue, still needing to be convinced that she was Isuzu's twin sister, not Isuzu._

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Haru's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::XIX::**

"**Strangers"**

xxxxx

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...  
Days burn out, scenes burn out**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into sadness  
I hope no more**_

_**Burning into mind, burned into...Burn**_

_**Burning memory, no more burned  
We are burned into cry**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

_**We go Burning history now, we are stopping now  
Burning for...**_

_**I certainly won't sleep tonight, I'll remember what happened that day  
My world disappears, leaving my heart aching**_

_**How many times will I have to see that you're not there, as the winter nights come along  
Even if the memories fade, my heart will still be left aching**_

xxxxx

"No you don't, now leave me alone." Rin said as she quickly walked off. I watched her as I realized that...We were of the same mind. I mean, we were both stubborn. I caught up to her to see if I can convince her that I wasn't such a bad guy after all. But it seems she took it the wrong way.

"Come on, Isuzu, come back." I called her by the name she refused to be called by. I mean, she HAD to be Isuzu! There was no doubt about that. But why did she keep denying it? She winced at the name and turned to me.

"My name's Rin...I told you before. Now leave me alone!"she gently shoved me and walked off. I followed behind her, but it seems she found a way to get away from me. The girls bathroom. Damn, now what was I suppose to do? Wait for her? I leaned against the wall as an orange haired Kyo came up to me.

"I couldn't find her, could you? Wait, why are you by the girls bathroom?" Kyo asked, looking at the sign above the door.

"Oh, Rin--erm, Isuzu went in here." I shrugged.

"So, like the stalker you are, you wait for her? That's messed up...Anyway, so she kept saying her name was Rin, no Isuzu, man let her go! It's not her!" Kyo rolled his red orbs at me and crossed his arms. I stood up straight from leaning against the wall.

"Shaddup man, you wouldn't know since you've never even seen her before!" I hissed back. "Now, go to a shop so when she comes out, I can talk to her some more." I felt as if this was an obsession. Like, I needed to know her...Or...I'd die!

"Whatever, stalker!" Kyo walked off.

"Whatever, gay!" I laughed after him but he turned the corner. I laughed and leaned back against the wall. About five minutes later, Kyo's cousin's girlfriend came out. It was Machi, Yuki's girl.

"Small world, eh?" I said. She looked at me strangly.

"Um...You here to look for me?" Machi asked.

"Not really..." I replied.

"Oh, where's Kyo? Are you two here looking for Yuki?" She asked, quiet voiced.

"Eh? Nope, just waitin' for someone..." I lamely said.

"Oh, then, I'll be on my way, see you later, Hatsuharu..." Machi walked away. I shrugged and soon, Isuzu came out.

"Ugh, you just don't give up do you?" She said in a calmer voice than her angry voice.

"Nope, I'm Hatsuharu, I never give up." I stupidly remarked. She wasn't impressed.

"So waiting by a mall's girls restroom is 'not giving up', eh?" She laughed, sounding a little--Was I hearing _flirting_ from her voice? I decided to go along with it, because girls do moodswing!

"You could say that!" I smiled huge as she walked away. I followed, of course. She seemed to be drawn to a big flower store not to far away from where we were. She looked at me as if to tell me she was going into the flower store. I followed her into the store where the lady person stood, guess it was the cashier or something. The place was packed with millions of kinds of flowers! Damn, hope there wasn't any cotton flowers, I was alergic. I looked to the left of the store and saw some gates that led to an indoor flower garden maze type thing.

"Wow, we usually don't get customers around this time of year." the lady at the front bowed, giving a huge grin.

"Really? This is really beautiful..." Isuzu or um...Rin said, looking amazed by all the colors of the flowers everywhere. My mind hatched an idea. Maybe I could butter up Rin slash Isuzu and get her to confess that she was really Isuzu!

"May we?" I asked, pointing my finger to the gates leading into the maze.

"Sure thing, it costs ten dollars to enter, but for you, it's free since you two look so cute together!" the lady smiled. I looked at Rin. She was blushing. It was either that I was so good looking or she was embarrassed to be with me in the same store, being mistaken for her boyfriend.

"Wait, we're not a--" I was about to finish, but Rin's soft hand slapped over my mouth. Ah, so she _did _want to enter the maze garden that badly eh? I did butter her up!

"Sure thanks, come on Haru!" She pulled me into the gates, as if we _were _a couple. My stupid heart flipped over as she led me farther into the maze. It was dark yet soon lit up by some dimmed white lights. Kind of like Christmas lights but...Ugh, you know what the hell I mean. Flowers covered the cieling of the maze and the maze's walls themselves. And the smells of different flowers entered my senses.

"So you go from hating me to being my girlfriend, eh? That's a huge moodswing there, I gotta admit!" I laughed, regretting my stupidity.

"Shut up, Haru," she said, slowly pushing me. Was this counted as flirting?

"Ah, so I have a question for you..." I asked, as the both of us slowly walked down the maze, turing corners without a care.

"What?" she asked, seeming to be in a daze.

"Why do you call me Haru?" I asked, rasing one of my eyebrows. It did seem strange when she called me Haru, that's what Isuzu called me. Wait, what the hell am I saying?! This WAS ISUZU standing next to me.

"What? That's your name, isn't it?" She said, stopping to look at some white orchids.

"Well, I did say my name was Hatsuharu, but you chose to nickname me Haru...Just like...Isuzu did." I smiled, hoping to catch her in her own white lie. Why didn't she want me to know who she really was?!

"And what else did this Isuzu girl say?" she asked, giving a small smile and turning a corner. I followed and decided to answer, as if we were talking about another person, when we were really talkinga about her.

"Well, she acted stubborn, exactly like you were earlier when I was accusing you of being her. And you and her seem to have the same exact eyes. Oh yeah, and the same voice. So I'm either drunk or high, or you're Isuzu...Not Rin..." I said, feeling smart for once.

"How did you meet this Isuzu girl?" she seemingly asked cleverly.

"Ah...How did I meet her? That was complicated...I actually saved her. She was going to be hurt by a gang. And I just couldn't stand by and watch. I know what gangs do to girls like her. They rape and kill without a trace. For no reason at all. And when I found out that she was abused...By her step father...I knew there was a connection..." I felt my eyes water a little. She looked to be thinking deeply.

"I see...And what happened then?" she whispered. I answered her back.

"I guess...I thought that I'd never see her again...But here you are--" I cut him off.

"Just drop that, okay? I'm not her...I'm...not Isuzu...My name is Rin...Rin Kagura...I'm Isuzu's twin..." What the hell?!

"What? But you can't be..." I gave a surprised look.

"Believe it, I left Isuzu behind, I hate her, she was worthless...Now leave me alone...I'm not her!" I shook my head, wondering what bull shit story she was thinking of!

I couldn't believe what she just said. Isuzu's sister? What the hell kind of lie was that? I moved closer to her and she kind of backed off and against the flowered wall of the maze. I raised my eyebrow.

"What the hell are you even saying? You've gotta be shittin' me. Come on, after all that, you're saying you're Isuzu's twin sister named Rin Kagura? Come on, tell me that sounds like bull shit. You know it sounds like bulls hit because it _is _bull shit!" I started to laugh; still unable to believe what she had just threw on me.

"Um...Well, _yeah, _how isn't that not sound like bull crap. Of course I couldn't tell you earlier because you wouldn't believe me!" now she was defenintly bull crapping. me.

"Come on, Isuzu--erm, Rin...All that time, you look exactly like Isuzu and you kept denying that you weren't, then NOW you say you're her twin sister?! That is pure bull!" I turned around and looked at the ground, hands on my waist. I sighed hard and turned back to her. She turned away and looked down and started to laugh. "Oh, now you're laughing?! Am I that funny or what?" I laughed along too, wondering what she was laughing about anyway.

"Oh my gosh, you are funny, Hatsuharu. Of course I look exactly like Isuzu. Like I said before, I left her behind and never want to see her again. She's useless and...Stupid. She couldn't do anything right and...Well...I don't know...You know what?! You make me frustrated, Haru. I hate that." She sighed hard and walked down some more of the flower garden maze.

"Wait, okay, you're confusing me too. Okay, so the Isuzu I met was your twin sister, right? So, where do you fit into this, and where were you this whole time she was in trouble?" This was rather kind of fishy. Obviously unrealistic, but, hey, I guess if I seem like THAT much of a stalker, other girls would probably do it too. I mean, I have been called a stalker, what? At least ten times by Kyo and five by Isuzu--erm, Rin.

"Trouble? What, you mean our idiotic step father? Well...I was...Away. I am nineteen, Isuzu's seventeen, which means I'm out of high school and so...She's in high schoo, therefore, she has to live with a guardian." Rin was horrible at lying, you could tell by her pauses and "ums".

"I see...Well, then...This all kind of sounds like a bunch of bull, so why do you hate her then, and why did you let her get abused?" I asked, wondering when this crap would end. I mean, it was just all so confusing. She looked like she was thinking a bit. She sat down on a little park-looking bench in a corner. She started to fiddle with the thistle blossoms along the wall.

"Well...Isuzu did tell me that our stupid step father abused us. And well...I guess I just didn't want to believe her, because all I cared about was myself. Isuzu was...stupid herself..." a tear formed in Rin's eyes. She looked down and sniffled and thought for a second.

"And?" I pushed her to continue, still needing to be convinced that she was Isuzu's twin sister, not Isuzu.

"And she told me when he hurt her...she felt like she did something wrong...That she deserved to be hurt by him. But I refused to listen because...Because I guess...I blamed Isuzu for our mothers suicide..." A full tear fell down Rin's cheek. She wiped it away and stood up and looked away from me. I swallowed.

"Your mother...killed herself?" I stupidly asked.

"Yeah, that's what I said wasn't it?!" she weakly yelled, her voice cracking.

"I'm...I'm sorry..." I said, thinking of my own mother.

"No...It's fine...I guess ever since our mother killed herself...I was never able to forgive Isuzu for her selfishness. But she's a thing of my past. I never want to see her again, I want to forget her. I don't even know if she's still alive, since...Our step father is dead now..." Damn it...Rin's words stabbed my in the chest...Hard...How the hell did Rin find out about that?!

"Dead? How do you know?" I said, hearing my voice shutter.

"Dead, as in he's dead. How you might ask? He was murdered...So...Good ridance. He deserved to die for the shit he put us through..." Rin sighed, her tears fully falling down her face. I walked a little closer.

"Murdered, huh? How did you hear about that?" I asked, convinced that she knew it wasn't me that...killed him...

"It's a long story...And I don't want to have to replay those horrid memories through my wounded mind. Anyway...why am I even talking to you? You're a dummy who thinks I'm Isuzu. Well, I'm not stupid like her, like I used to be..." she wiped away all her tears and turned to me. I came a little closer to her.

"So, were you abused by your step father too?" I stupid pryed.

"What? Of course I was, didn't you hear me?! He put me AND my sister Isuzu through that crap! But why am I even telling you this stuff? You don't even know how it feels to be abused..." she sighed. So that was it...I guess she really _was _telling me the truth. She wasn't Isuzu. That convinced me...I sighed and walked closer.

"Stay away from me...Or you'll be hurt..." she said in a strange tone.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean...I don't want to see you again. I don't want to make any new friends..." she glared at me, her eyes red and watery.

"New friends huh? Well, so I am worthy enough to be a friend to you, eh? That settles it. You and Isuzu are alike in many ways. But you hate her, and can't forgive her. Hm...I guess I felt connected to Isuzu, like I do to you. Because I was abused like you and Isuzu were. I was hurt by my own mother...It's like she caged me my whole life as a young boy...It's like, she controlled my every move, and my dad did nothing but watch as she hit me for no damn reason...Sounds lame huh? A boy being abused by his own mother. But, I guess it was because I wasn't a girl. She wanted a daughter...Not a son..." I sighed and set my hands in my pockets and looked at the thistle blossoms next to Rin.

She was silent and I walked closer. She backed away again.

"Why are you so afraid to get closer to another soul? Another soul that's been abused like you. And, did you run away from your home town? Did you run away from Isuzu?" I asked, smiling a little.

"Shut up, you don't know anything!" She yelled. I eyed the thistle blossoms.

"You're like the thistle blossoms, is that what you're trying to say?" I cheesily said, but this girl needed caring for.

"What?" she sniffled. She then looked at the thistle blossoms.

"The thistle blossoms. They have scratchy thorns, and if I touched them, I'd bleed. You'd hurt me. But then again...They have those beautiful pink blossoms growing on them. It's like lightning, it's beautiful, yet dangerous. And snow. It's radiant in all it's colorlessness and bright, and yet it's so cold, it can freeze you..." I backed away from her and gave a weak smile.

"Isn't this talk getting too deep for two strangers?" she asked, giving a cautious look.

"Yeah, it is a little too deep, but...Still, when someone's hurting, even a stranger is good enough to help out...You try to find a friendly face in a crowded place, when you're hurting..." I looked down, remembering my junior high days. I can remember that day so clearly. It was a Friday, the best day of the week...I went to school like always, and even though the halls were crowded and I had no friends, I tried to find someone, anyone to help me through. It was because on that very day, my mother hit me and burned my back with a candle lighter. It hurt...emotionally and physically. I looked at Rin.

Without realizing it, she was a little closer to me.

"I can't seem to tell right now...But you do seem sincere in wanting to help me. But I can't trust you..." she sighed.

"But you can get to." I smiled. She thought for a second. She shook her head.

"No...I can't...I won't allow myself to trust anybody. It's nothing personal, Hatsuharu, but I don't think--" I cut her off, unable to control myself. With that, I pulled her into my arms. Into an embrace.

"Hatsu...Haru?" She said, probably taken aback by my embrace.

"Even strangers need a friendly embrace...And even though we are strangers...I feel a strange connection to you...Like I did with your sister, Isuzu..."

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

_**I'm used to always seeing you smile, but what are you staring at today?  
"Did something happen?" I search your face for that smile**_

_**The darkness is deep within you, and you can't fix it right away  
I'll be here by your side, so go ahead and cry if you want  
We'll wait untill the light shines through, together**_

"_**I can't go because I'm alone" that's how you thought up untill now  
Whenever you're hurting, I'll be by your side**_

_**I tell you that you're kind in an istant, hoping that it could lift your heart  
Whatever obstacles we encounter, we can overcome them  
Thank you for being here with me**_

_**Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Take my hand, do your best  
Let's make your greatest days  
Yes, we won't let you sink  
Well, we'll always see your smile yo my friend  
It's you that I'm here here for!  
Naked eyes, naked mind  
I don't wanna see your tears more  
Let me know, ya let you go  
Now spit out the feelings you've been keeping inside**_

_**Wherever you are, when you look up at the heavens, you'll hear our promise  
in a loud voice "Forever and always, you can become stronger!"**_

_**The clouds in the sky will seem to be running, as the sunlight pours down on you  
What do you think will happen when we see you smile again?  
Surely, we'll all be smiling when that happens**_

_**You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other  
You can change your self, I can change my self  
You and I can change each other**_

xxxxx


	20. For Once In My Life

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**This flirty chapter's just for you Morgan! Keep on reading my loyal readers and awesome non-reviewers! Love ya no matter what. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "The Rain Leaves a Scar" by L'arcenCiel, and the ending song is "Criminal" by Ayumi Hamasaki. Insert song is "Flower Garden", also by Ayumi Hamasaki.

**Chapter Preview:** _Why did he want to care about someone like me? I've sinned so much. And I've never helped anybody and yet…I felt…I don't know…Relieved. This was different from Tohru's caring about me. That was a sisterly love. And Haru hugging me and him telling me all this stuff…It felt like I had a friend again…_

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Isuzu's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::XX::**

"**For Once In My Life"**

xxxxx

_**The short-lived bouquet burnt out**_

_**Withered by the cold flames that night**_

_**My beloved, where am I?**_

_**Covered in sediment, I can't break free**_

_**I feel ou in that flickering brightness**_

_**When I awoke in the morning, a warm rain**_

_**That had forgotten how to stop poured down**_

_**That gently erases the noise, but**_

_**Why doesn't it wash me away?**_

_**Ah, I felt you in that flickering brightness**_

_**You once overflowed in my hand**_

_**But now I can't see you**_

_**My voice is being shut off**_

_**I can't shout anything**_

_**Buried in the crowd**_

_**Tell me**_

_**Where I am now?**_

_**Why can't i get out here?**_

_**Why can't I get out here?**_

_**Ah, I felt you in that flickering brightness**_

_**But now I can't tie you down**_

_**Everything sways fleetingly**_

_**You once overflowed in my hand**_

_**But now I can't see you**_

_**Now knowing a way to escape**_

_**I can't even say goodbye**_

_**My voice is being shut off**_

_**I can't shout anything**_

_**Buried in the crowd**_

_**Tell me...**_

_**Where am I now?**_

xxxxx

"I'm Rin Kagura, Isuzu's twin sister. I left her behind because I hate her and never want to see her again." I flat out said. I turned and sighed, feeling a little relieved about lying to him. Then again, I felt a little guilty. I looked to see his emotion. He was…Surprised, like he couldn't believe what I had just said to him.

"What the hell are you even saying? You've gotta be shittin' me. Come on, after all that, you're saying you're Isuzu's twin sister named Rin Kagura? Come on, tell me that sounds like bull shit. You know it sounds like bulls hit because it _is _bull shit!" and to my surprise, he began to laugh like the idiot he is!

"Um...Well, _yeah, _how doesn't that not sound like bull crap. Of course I couldn't tell you earlier because you wouldn't believe me!" I said, still unsure of what I was actually saying. I felt a nervousness come over me.

"Come on, Isuzu--erm, Rin...All that time, you look exactly like Isuzu and you kept denying that you weren't, then NOW you say you're her twin sister?! That is pure bull!" He turned away fo r a minute, then looked at me again, hands on his waist. I took this opportunity to confuse him even more. I began to laugh too. "Oh, now you're laughing?! Am I that funny or what?" he asked, confusingly. I sighed as he laughed too.

"Oh my gosh, you are funny, Hatsuharu. Of course I look exactly like Isuzu. Like I said before, I left her behind and never want to see her again. She's useless and...Stupid. She couldn't do anything right and...Well...I don't know...You know what?! You make me frustrated, Haru. I hate that." I sighed and walked away. A sudden thought came to mind as I looked at the dimmed lights around me in this maze. I looked at him and realized…It was most likely that I wouldn't be able to get rid of him. He'd always be there wherever I went.

"Wait, okay, you're confusing me too. Okay, so the Isuzu I met was your twin sister, right? So, where do you fit into this, and where were you this whole time she was in trouble?" Damn it, Haru was asking all these detailed questions. I didn't even have this whole twin sister bull crap planned out either. I just winged it to get Haru away from me and yet it's gotten to bother me even more now. Ugh, now I was caught in a tangled web of endless lies! I turned to him and raised my eyebrow.

"Trouble? What, you mean our idiotic step father? Well...I was...Away. I am nineteen, Isuzu's seventeen, which means I'm out of high school and so...She's in high school, therefore, she has to live with a guardian." He could tell I was nervous. I could too. I even lied about my age. I wasn't nineteen, but how would he know? I guess he was stupid enough to think we were both different ages if I said we were twins. But he didn't seem to notice.

"I see...Well, then...This all kind of sounds like a bunch of bull, so why do you hate her then, and why did you let her get abused?" I looked down. Why _did_ I let myself get abused? Why didn't I stop my step father all those times? I mean, yeah, before I ran away, I didn't let him rape me again. I ran and ran, and yet the times before that, I just let him. The time when he raped me in the bathroom while I was getting ready for school. The time he hit me. And I can even remember what I used to help me with my pain… I cut…I felt my arms beneath my hoodie. Haru didn't seem to notice. I sat down on a park bench. I thought up another lie.

"Well...Isuzu did tell me that our stupid step father abused us. And well...I guess I just didn't want to believe her, because all I cared about was myself. Isuzu was...stupid herself..." I felt a tear fall down my cheek. Why was I crying? I was usually able to keep in my tears when I was around people. But why was I crying around Haru?

"And?" he pressured me to go on. I looked at him for a second. His features made my heart flip. But why? I barely knew him…or did I? It seemed I knew him more than I even knew. I continued on.

"And she told me when he hurt her...she felt like she did something wrong...That she deserved to be hurt by him. But I refused to listen because...Because I guess...I blamed Isuzu for our mothers suicide..." I wiped away a tear and stood up and looked at him. I guess in a way, I wasn't really lying, because I did feel like every time my step dad hit me, I did something wrong. I felt I deserved it. I felt abandoned by God, like I was meant to be hurt because I wasn't good enough. And when I would try and tell myself it wasn't my fault, I refused to believe that. And I blamed myself for my mother's suicide. I still do.

"Your mother...killed herself?" Haru asked in a concerned voice.

"Yeah, that's what I said wasn't it?!" I snapped at him, yet my voice cracked some.

"I'm...I'm sorry..." he said, thinking some.

"No...It's fine...I guess ever since our mother killed herself...I was never able to forgive Isuzu for her selfishness. But she's a thing of my past. I never want to see her again, I want to forget her. I don't even know if she's still alive, since...Our step father is dead now..." My words seemed to shock Haru. I looked away. That was the truth too…I can never forgive my selfishness and I never want to see the old me again. Isuzu.

"Dead? How do you know?" he asked, his voice cracking. What was he nervous about?

"Dead, as in he's dead. How you might ask? He was murdered...So...Good riddance. He deserved to die for the shit he put us through..." I sighed, fully crying by now. I didn't want to tell Haru the whole story of that damn asylum story, where the so called counselor told me my step father was dead. At least, I think that's where I heard it, I can't even remember now. But I felt my heart pounding, feeling hurt.

"Murdered, huh? How did you hear about that?" he asked, suddenly in a calm voice. Calmer than from before.

"It's a long story...And I don't want to have to replay those horrid memories through my wounded mind. Anyway...why am I even talking to you? You're a dummy who thinks I'm Isuzu. Well, I'm not stupid like her, like I used to be..." I hid my face with my bangs. I wanted so much to live a different life, and yet here Haru was ruining my chances of that.

"So, were you abused by your step father too?" his stupid question annoyed me. I felt like saying, "DUH!" but that'd be too immature, just like him.

"What? Of course I was, didn't you hear me?! He put me AND my sister Isuzu through that crap! But why am I even telling you this stuff? You don't even know how it feels to be abused..." I sighed, remember Haru told me that he was abused by his mother just after he saved me. He looked crestfallen. He looked at me for a second then came a little closer. I backed off.

"Stay away from me...Or you'll be hurt..." I said, feeling hurt.

"What do you mean?" he asked, a little concerned.

"I mean...I don't want to see you again. I don't want to make any new friends..." I did my best to glare at him. He gave a small yet sad smile.

"New friends huh? Well, so I am worthy enough to be a friend to you, eh? That settles it. You and Isuzu are alike in many ways. But you hate her, and can't forgive her. Hm...I guess I felt connected to Isuzu, like I do to you. Because I was abused like you and Isuzu were. I was hurt by my own mother...It's like she caged me my whole life as a young boy...It's like, she controlled my every move, and my dad did nothing but watch as she hit me for no damn reason...Sounds lame huh? A boy being abused by his own mother. But, I guess it was because I wasn't a girl. She wanted a daughter...Not a son..." he sighed and hid his hands away in his pockets. I looked at him as he looked at the flowers next to me. They were thistle blossoms.

It was silent for a few moments, then he came a little closer to me. I backed off again.

"Why are you so afraid to get closer to another soul? Another soul that's been abused like you. And, did you run away from your home town? Did you run away from Isuzu?" he asked me, giving a lame smile again. My heart sunk, he had me where I didn't want to be. He caught me in my own life. I did run away. And I'm running away now..Running from myself and my problems.

"Shut up, you don't know anything!" I yelled, refusing to listen to him. I knew deep down he was right. I didn't want to get closer to anybody, afraid I hurt them. Afraid they'd hurt me.

"You're like the thistle blossoms, is that what you're trying to say?" he said in a concerned voice. But surprisingly, he didn't sound like a stupid counselor. He sounded like me. Metaphoric, emotional, and most of all..Abused…Just like I was.

"What?" I sniffled, cautiously eyeing the thistle blossoms.

"The thistle blossoms. They have scratchy thorns, and if I touched them, I'd bleed. You'd hurt me. But then again...They have those beautiful pink blossoms growing on them. It's like lightning; it's beautiful, yet dangerous. And snow. It's radiant in all its colorlessness and brightness, and yet it's so cold, it can freeze you..." he backed away. He knew exactly how I felt. He knew what I was thinking almost. I could see it in his eyes. He backed away because he gave me a choice to run away from the situation, or tell him everything.

"Isn't this talk getting too deep for two strangers?" I asked, feeling a little shy.

"Yeah, it is a little too deep, but...Still, when someone's hurting, even a stranger is good enough to help out...You try to find a friendly face in a crowded place, when you're hurting..." he looked down and thought for a few minutes, so deep in thought. I decided to take this road. This road needed to be walked upon by someone whose been fated for it. I came a little closer to him.

"I can't seem to tell right now...But you do seem sincere in wanting to help me. But I can't trust you..." I said, feeling stupid for saying that. I could tell he wanted to help me. And even though I probably couldn't help him as Isuzu…Maybe, just maybe..I could help him as Rin.

"But you can get to." He smiled cheerily. I shook my head.

"No...I can't...I won't allow myself to trust anybody. It's nothing personal, Hatsuharu, but I don't think--" he cut me off and without realizing it, he pulled me into an embrace.

"Hatsu...Haru?" I said, my tears shining below my eyes in the dimmed light.

"Even strangers need a friendly embrace...And even though we are strangers...I feel a strange connection to you...Like I did with your sister, Isuzu..." he whispered into my ear. I closed my eyes hard and felt…cared for. For once in my life I felt that someone actually cared about me. But why? Why did he want to care about someone like me? I've sinned so much. And I've never helped anybody and yet…I felt…I don't know…Relieved. This was different from Tohru's caring about me. That was a sisterly love. And Haru hugging me and him telling me all this stuff…It felt like I had a friend again…

"You don't think you can trust an abused soul, such as yourself? You're saying you can't trust me, and I can understand that, but maybe as time goes by, we can learn to trust each other. You're a runaway, right?" he asked, breaking the embrace. I looked up at him.

"Y-yes…" I barely said out, still surprised by his hug.

"Hm…So you don't have anywhere to go?" he asked. His aura was all of a sudden calmer, more sincere. More…Caring. I felt weaker and felt as if I wanted to give in to him.

"No…I don't…" I said, shyly. I looked into his eyes. They looked silver. My heart started to pound and I felt protected as his arms rested upon my shoulder.

"So how about it? Want to get a bite to eat then we can find a place for you to stay tonight?" Haru smiled. Why was he offering me this? I didn't understand, but I decided I was too tired to argue or question him anymore. I hadn't slept in a while.

"I…I guess…" I nodded, wiping away my tears. He let me go and we slowly walked back the way we came through the maze. We came upon some more thistle blossoms along the wall, next to some Tahitian orchids. They smelled so nice. I stopped to touch their soft white petals.

_**You and I, the speed at which we walk, the scenery we see**_

_**Even the way in which we express ourselves, everything is different**_

_**For example, maybe you find a beautiful flower**_

_**In the place where I despaired**_

_**You're alive and I'm alive, that's all, that's everything**_

"Orchids…This smell reminds me of my mother." I said out of nowhere. Haru stopped and stood beside me.

"Really? Hm…They do smell nice." He said, closing his eyes. I looked down as he looked around at some more flowers. "Though I can't really say they remind me of my mother. My mother usually smelled like French fries, smoke and beer." Haru laughed out. I felt I offended him in some way.

"I'm sorry…If I offended you—" he cut me off.

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm glad you have a mother that cared for you. You didn't offend me." He smiled and continued to look at all the flowers along the wall.

_**To today, yesterday is just memories**_

_**And to today, tomorrow was an unknown light**_

_**If desire and opportunity should come at the same time**_

_**And we jump in without faltering, there's no problem**_

I looked at Haru, making sure not to let him see me. He smelled some cotton flowers. He sneezed and looked at me, catching me staring at him.

"Ugh, these are cotton flowers!" he laughed, sneezing again.

"You're allergic?" I stupidly said, laughing a little.

"It's not funny!" he laughed.

_**For example, maybe you find a beautiful flower **_

_**In the place where I despaired**_

I felt calmer around him. He moved his hand from the Tahitian orchid to the thistle blossoms. He was careful not to let the thorns prick his fingers. I watched as he let his hands slide to feel the thistle's blossoms. He smiled at me.

_**You're alive and I'm alive, forever, wherever**_

_**You're alive and I'm alive, that's all, that's everything**_

**xXxXxXx**

"So did you cute couple have a nice time?" the cashier lady asked. I looked at the clock above the exit door. Haru and I had been in there for a little under an hour. I didn't even realize we'd been in there that long.

"It was…_interesting…"_ I replied. Haru looked at me and gave a small smile. The lady smiled as we walked out, just after she said "Have a nice evening!".

"Why didn't you tell her we weren't a couple?" Haru asked randomly as we passed some shops.

"I don't like to embarrass people. I know how it feels to be embarrassed, no matter what situation it is." I shrugged.

"What do you mean, no matter what situation it is?" he asked.

"I mean, if I mistook two people as a couple when they really weren't, and they told me they weren't a couple, I'd feel embarrassed. That's a mild situation. An extreme situation would be being named the slut of the school." I said, not really thinking of what I was saying.

"Slut? You've been called that?" he asked, surprised.

"I'm being hypothetical here, Hatsuharu." I said, feeling embarrassed.

"Ah, I see. Even if you were called a slut, it wouldn't be true. I hate people like that. They hate those who they are jealous of. Ugh, and that woman who called you anorexic. Damn her, you deserve better, she doesn't know what you've been through. Plus, you're body is perfect the way it is!" with that, Haru's face turned beet red. He looked at me and gave a shy and embarrassed look.

"Perfect?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, not perfect, I mean, yeah, it's great the way it is—I mean! UGH! You know what I mean, right?" he gave a shy smile and looked down, obviously embarrassed.

"Sorry about that…" I said.

"What? Sorry about what?" he asked, looking at me while we walked by the food court.

"I embarrassed you, didn't I? And I don't like to embarrass people, remember?" I smiled, hoping I at least made him feel a little better.

"Oh…Well, I actually fell into that one on my own. I was bound to be embarrassed sooner or later in my life." He joked. I laughed a little and he shyly scratched his silver hair.

"Sure, I believe that…" I said, smiling.

"So anyway, subject change please. Where would you like to eat?" he asked. I looked around in the food court. I spotted a Chinese place. He must have seen me looking there.

"China House? Okay then, but I call all the orange chicken they have!" Haru ran over after saying "Last one there's a burnt piece of chicken!" But since he was looking at me while running away, he tripped and fell down. I started laughing as hard as I could. That's the first time I've laughed so hard in a while…Maybe this was fate…

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**The longer your silence continues**_

_**It's as if I can hear a voiceless scream**_

_**And my hear feels like it's being ripped in two**_

_**Why am I so powerless and foolish?**_

_**Thought I held your hand, I can't even protect you**_

_**I won't say that i want you to forgive me someday**_

_**If your'e going to fight alone now**_

_**Then that's a sure signal to me**_

_**Wishing for strength, you hid something**_

_**With your tears, for my sake alone**_

_**I want to show you the extraordinary view**_

_**Of that place at which we'll someday arrive**_

_**That's the signal to tomorrow, to the future...**_

xxxxx


	21. If Tomorrow Never Comes

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:** I'm glad you're enjoying these flirty chapters, loyal readers! Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter. I had fun writing it. Anyway, still up for ideas! Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "The Rain Leaves a Scar" by L'arcenCiel, and the ending song is "Criminal" by Ayumi Hamasaki.

**Chapter Preview:** _Things in life were difficult. There was no avoiding the pain in life. No avoiding the sorrows to come, and no avoiding crying about the pain._

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Haru's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**::XXI::**

"**If Tomorrow Never Comes"**

xxxxx

_**The short-lived bouquet burnt out**_

_**Withered by the cold flames that night**_

_**My beloved, where am I?**_

_**Covered in sediment, I can't break free**_

_**I feel ou in that flickering brightness**_

_**When I awoke in the morning, a warm rain**_

_**That had forgotten how to stop poured down**_

_**That gently erases the noise, but**_

_**Why doesn't it wash me away?**_

_**Ah, I felt you in that flickering brightness**_

_**You once overflowed in my hand**_

_**But now I can't see you**_

_**My voice is being shut off**_

_**I can't shout anything**_

_**Buried in the crowd**_

_**Tell me**_

_**Where I am now?**_

_**Why can't I get out here?**_

_**Why can't I get out here?**_

_**Ah, I felt you in that flickering brightness**_

_**But now I can't tie you down**_

_**Everything sways fleetingly**_

_**You once overflowed in my hand**_

_**But now I can't see you**_

_**Now knowing a way to escape**_

_**I can't even say goodbye**_

_**My voice is being shut off**_

_**I can't shout anything**_

_**Buried in the crowd**_

_**Tell me...**_

_**Where am I now?**_

xxxxx

"China House? Okay then, but I call all the orange chicken they have! Last one there's a burnt piece of chicken!" I said, and like the idiot I was, I couldn't keep my eyes off of Rin, so I tripped over my own shoe and fell down. My black coat went over my head and once I lifted it back into place, people stared at me in the food court as some stepped over me. I felt my face turn hot and looked over at Rin. She was laughing and began to walk over to me.

I quickly stood up and gave a stupid grin. The China place people were whispering in Chinese or something and pointing at me and laughing. Rin saw and giggled some.

"Looks like you're already popular." She eyed them then looked at me. I couldn't hold her stare so I looked down.

"_Anyway…_Let's go to the Taco John's place next to that China place. I wouldn't want to embarrass you in front of those Chinese people." I laughed and ruffled up my silver hair. Rin smiled.

"It's okay, you wouldn't be embarrassing me. Plus, Taco John's has a huge line anyway." She said, pointing over to the line.

"Ah, I see…Okay then, but it's your reputation!" I joked. She rolled her eyes and smiled, walking over to the China place. I followed her over. The China people grinned as they saw me coming over. The bowed.

"What would you like this evening?" they asked.

"Uhh…I'll have the orange chicken combo." Rin said.

"A side of rice or fried rice?" they asked her.

"Regular rice please." Rin said. They handed her a red tray and set a plate on top of it, filling it with orange chicken and some rice. She smiled and said thank you. I told them I wanted the same thing, but with fried rice instead. We went to the cashier and they asked what we wanted to drink. Rin and I said "Coke" at the same time. They gave us two jumbo cups of Coke and I paid the amount they asked for.

"What? Why are you paying?" Rin asked, surprised.

"Because I'm the one who offered if you wanted to eat something." I smiled.

"Oh…I see…But really, how much do I owe you?" she set her tray down and started to dig through the pockets. I set my tray down on the counter of the cashiers table too and gently grabbed Rin's hands.

"It's okay, really. You don't have to pay me back." I smiled and realized I was holding her hands. I let go and blushed, grabbing my tray. She looked down and soon grabbed her tray too. We thanked the Chinese people and walked over to sit at a table in the food court.

"I wish they had Pepsi, I hate Coke." Rin said, randomly.

"Yeah, I do too. Hate Coke, I mean. Pepsi so much damn better. But hey, as long as the food's good, the who cares what we use to wash it down with?" I said, sipping my Coke.

"Yeah, but no matter what I eat, it seems I need a Pepsi to wash it down. I'm weird, aren't I?" Rin gave a weak smile and took a bite of her rice.

"Really? You are weird!" I joked and winked at her. She gave a shy smile too and set her fork down and sighed. "What? Does it suck?" I asked. She shook her head.

"No…I guess…I just haven't had something this good in a while. Real food. Fattening, greasy. But…I've been shy…" Rin stopped in mid sentence.

"Shy about what?" I asked.

"Um…Shy about eating…In front of people…" Rin looked at me. 

"Oh, so you don't want to eat in front of me? Well, I can not look if that helps." I offered. All she could do was sigh. The she spoke.

"No, it's fine. I need to overcome stupid things like that. I mean, I eat, but it's embarrassing to eat in front of people. I don't know why, don't ask…I guess it's because…When I ate at home with my step dad, he always made fun of me. Calling me 'pig' and saying I eat too much. He said I was fat and usually, he'd throw food at me, causing me to cry and run to my room." Rin's eyes started to water.

"Oh…I see. Well, you know that what he said isn't true." I quickly regretted what I said, thinking I was to quick to say such personal things to her.

"You don't know how he was. I actually believed him, I believed I was fat, stupid, ugly, and all the other things he said to me." Rin sighed and closed her watered eyes.

I looked at my food. I decided to hope to lighten the moment with my stupidity.

"Well, sorry about that. No, I didn't know him and never will. I can't imagine what you went through, with your sister and you, but you know…It's over now, and he can't hurt you anymore. And about the eating in front of me, how about I feed you, while closing my eyes?" I felt stupid instantly. She briefly smiled and wiped away a tear. Then her emotion quickly changed.

"You don't get it do you? I was physically hurt, and emotionally hurt too. And even though he can't hurt me physically anymore, those emotional scars remain. I can't forget him, I can't forget every moment he put Isuzu and me through…" she sighed and looked away. There was a silence, and all we could hear was the people around us talking in the mall.

"I guess you're right…I can't change your mind about that, only you can. Yeah, I know, sounds cheesy, but still…Most cheesy things are true…Anyway…" I relaxed in my chair and stared at her. She sighed and sniffled.

"I'm sorry, Hatsuharu…It's just, I haven't slept normally in a while…So I'm sorry if I snap again like this. It's just, no matter how hard I try…Those memories of my step dad won't go away. He's dead now…And there's nothing for me to do but run farther from my problems and sorrows. I can never forget, his spirit won't allow me to." Rin sighed and looked around at everyone. I did too. There was a long silence.

Things in life were difficult. There was no avoiding the pain in life. No avoiding the sorrows to come, and no avoiding crying about the pain. I sighed and took another sip of my Coke. Rin looked at me.

"Look, you're a nice guy and all. And I'm flattered by your connection to me. But the thing is…I can't feel connected to anybody. I guess what I'm trying to say is…there's no way in being friends with someone like me." She wiped away a tear.

"Okay…That's your choice. If you want to continue running from your problems, be my guest." I smiled and shrugged. She looked confused.

"Wait, after all that stuff you said in the flower garden maze, now you say this? Aren't you suppose to comfort me and say I shouldn't be running away from everything?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, it's your life. I just don't want to pressure you into things, I'm not a forceful guy, I guess it's what you can say." I shrugged. She sighed.

"Ugh, you guys are confusing. Just when I think I've figured you out, you change your mind," she rolled her eyes.

"I can say the same thing about you. First you're all hating me then you warm up to me, now you're all like wanting to run away again." I felt smart. Well, half I felt like a smart person, and the other half of me felt like a smart "ass".

"Well…I guess I am like that. But you were like that before me." Rin glared at me, but it seemed she couldn't hold it too long, because she gave a small smile. "You know what, Haru? You're confusing me, and I hate you for that. But you make me want to find out why you're like this." She took a drink of her Coke for the first time.

"Really? So you won't run away?" I asked.

"Not this time, and who knows, if I did run away again, you'd find me since you are a stalker." She said in a jokingly tone. I shrugged at her.

"What can I say, I am the great Hatsuharu!" I laughed. She shook her head.

"I guess I can take up that offer of you finding a place for me to stay tonight." Rin took her fork and started to chow down, seeming like she didn't have a care in the world.

**xXxXxXx**

"Want to go to any stores now?" I asked as we threw away our plates and set the trays on top of the trash.

"I've burdened you too much on money." Rin said.

"Who said I'd buy you anything?" I joked.

"Haha, Hatsu, that's funny." She gently pushed my arm.

"Hatsu? Hm, first your sister calls me Haru now you call me Hatsu? Nice, you two are alike in many ways." I laughed. She rolled her eyes, briefly smiled and walked away. I followed after her.

"I'm tired…" Rin said, sighing hard. "So, what did you have in mind when you offered to find me a place to stay?" she asked, putting her hands in her black hoodie pocket. I thought for a second. Then Kyo came to mind.

"Damn!" I yelled out, stopping in my steps. Rin looked at me in disbelief.

"What?" she gave me a look like I was crazy or something.

"I forgot about Kyo!" I told her, looking around.

"Oh…You mean that orange haired guy that was with you earlier?" she asked.

"Yeah, damn. You don't mind if we search for him before I find you a place to stay for the night?" I asked, hoping Kyo wasn't too pissed that I ditched him off for Rin.

"Um, yeah, I don't mind." She shrugged.

"Okay…Well, then…If I were Kyo, where would I go?" I asked myself. Rin looked around.

"Well, he can't be that hard to miss. I mean, his hair's as orange as the fruit itself." I laughed at her joke.

"You got that right. Hm, let's check at Game Spot." I suggested. We searched and searched for what seemed like hours, and soon, we found him in the arcade we were at earlier.

"There you are! Damn you, I wasted ten bucks in quarters playing Guitar Hero, Dance Dance Revolution, and even Asteroids all this time!" Kyo complained.

"Did anyone hit on you?" I asked.

"No, thank goodness. But now the owner of this place is eyeing me because he's gay! And he thinks I'M GAY thanks to YOU!" Kyo hissed, messing up his orange locks. Rin looked at me funny.

"Oh, long story!" I said, feeling embarrassed. Rin rolled her eyes.

"I don't think I wanna know." She looked away, after saying that.

"Ah, so this the Isuzu girl? Wow, you actually convinced her you weren't a stalker?" Kyo asked.

"Actually, Isuzu's my twin sister. I'm Rin…Rin Kagura. And no, I'm still not convinced Hatsu here isn't a stalker." Rin laughed.

"Ohhhhh, I see…So you're Haru's crush's twin. Hm, good enough for him I guess!" I slapped my hand over Kyo's big mouth.

"Dude, shut the hell up! And I was NOT crushing on Isuzu nor am I gonna crush on Rin here!" I yelled at him. I forgot that Rin was right there. I let my hand fall from Kyo's mouth to my side. I stood up straight.

"Um, sorry about that, Rin…Kyo's always stupid like this. I think it's rubbing off on me." I gave a nervous laugh.

"It's fine, I always knew you were this stupid." Rin laughed. What made me wonder was, how could her and I be acting like friends this quickly? Was it that we had that "strangers" talk at the maze garden? Hm…Could be.

"Ha, you're cool, Rin. I like you already, knowing instantly that Haru was stupid!" Kyo laughed. I gave him a threatening glare and looked at Rin. She was just giving me a warm smile, possibly enjoying that Kyo and I were fighting.

"So, anyway. Rin here needs a place to stay. Know any cheap hotels?" I asked Kyo.

"Hotels? Oooh, why so you can butter up Rin here and—" that did it, I bashed Kyo on the head, sure to cause a bump in the morning.

"On the other hand, why don't we let her stay over at Shigure's? She can stay in the guest room!" I winged in a suggestion that I even I wasn't so sure of. But it was to avoid being embarrassed in front of Rin. But Kyo had to ruin it again!

"At Shigure's? Okay, first of all, that isn't even a guest room! That's Shigure's writing room, and second of all, letting a girl into the house is gonna excite him and who knows—" I bonked Kyo's head again, but this time, hard enough so that he'd fall to the ground.

"Ehh! I don't know WHAT THE HELL he's even talking about! Shigure's a good guy. He's our cousin and he wouldn't mind letting you stay for a bit. And anyway, he hasn't written a novel in months, so why would he start up now since he hasn't used his writing room in that long? So I think you'll be fine…That's if…You want to." I smiled warmly at her. Kyo stood up.

"SHEEYEAH, Shigure wouldn't mind if you came over, he'd only be pleasured even more—" this time, I kicked Kyo where it mattered most.

**xXxXxXx**

"Well…here it is…Shigure's house." I told Rin as Kyo pulled in the driveway.

"Hm, it's small yet nice." Rin commented.

"Really? Shigure thinks it needs to be more 'romantic', like the houses in his novels." Kyo remarked. I rolled my eyes.

"Kyo, she doesn't want to hear useless comments like that, so just shut up." I glared at him.

"So, Shigure writes novels? Novels like what?" she asked, opening the door.

"Oh, romance novels. Cheesy ones, and love affair novels. Once he wrote a novel about a school girl loving her science teacher, and he loved her too and the ending was, they were in the science room, the door was locked and then—" I bashed Kyo in the head again, causing him to fall on the driveway.

"ANYWAY! Yeah, he writes novels, now, what's suppose to be the garage is Kyo and I's guest house. Upstairs is Shigure's writing room, hopefully where you'll be able to stay." I shrugged and took a gander at the little white house that Shigure lived in.

"Hm, it is a very cute house. Nothing like my house…" Rin sighed, deep in thought. She must have been tired. I looked at Kyo who was on the ground in pain.

"Well, then. Want to go in a meet Shigure?" I asked. All she could do was nod. We left Kyo laying there and I opened the front door and let Rin go in first. She removed her boots and her height decreased and she was about seven inches shorter than me rather than five. She looked up at me as I removed my shoes. My height didn't change that much though.

I led her into the living room, then into the kitchen. There sat Shigure at the small dining table, eating some Ramens. He had his reading glasses on and was reading a novel. Not his, but it was one that he'd probably write about. He looked up and closed the book and took a sip of his cocoa.

"Oh, Haru! Finally you're home, and who do we have here?" Shigure smiled and stood up. He was wearing a long sleeved black T-shirt and jeans.

"Oh, this is Rin. She's a friend of mine, and was needing a place to stay tonight." I told him. Shigure smiled.

"Oh, that's fine, she's welcome to stay in my novelist room! There's couch in there with tons of blankets in the closet." Shigure pointed up the stairs then crossed his arms. I wasn't too surprised that he let her stay that quickly. He didn't even argue. Now if it was a guy friend that I wanted to stay over, he would have objected at first then thought about it. But this was a beautiful girl standing right in front of him, so why would he pass up that opportunity?

I blushed at the fact that I was thinking about Rin's beauty. But I did have more doubts in my mind. She had to be identical twins with Isuzu, if she had the same beauty as her. But then again, Rin did say she was nineteen and her sister was seventeen…So wouldn't that make them them other kind of twins that aren't identical if they weren't born at the same time? Hm…I guess I just realized that. Ugh, now I'm just confusing myself! Damn it! I snapped myself out of it and looked at Rin then at Shigure.

"So then…She's really tired, I'll lead her up there and then get ready for bed." I told him.

"Oh, where's Kyon-Kyon?" Shigure asked, bubbly. Kyo came in.

"I heard that, you damn pervert!" Kyo yelled out, slamming the door and rubbing his head.

"Oh, there you are. I'm gonna need you to take out the trash, please Kyon-Kyon?" Shigure begged.

"Damn it, Shigure, I did it last night! Make Haru do it!" he hissed.

"Oh, but Haru is leading his friend up to her guest room for tonight. Please do it? I have to finish my Ramens. Plus, you promised you and Haru would do some work around here in order for you to stay here for a few months!" Shigure gave a stupid look. I rolled my eyes and told Rin to ignore them. She gave a weird look and briefly smiled. I led her up the staircase and turned right and opened the door to Shigure's writing room. I switched on the light.

"This room is very nice." She commented, plopping herself on the couch next to the window. I smiled and went to the closet on the right and pulled out some sheets and blankets. I gave them to her and she started to fix up the couch. I then gave her a pillow and she fixed it up and sat down again.

"Well, kind of odd for a writing room, since there's a TV in here. But anyway, the rest room in on your left when you come out and Shigure's bedroom is downstairs, so you don't have to worry about him creeping around. Luckily, there's a lock for this door too. Oh yeah, and there's a balcony too. It's not much." I said, scratching the back of my head. She smiled.

"No, it's fine…I don't mind. It's nice." She smiled and removed her hoodie and laid down, covering up.

"Well, good night…" I said.

"Night…Thanks for letting me stay. I'll leave as soon as I can." She smiled.

"No, no, stay as long as you want. I guess Shigure wouldn't mind if you stayed another night." I said. She sat up.

"But I don't want to put you out. Plus, it is kind of strange for me to stay in a house with three men." She laughed.

"Actually, make that four men. Our other cousin is staying here too, Yuki. Eh…I probably shouldn't have told you that…Now you'll probably want to leave that much more." I laughed nervously.

"Hm…Well, it can't be that bad, but we can't decide now. I'll decide for sure in the morning whether I should go or stay." She said, lying back down.

"I guess that's the best thing for now. Well, even if tomorrow never comes, sleep well." I said, turning off the light and closing the door. I sighed and leaned against the door, replaying each and every memory I had with Rin. But, she had to be lying about not being Isuzu, I mean, she had to be Isuzu. She had all her mannerisms, her eyes, and it was impossible that they were identical twins, even she said it herself, she was nineteen and Isuzu is seventeen. So there, she has to be Isuzu.

I went downstairs and sat in the living room to think a little bit more on this.

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**The longer your silence continues**_

_**It's as if I can hear a voiceless scream**_

_**And my hear feels like it's being ripped in two**_

_**Why am I so powerless and foolish?**_

_**Thought I held your hand, I can't even protect you**_

_**I won't say that i want you to forgive me someday**_

_**If your'e going to fight alone now**_

_**Then that's a sure signal to me**_

_**Wishing for strength, you hid something**_

_**With your tears, for my sake alone**_

_**I want to show you the extraordinary view**_

_**Of that place at which we'll someday arrive**_

_**That's the signal to tomorrow, to the future...**_

xxxxx


	22. At Last

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**Once again, I apologize for the delay, but you know how life can be. I enjoy writing so much, but finding the time to actually write is hard and rare. Well, enjoy this chapter, hopefully! Laters!

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "The Rain Leaves a Scar" by L'arcenCiel, and the ending song is "Criminal" by Ayumi Hamasaki. .

**Chapter Preview****:** _"At any rate, oh, Rin…Sorry, didn't notice you there." Haru laughed. I smiled a little, but quickly looked down to hide my smile._

"_I don't have anything to wear tonight…" I stupidly and shyly said, letting go of my pride. Machi's eyes brightened._

"_Oh, so you and Haru are going on a date too?" she smiled. My cheeks quickly flushed. Haru's turned bright red._

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:XxInsomniaXx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Isuzu's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**:XXII:**

"**At Last"**

xxxxx

_**The short-lived bouquet burnt out**_

_**Withered by the cold flames that night**_

_**My beloved, where am I?**_

_**Covered in sediment, I can't break free**_

_**I feel ou in that flickering brightness**_

_**When I awoke in the morning, a warm rain**_

_**That had forgotten how to stop poured down**_

_**That gently erases the noise, but**_

_**Why doesn't it wash me away?**_

__

_**Ah, I felt you in that flickering brightness**_

_**You once overflowed in my hand**_

_**But now I can't see you**_

_**My voice is being shut off**_

_**I can't shout anything**_

_**Buried in the crowd**_

_**Tell me**_

_**Where I am now?**_

_**Why can't i get out here?**_

_**Why can't I get out here?**_

_**Ah, I felt you in that flickering brightness**_

_**But now I can't tie you down**_

_**Everything sways fleetingly**_

_**You once overflowed in my hand**_

_**But now I can't see you**_

_**Now knowing a way to escape**_

_**I can't even say goodbye**_

_**My voice is being shut off**_

_**I can't shout anything**_

_**Buried in the crowd**_

_**Tell me...**_

_**Where am I now?**_

xxxxx

After we ate in the food court, Haru decided that he needed to find his orange haired buddy. I helped him and once we found him, they exchanged some…well…_interesting _words and there was lots of violence too. It was entertaining, then Haru and Kyo took me to their cousin Shigure's house, where I'd be staying the night. I felt all right with that, but I felt a little, I don't know…_strange_ that Haru was doing all this for me.



"Well…here it is…Shigure's house." Haru said, as we pulled into a little drive way. I examined the house. It was white and cottage sized. I thought it was nice. The garage was a good size too. Although it was small, it was actually tall too, probably two floors.

"Hm, it's small yet nice." I said, still staring at the house. Kyo spoke up next after he heard me.

"Really? Shigure thinks it needs to be more 'romantic', like the houses in his novels." I gave a small smile, thinking about who this Shigure guy really is. From what I've heard from Kyo, he seems like…a _questionable_ guy to say in a polite way.

"Kyo, she doesn't want to hear useless comments like that, so just shut up." Haru said, giving Kyo a glare.

"So, Shigure writes novels? Novels like what?" I asked, getting out of the car. Kyo and Haru both got out also.

"Oh, romance novels. Cheesy ones and love affair novels. Once he wrote a novel about a school girl loving her science teacher, and he loved her too and the ending was, they were in the science room, the door was locked and then—" Before Kyo could finish, Haru hit him on the head hard enough to make him fall down.

"ANYWAY! Yeah, he writes novels, now, what's suppose to be the garage is Kyo and I's guest house. Upstairs is Shigure's writing room, hopefully where you'll be able to stay." Haru shrugged and glanced at the little white house. I sighed, thinking about how much Haru was being nice to me.

"Hm, it is a very cute house. Nothing like my house…" I sighed. Haru looked at me, I slowly looked away. He must have noticed I was bushed.

"Well, then. Want to go in a meet Shigure?" Haru asked, so I nodded. The two of us left, apparently Haru didn't care about Kyo laying in the driveway in pain. But it was rather funny. They were more like brothers than cousins. Once we got into the little house, the entrance was nice. There was a coat rack and a place to set your shoes. I took off my combat boots. Haru looked down at me, noticing our height changes when we took off our shoes.

He took me through a nice living room with a fire place and then into a kitchen, where it looked almost perfect. No dishes in the sink, a small dining area and perfect wooden cupboards. At the small dining table sat a man that looked to be in his early twenties reading a novel and drinking some cocoa and eating noodles. His hair was automatic black and he wore glasses. He was most likely Shigure. He looked up after sipping his cocoa.

"Oh, Haru! Finally you're home, and who do we have here?" He smiled and stood up from the table. I looked at him, he was tall. He wore a long sleeved black shirt and jeans. His slippers matched his chocolate brown eyes. My heart flipped over some, as I noticed he was…_handsome. _He didn't seem like the type Kyo was talking about though. But that was just looking at his appearance.

"Oh, this is Rin. She's a friend of mine, and was needing a place to stay tonight." I had to be reminded that Haru was standing next to me by his voice. I blinked my eyes as Shigure smiled.

"Oh, that's fine; she's welcome to stay in my novelist room! There's couch in there with tons of blankets in the closet." Shigure seemed to be up to me staying. Haru rolled his eyes as he was in thought.

"So then…She's really tired, I'll lead her up there and then get ready for bed." Haru explained to Shigure.



"Oh, where's Kyon-Kyon?" Shigure asked, sort of in a kiddish tone. Kyo walked in the minute Shigure said that.

"I heard that, you damn pervert!" Kyo yelled, slamming the door behind him.

"Oh, there you are. I'm gonna need you to take out the trash, please Kyon-Kyon?" Shigure asked, as if like a child.

"Damn it, Shigure, I did it last night! Make Haru do it!" Kyo snapped back.

"Oh, but Haru is leading his friend up to her guest room for tonight. Please do it? I have to finish my Ramens. Plus, you promised you and Haru would do some work around here in order for you to stay here for a few months!" Shigure begged.

"It's fine, just ignore them, they're stupid." Haru told me. I gave a small smile and held back my laughing. Haru then led me up the stairs and we entered a dark room. Haru turned on the lights and my eyes adjusted to the light. To the left of the door was a coffee table with a bunch of papers and notebooks stacked on it and some coasters.

And to the right of the door was a closet and next to it was a small shelf full of novels where a pencil holder sat on top. There was also an alarm clock on it too. There was also a fancy TV next to the shelf and across from it was a white and blue couch and a painting hung right above it. The painting was of an ocean and a lighthouse. The window door led to a balcony right across from the entrance and the walls were light blue.

"This room is very nice." I said, still admiring the cute little room. I sat myself on the couch and looked out the window. Haru opened the closet door and handed me some sheets and blankets. I started to fix up the couch then Haru handed me a pillow. I fluffed it up and set it down.

"Well, kind of odd for a writing room, since there's a TV in here. But anyway, the rest room in on your left when you come out and Shigure's bedroom is downstairs, so you don't have to worry about him creeping around. Luckily, there's a lock for this door too. Oh yeah, and there's a balcony too. It's not much." Haru scratched his head. I slightly smiled.

"No, it's fine…I don't mind. It's nice." I said, taking off my hoodie and covering up.

"Well, good night…" Haru said, about to leave.

"Night…Thanks for letting me stay. I'll leave as soon as I can." I said, feeling that this was just a little too much for me.

"No, no, stay as long as you want. I guess Shigure wouldn't mind if you stayed another night." Haru awkwardly said, I sat up.

"But I don't want to put you out. Plus, it is kind of strange for me to stay in a house with three men." I nervously laughed. Haru gave a strange look.

"Actually, make that four men. Our other cousin is staying here too, Yuki. Eh…I probably shouldn't have told you that. Now you'll probably want to leave that much more." He laughed a little and gave a nervous look again.

"Hm…Well, it can't be _that_ bad, but we can't decide now. I'll decide for sure in the morning whether I should go or stay." I told him, laying back down.



"I guess that's the best thing for now. Well, even if tomorrow never comes, sleep well," he said, turning off the light and closing the door. I sighed as I lay there, staring at the darkened, white ceiling. What was going on with my life? It was just so twisted up. How did I even get this far? Why am I even still _alive_? "_'Even if tomorrow never comes, sleep well...'_" I found myself quoting Haru out loud. I pulled up the sleeves of my long sleeved shirt and took my hand and rubbed it along my inner arms, feeling the scabs and scars of my self inflicted cuts.

"Temptation..." I whispered, suddenly feeling I needed to hurt myself again. Things felt hard in life, and since I've gotten far, what's the use of turning back? Maybe this was all happening for a reason. Maybe there was a reason I was living still. Maybe there was a reason Haru and I kept running into each other. No…Or maybe I'm just fooling myself.

I decided to call it a night and slowly closed my eyes and drifted into a deep sleep.

I was woken up by some yelling downstairs. I sat up and rubbed my eyes and looked at the clock. I had slept for twelve hours! Hm, guess I needed that sleep. I haven't slept that good ever since…My mom was still alive. I threw the covers off and opened the glass doors that led to the balcony. The smell of morning air still lingered, even though it was early afternoon. No bustling cars sped by, the only sounds I heard were a couple of dogs barking and the cool breeze of the wind.

It tickled my hair back, reminding me of how short I had cut it. It felt…I don't know…Nice…Which was a great break from the normal depression I've been feeling in this hectic life. I heard a knock on the door. I turned.

"Um, come in!" I called back. It was a guy about my age with dark hair and violet eyes. His bangs covered part of his face and he wore a white polo with khakis.

"Oh, good afternoon. It's lunch time, Haru told me to come up and get you…Nice to meet you, I'm Yuki, Haru and Kyo's cousin, unfortunately…" Yuki gave a small laugh, still holding onto the door knob. I came back inside, closing the glass door behind me.

"Oh, okay then. Thank you, I'll get ready." I smiled as Yuki left. I slowly left the room and walked over to my left to use the rest room. I quickly stripped down and took a fast shower. When I was done, I brushed my hair and got dressed in the same clothes. Ugh, I probably wreaked of runaway girl. I went downstairs to see Haru and Kyo sitting at the dining table arm wrestling. I rolled my eyes. Haru looked at my, causing him to lose.

"Ha! I win! You suck, Haru!" Kyo laughed.

"Shut up, that's because Rin was distracting me! I would have beaten you to the pulp orange boy!" Haru laughed. I sat next to them at the table.

"Oh hey, did Yuki wake you up? There's rice porage or Ramen noodles, your pick. Don't worry, Yuki made the rice porage, so it's not poisoned." Haru said, eyeing Kyo.

"What the hell is _that _suppose to mean?" Kyo glared at him, ruffling his orange locks. Haru shrugged.

"What do _you_ think it means? It means you and Shigure suck at cooking anything! You'd burn water!" Haru laughed. After breakfast, Haru offered to take me to dinner later.

"Um…Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah, really. Kyo and Yuki are suppose to 'bond' tonight, since they never get along. And Shigure is gonna stay in and attempt to write another romance novel. Me, I have nothing to do, so you wanna eat out tonight? On me, and I promise I won't do anything…" Haru laughed.



"Do anything? As in?" I asked, cluelessly.

"Oh, yeah, you know…Never mind, I sound stupid." He laughed it off. It seemed that day was a breeze, everything was easy, nothing hard or emotional like my whole life has been so far. It was so, I don't know…It was kind of…nice.

As I got ready for dinner, I heard the doorbell ring.

"I'll get it!" Yuki's voice called out. I went out of Shigure's writing room to look and see who was there.

"Oh, hello Machi." Yuki said. I couldn't quite see who it was. Then she came in. It was that girl I met at the mall. What a small world. I went downstairs.

"Oh, hello again, Rin. Um, this is my girlfriend, Machi." Yuki smiled. Machi bowed.

"Yes, we've met before." I rather rudely said on accident.

"Why, yes we have. Just yesterday actually." Machi smiled.

"Well, that's nice." Yuki smiled. It seemed to peaceful now. My life, I mean. It seemed as if I was in a family again. Then again, it was probably too early to determine that. Then Kyo walked in eating a huge rice ball.

"What the heck is she doing here?" Kyo asked.

"Oh Kyo, it's been a year since I've seen you." Machi said.

"Kyo, must you be so rude to our guests?" Yuki glared at him, his violet eyes gleaming. Machi just smiled.

"Machi, would you like to spend the evening with Kyo and I?" Yuki asked, smiling at Machi.

"I would like that. Unless you two already had plans. I just thought I'd drop in and say hello. I haven't seen you in a small while. I got a little…Lonely I guess…" Machi's warm smile seemed to give the room a cozy atmosphere. Almost like…Tohru…

"Ever heard of a phone call?" Kyo asked, biting his rice ball.

"Shut up, retard, be nice, they're in love! You and Yuki can bond some other time!" Haru glared at Kyo.

"Eh, whatever, I was gonna watch a movie anyway." Kyo walked off. Haru and Yuki both looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Machi gave a gently laugh.

"At any rate, oh, Rin…Sorry, didn't notice you there." Haru laughed. I smiled a little, but quickly looked down to hide my smile.

"I don't have anything to wear tonight…" I stupidly and shyly said, letting go of my pride. Machi's eyes brightened.

"Oh, so you and Haru are going on a date too?" she smiled. My cheeks quickly flushed. Haru's turned bright red.



"No, actually, it's more of a 'getting to know each other dinner'. We barely know each other, so I decided to, um, invite Rin to dinner tonight." Haru explained. I sighed and Machi came up to me.

"Well then, how about you come over to my house, I have tons of outfits that would look good on you, Rin." Machi smiled.

"Oh no, that's fine…" I gave a fake smile.

"No, really…It's fine. I want to get to know you too." Machi smiled.

"Go on, it'll be fine. Machi wouldn't hurt a fly. Plus, you probably need a female to talk to after being here with all these men." Yuki laughed.

"Yeah...Go on, I'll figure out where we can eat tonight." Haru smiled. All I could do was nod. There was no escaping this. At Machi's house, her room was small and elegant. Nothing seemed out of place. Nothing at all. She let me sit at ther white desk while she looked for clothes. She brought out a black and red silk shirt and a nice red skirt to go along with it.

"How about this? I wore it to a Valentine's day dance once. That's when Yuki and I had our first kiss. It's special to me." Machi smiled.

"Then why would you let me wear it? Won't it ruin the specialness?" I asked.

"No, why would you say that? I'm letting you wear it because it's special. And you are too. Nothing can take away that moment, it's not like there's magic in this outfit...Or maybe there is, you decide. I just think it would look beautiful on you. What with your wonderful dark hair and dark eyes. The red would brighten your feautures." Machi smiled.

"Why are you doing this for me?" I asked.

"Well, because you're Haru's friend. I know Haru and Yuki, they're close, almost like brothers. So I trust anybody who Haru trusts. And I can see it in his eyes when he glances at you. I've only seen him and you together for a brief moment, but somehow, I could tell." Machi set the outfit on her bed and sat down.

"Tell what?" I asked.

"Tell that he can feel a connection with you. I can't explain it, but that's how the atmosphere was." she sighed sweetly and stood up. "Now then! Try on this outfit." She gave it to me. I took it in my hands and she led me to the bathroom to change. She shut the door and I was left alone to look at myself in the big mirror. I slowly undressed and dressed in the outfit. It fit me well. Not too tight, not too loose. Perfect almost. I came out and Machi smiled.

"You look wonderful, you see? Now, about your hair. Do you like curls? Or straight?" she asked, as if giving me a complete makeover.

"Um...I'll leave it the way it is." I told her.

"Hm, it's cute shoulder length. Here." She walked up to me with a comb in hand and parted it. Then she brushed it to make it smoother. She spritzed some Cherry blossom perfume on me and gave me some lip gloss.

"There we go...You look so nice." Machi smiled.



"Thank you...But again...We barely know each other. It seems you're talking to me as if we were...Sisters..." I said.

"Well now...that's a compliment on my part. But you don't want to hear about that. At any rate, here are some shoes. I used these with the outfit as well." Machi smiled.

"Oh...They're nice." I said, eyeing the sling backs. I put them on and Machi seemed finish with her make over of me.

"Now then, I'll call Haru." she took out a cell phone and called. "Is Haru there?" she asked. A few moments later, someone answered. "Oh, hey Haru, Rin's ready, so where are you guys eating? She'll meet you there...Okay...I'll tell her." Then she hung up.

"He chose an elegant resteraunt, perfect for this outfit!" Machi smiled. I could feel myself blushing.

"Where?" I asked.

"It's a resteraunt called Elegance...Very nice and expensive." Machi told me. It seemed Haru really wanted to impress me. At seven, Machi drove me to the resteraunt. It was huge and very nice looking. As the sun set, people in nice dresses and tuxedos piled in. Proper attire was required I guess for this resteraunt. I've never been in one of these before. At the entrance, we waited for Haru. He pulled up in his black car and exited. He wore white pants and a silk black shirt. His hair was nice, yet still spiked...My heart gave a slight lurch.

"Haru..." I whispered. he came up and smiled at me.

"You look nice..." he nervously said, smiling. I tried not to look him in the eye. But it was impossible, since he wouldn't stop looking at me. He led me in and the waiters sat us. Machi left and we sat together at a table for two.

It was strange...It seemed nice...To not have anybody staring at me. To not have people yelling at me. I guess I was happy...At last...And getting to know Haru...At last...

At last...

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**The longer your silence continues**_

_**It's as if I can hear a voiceless scream**_

_**And my heart feels like it's being ripped in two**_

_**Why am I so powerless and foolish?**_

_**Though I held your hand, I can't even protect you**_

_**I won't say that I want you to forgive me someday**_

_**If your'e going to fight alone now**_

__

_**Then that's a sure signal to me**_

_**Wishing for strength, you hid something**_

_**With your tears, for my sake alone**_

_**I want to show you the extraordinary view**_

_**Of that place at which we'll someday arrive**_

_**That's the signal to tomorrow, to the future...**_

xxxxx


	23. Revelations

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:** Hey loyal readers. Sorry about the gaps in between the stories, but like I said in the last chapter, you know how life is! Anyway, I've been tired lately and my memory isn't really refreshed on this fic, so sorry if these chapters sound inaccurate, I just don't have the time to go online and read my fic again. Sorry this fic is slow paced, but I need ideas! Mwah!

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "The Rain Leaves a Scar" by L'arcenCiel, and the ending song is "Criminal" by Ayumi Hamasaki.

**Chapter Preview:**_An occasional glance. A small smile here and there. It seemed Rin was warming up to me, but just by a little. Yet, I still had to decipher this feeling inside of me. I've never felt like this before. Never..._

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Haru's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**:XXIII:**

"**Revelations"**

xxxxx

_**The short-lived bouquet burnt out**_

_**Withered by the cold flames that night**_

_**My beloved, where am I?**_

_**Covered in sediment, I can't break free**_

_**I feel ou in that flickering brightness**_

_**When I awoke in the morning, a warm rain**_

_**That had forgotten how to stop poured down**_

_**That gently erases the noise, but**_

_**Why doesn't it wash me away?**_

_**Ah, I felt you in that flickering brightness**_

_**You once overflowed in my hand**_

_**But now I can't see you**_

_**My voice is being shut off**_

_**I can't shout anything**_

_**Buried in the crowd**_

_**Tell me**_

_**Where I am now?**_

_**Why can't i get out here?**_

_**Why can't I get out here?**_

_**Ah, I felt you in that flickering brightness**_

_**But now I can't tie you down**_

_**Everything sways fleetingly**_

_**You once overflowed in my hand**_

_**But now I can't see you**_

_**Now knowing a way to escape**_

_**I can't even say goodbye**_

_**My voice is being shut off**_

_**I can't shout anything**_

_**Buried in the crowd**_

_**Tell me...**_

_**Where am I now?**_

xxxxx

"Hey Yuki, would you mind waking Rin up? She's been out for a while now. Tell her lunch is ready!" I told Yuki, yawing and taking a huge bite of my Ramens. Yuki nodded and went upstairs. While I waited, Kyo came in and grabbed a bowel and poured some cereal in and some milk. He sat down in front of me and yawned.

"Heh, look what the cat dragged out of the bag." I joked.

"Shut up…" Kyo said, ruffling his orange locks. I rolled my eyes at him as he took a huge bite of his rice crispies.

"So then, how did you sleep?" I asked.

"What the hell? What kind of mood swing was that? First you insult me, now you're asking me how well I slept?" Kyo said, flailing his spoon around. I laughed a little.

"Calm down, geez. Just asking a polite question. And no, I didn't mood swing!" I hissed back. Kyo rolled his red orbs at me. Just when I thought he'd back down, he stood up, as if on top of the world.

"Okay then, Hatsuharu! I challenge you to a duel!" he yelled out.

"What?! We all know I'd win!" I stood up too, as if on top of the highest mountain in the world, holding up a fist of pride. I smoothed my silver locks and grinned evilly at Kyo.

"Yeah right, in your dreams. If you're so cool, then let's arm wrestle. That should be simple enough for you." Kyo laughed. I raised my eyebrows.

"Fine. You're on." I sat back down, holding out my right arm.

"If I win, you suck. And that's a fact. If you win, I suck for life." Kyo half smiled.

"Bring it on, orangey." I joked. Kyo's face turned red as we began. Kyo's muscle tensed up and he pushed as hard as he could. He gave an angry look when my arm didn't budge. I had the advantage, what with fighting more than him in life. I pushed hard too, making sure Kyo didn't budge my arm one bit. Kyo's breath shortened and he started to breathe hard. His arm was half way down as I was going in for the kill. But then, Rin's face came to mind. What if she were here watching? I let that distract me, allowing Kyo to push my arm upwards, giving him the advantage.

"Damn…" I muttered.

"Getting flustered, Haru boy?" Kyo sneered, wrinkling his nose as he pushed my arm down. But I wasn't about to give up. Then I heard some footsteps coming down the stairs. I looked to see who it was, and that was my only mistake. It was Rin. My whole body weakened, causing my arm to loosen. Kyo slammed my wrist against the table. I had lost.

"Ha! I win! You suck, Haru!" Kyo snickered, as if he won a huge prize.

"Shut up, that's because Rin was distracting me! I would have beaten you to the pulp orange boy!" I laughed out. Rin came over and sat next to us.

"Oh hey, did Yuki wake you up? There's rice porage or Ramen noodles, your pick. Don't worry, Yuki made the rice porage, so it's not poisoned." I told Rin, glaring at Kyo, implying that he'd poisoned the porage.

"What the hell is _that _suppose to mean?" Kyo messed up his hair, his way of saying he was nervous I guess. He glared at me harder.

"What do _you_ think it means? It means you and Shigure suck at cooking anything! You'd burn water!" I snickered and stood up, pointing at Kyo. After lunch, we all hung around, and Rin sat looking out a window.

"Hey, if you wanted to, maybe we could go out to dinner later. My treat. You know, we could get to know each other maybe too." I smiled. Rin looked hesitant. I didn't blame her though.

"Um…Are you sure?" she asked, possibly feeling uneasy about the whole thing.

"Yeah, really. Kyo and Yuki are suppose to 'bond' tonight, since they never get along. And Shigure is gonna stay in and attempt to write another romance novel. Me, I have nothing to do, so you wanna eat out tonight? On me, and I promise I won't do anything…" I laughed, holding out both my hands.

"Do anything? As in?" she asked, oblivious to my attempt at flirting with her.

"Oh, yeah, you know…Never mind, I sound stupid." I said, embarrassed. I managed to laugh it off though, so it was fine.

She didn't flat out say yes or anything, I was just assuming she'd come. But I'm guessing it was a yes since later on, she was in her room, erm, Shigure's writing room getting ready. That's what she told me at least. Hey, it's not like I followed her in there! As I was watching TV, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Yuki yelled through the hallway and came running to the door. It was Machi, Yuki's girlfriend.

"Oh, hello Machi." Yuki greeted her. I looked through the door and saw Rin come downstairs.

"Oh, hello again, Rin. Um, this is my girlfriend, Machi." Yuki said to Rin, as Machi bowed.

"Yes, we've met before." Rin said, sounding a little annoyed.

"Why, yes we have. Just yesterday actually." Machi said, smiling. Hm, must have been a small world after all.

"Well, that's nice." Yuki nodded. All of a sudden, Kyo ruined their moment.

"What the heck is she doing here?" Kyo rudely hissed.

"Oh Kyo, it's been a year since I've seen you." Machi smiled.

"Kyo, must you be so rude to our guests?" Yuki glared straight at Kyo. He turned back to his girlfriend and gave a warm look.

"Machi, would you like to spend the evening with Kyo and I?" Crap, Yuki was just asking for a sneak attack or a yelling from Kyo. But Yuki can handle him.

"I would like that. Unless you two already had plans. I just thought I'd drop in and say hello. I haven't seen you in a small while. I got a little…Lonely I guess…" Machi closed her eyes and smiled like a sweet little girl would. Kyo looked as if he wanted to kill someone.

"Ever heard of a phone call?" Kyo asked, violently biting into his rice ball.

"Shut up, retard, be nice, they're in love! You and Yuki can bond some other time!" I stupidly hissed at him.

"Eh, whatever, I was gonna watch a movie anyway." Kyo just shrugged and walked away. Heh, talk about moodswing.

"At any rate, oh, Rin…Sorry, didn't notice you there." I laughed, acting as though I didn't see her at all. I wanted to act casual. She smiled but quickly looked down.

"I don't have anything to wear tonight…" Rin quietly said. I looked over at Machi. Her eyes were brightened up. I gave a small smile.

"Oh, so you and Haru are going on a date too?" I suddenly felt hot. Ugh, my face was probably red.

"No, actually, it's more of a 'getting to know each other dinner'. We barely know each other, so I decided to, um, invite Rin to dinner tonight." I told her, hopefully she wouldn't misunderstand that Rin and I were _just friends_. That was it, and I doubt it'd get any further than that. Machi walked up to Rin and smiled.

"Well then, how about you come over to my house, I have tons of outfits that would look good on you, Rin." Machi offered, asking her with a big smile on her face.

"Oh no, that's fine…" Rin's eyes dimmed, and it's as if she was giving a phony smile. It was obvious she didn't really want Machi in her space, at least that's what I was guessing.

"No, really…It's fine. I want to get to know you too." Machi's expression didn't change in the time of asking Rin and to the time when she said no. Now Rin seemed to have no choice but to say yes. To make it worse, Yuki chimed in, a loving grin on his face.

"Go on, it'll be fine. Machi wouldn't hurt a fly. Plus, you probably need a female to talk to after being here with all these men." Yuki gave a laugh. Actually, he had a point. What with Rin being here with just me, Kyo and Yuki. To make it worse, Shigure the pervy writer was here too. I decided I should probably say something, just to show Rin she was in good hands with Yuki's girlfriend.

"Yeah...Go on, I'll figure out where we can eat tonight." I tried to smile, but I felt uneasy for some reason. I had a small feeling this "date" would be awkward. I shook the feeling though. Rin nodded, and gave a look as if she was confined to say yes. She left with Machi and Yuki and I stood there. Yuki looked at me and smiled.

"I'm glad you're not moving too fast with Rin." What the hell?

"What are you talking about?" I asked, acting as if I didn't know what he was talking about.

"You know what I mean, Hatsuharu. Don't try and hide it, it's already been found out about you and your last girlfriend. So don't act as if you don't know that I know. So that's why I'm saying. This is an improvement." Yuki gave a stern yet proud look and walked away. I glared at him and sighed. _What the hell was that about? _I thought to myself.

But the thing was...I knew what exactly he meant, and I knew exactly what the hell that was all about. I just couldn't grasp that Yuki found out. And did Shigure or Kyo know about my...Last girlfriend...Or should I say...My last _girlfriends_...

I decided to shove the memories aside and watch some TV. Kyo walked in a minute later, chowing down on a cookie.

"Hey, shouldn't you be getting ready for your date? Yuki is, he's taking an hour shower again. That dumbass, doesn't he know Shigure hardly makes any dough these days? Ugh..." Kyo bit in his cookie and jumped on the couch beside me. I pushed the TV on mute. Ninja Warriors was on. I decided to pop the question.

"Hey, Kyo. How did Yuki find out about this problem I have that I've never told anyone?" I asked.

"What? What problem? What the hell are you even asking about?" Kyo raised his eyebrow and finished off his cookie. He wiped the crumbs off his lips and looked at me.

"Well, you know...Unless you don't know...Okay, you know I've had girlfriends in the past." I must have triggered his memory, because he said his long "Ohhhhhh...That problem..."

"Yeah _that _problem. Well, you know about though, don't you? How the hell did you and Yuki find out? And does Shigure know?!" I yelled.

"Well, duh, of course we know about it. Yuki said he walked in on you and her when--" I quickly cut Kyo off.

"Enough! Okay, okay, I get it. But then why didn't tell me?" I yelled.

"Dude, that was what? Two years ago? Why are you even bringing it up now? Wait...This doesn't have to do with Rin does it?" Kyo asked, shifting positions.

"Well, yeah...Kind of. After Rin left with Machi to get ready, Yuki said some crap. He said, 'I'm glad you're not moving too fast with Rin' or something like that." I shook my head. I felt a headache coming on.

"Hmm...Well, Yuki does have a point you know. I mean, you were only going out with your last girlfriend for like, a month, and then the girlfriend before that, you got her in bed after a week of going out!" Kyo laughed. I clenched my fists together.

"You bastard!" I yelled, tackling him to the ground. The coffee table fell over.

"Ugh! What the--I was only saying the truth!" Kyo's face began to turn red as he struggled from my grasp. I took a huge breath and let him go. He sat up and straightened his neck and cracked his knuckles.

"Holy crap, don't tell me you're on your Black Haru again!" Kyo glared, standing up. "Gah..."

"Ugh...Sorry man...It's just...I try not to remember my past mistakes. Sex and drinking was all I knew back then. And getting with a girl made me feel as if I had power. It didn't matter how long I was going out with her. I didn't even like them you know? I just used them..." I could feel my throat tightening up.

"The thing is, at least you've changed. But what changed you?" asked Kyo. I thought about my mother and father. My abusive mother and my stupid father. They told me to be a man, and I took that the wrong way. Then my father kept getting drunk. I could feel the memory in the back of my mind lurk to my mind's eye. It was two years ago, before I got into drugs and drinking and sex...

_**Two Years Ago**_

I came home from school and threw my bag on the floor. There sat my father, with another woman. He was drunk and she was half naked. I was only fifteen at the time, but it seemed normal to see a woman with so much skin showing, what with my dad always watching...Porn when I was a child.

"Dad? Who is she?" I asked, a little surprised to see him drunk at four in the afternoon. Usually it'd be late at night or at dawn when he'd be drunk. The woman smiled, adjusting her pink bra and tugging at her white skirt. She was smoking. She blew the smoke towards me and smiled.

"Hey doll, I'm your dad's secretary. The name's Aiya. We had a little meeting while you were at school." she smiled. I stepped back as my dad stood up.

"What the hell are you doing home so early? Your damn mother said you'd be home later since you get tutoring now." he glared and took a sip of his beer.

"They don't offer tutoring anymore, Dad. Our school's too poor." I told him.

"Whatever, go to your room. I'm in a meeting now." he threw his canned beer to the side and sat back down by the woman.

"Where is mom anyway?" I asked.

"She's out..." my dad said, as he began to kiss the woman. I was shocked at this. All I could do was stare. It was all too shocking for me. I was paralized. I was scarred for life. "I said go to your room, dammit! I'm busy! Be a man and you'd get a woman like this too!" he yelled and removed the woman's bra. She giggled and I looked away. I ran out of the house and began to cry. I ran and ran that day. All the way to an empty ally. From there on out, I felt as if I had to be a man. I felt as if I had to do what my dad said.

So I started to go to parties out in the country. I got into drinking and soon drugs. I also met a girl. Her name was Atsuka. I felt that I had power because she was only fourteen. After a week, I had sex with her at a party. She hated me after that. Then there was Mamika, she and I lasted about two months. In the first month, I had sex with her in her own room, while her mother was home. Her mother trusted her, and even allowed co-ed sleepovers. She trusted Mamika and I wouldn't do anything, as long as she was there in the same house.

But there we lay, in Mamika's bed, her head on my bare chest, me stroking her hair. I didn't like her. I just wanted to be a man, just as my father said to be. Then was started talking.

"Have you ever..._did it?" _I asked.

"No...Why? Have you?" Mamika asked.

"No..." I lied.

"Hm...Really now? So I'd be your first, would I?" Mamika smiled and sat up.

"You...Want to?" I asked, slowly falling into a daze. I could barely hear her. She was talking so quietly, lulling me to a small slumber.

"Wake me up...and...we'll...do...this..." I whispered. From there, she gave me a hand job. I felt more powerful. I felt I had so much power over her. Truth was, I felt invincible. I felt I had her wrapped around my finger. Then we did it. The next month after that, I broke up with her. She hated me too.

_**Two Years Later**_

But something changed me two years later...It was my mother...Her abuse got worse...But I needed to take power over that. I had to escape. Then I met Isuzu...She too said she was abused. I saved her and felt as if I found another piece of me. But she dissappeared after I...After I killed her step father.

Then came Rin...There was no doubt in my mind she was Isuzu. Isuzu hasn't left my mind and now that I have a chance to get to know Rin...Isuzu...I'm going to do things the right way. I want to know her. I want to be friends with her. More than anything...I want to bond with her. I looked at Kyo.

"What changed me? I guess it was fate. And...Rin..." I smiled.

"Ahh...so it was true love that changed you then?" Kyo's words made my face feel hot. I glared at him.

"Shut up!" I stood up and walked upstairs to get ready.

Afterwards, the phone rang. Kyo answered. "Yeah, he's here. Haru! It's for you!" he yelled. I came down and answered.

"Yeah?"

"Oh, hey Haru, Rin's ready, so where are you guys eating?" Machi asked.

"That one resturaunt called Elegance." I told her.

"She'll meet you there."

"Be sure to tell her it's all on me." I explained, smiling.

"Okay...I'll tell her." I hung up the phone and turned to Kyo. Kyo's eyebrow was raised.

"So you gonna wear your dumb trench coat?" Kyo asked.

"It's all I've got." I shrugged.

"I think Yuki can fix that." Kyo said, sighing and taking me to Yuki's room. Before I knew it, I was wearing white pants and a black silk shirt. I got in my car and waved at them as I pulled out. I got to the resteraunt to see Rin standing there. I got out and came up to her.

"You look nice..." I said, almost nervously, yet still smiling. She wouldn't look me in the eye though. I felt as if she was shutting me out. But I fought back by staring into her eyes, forcing her to gaze into mine. Machi left as I led her into the resteraunt.

I couldn't believe that Rin actually agreed to this. It was almost as if we were on a...date or something. But no, we weren't. At least, that's what Rin probably wanted to believe. But either way you look at it, it was a date.

We were seated and we looked around at the resteraunt, silent for a little while. Then I locked eyes with Rin.

"So...how are you liking it at Shigure's house so far?" I asked.

"Oh...It's fine. Shigure isn't as bad as you guys say." she smiled.

"Heh, that's what he _wants_ you to think. He's a writer, and writers can have lots of different personalities. It scares us sometimes. Anyway, you've only known him for a day now." I laughed, hoping I wasn't judging her or anything. I mean, who'd want to judge someone as beautiful inside and out as she was? Wait, what was I saying? I had to make her confess she was really Isuzu. Maybe that's why I wanted to get closer to her.

"Um...Yeah, I guess you're right. Hey, Haru, how long do you think I'll be staying here? Forever? I wanted to stay for just one night, but then I realized..." she had a sad glint in her eyes.

"You realized what?" I asked.

"That I have no home to go back to." she shrugged. Was she confessing this?

"I see…Hm, I guess I kind of figured that." I shrugged too.

"Are you still not over that fact? I'm not Isuzu." She rather harshly said.

"Okay, okay, sorry if it seemed like I implied that. I wasn't trying to." I held up my hands. She shook her head and rubbed her temples.

"No…I'm sorry…It's just been…A hard year for me…" she sighed. I looked off into the distance at a couple having dinner. It would probably seem like that if someone else looked at Rin and I. It would seem as if her and I were a couple, happy and "in love". But we were just teens. Older teens, and friends hopefully. Rin looked at me. A waitress came over.

"What can I start you guys off with?" she smiled.

"I'll have a Pepsi…" Rin smiled.

"Um…I think I'll have a Coke." I said.

"Hm, daring tonight huh? We do have wine and stuff." She smiled, giving us some menus.

"Nah, soda's fine. Plus, I'm not in the mood for wine." Rin gave a grossed out face. The waitress laughed.

"Great, I'll be back." She walked away. Once again, we were both back to our awkward silence, glancing at each other once in a while. When the waitress came back with out pops, we drank some to ease the awkwardness, I'm guessing. Damn it, why was I like this around her? I sighed and Rin looked up at me.

"So…what did you want to do after this?" I asked.

"What? Well, it's not like we're on a date or anything, so you decide." She weirdly said, shifting in her chair.

"Hm…how about a movie?" I suggested.

"_Now_ you're making it sound like a date." She laughed. That broke the ice, so I began to laugh along. Things began to feel a bit more comfortable. Then it got quiet. But then, she spoke up.

"Hey Haru…I've been thinking a lot…" she paused then began again. "About the flower maze the other night, or last night, I can hardly remember. But anyway. Remember when I said I was like the thistle blossoms?" she smiled.

"Yeah? What about it? You're not—" She cut me off.

"Let me finish. I meant what I said about that. You can't get close to me…but then you said they get these beautiful blossoms on them…did you mean…that I was beautiful?" she asked. I instantly felt hot.

"Um...well, you know...I meant your soul was beautiful. I mean, I don't know you yet, but I mean your eyes...Ugh...What I'm trying to say is..." I looked away, palms sweating.

"You meant to say that I am beautiful?" she shyly smiled.

"Come on, someone with good taste and awesome vision can obviously see that you're...Very pretty." I said, unable to say the simple word "beautiful". I sighed and looked away. She gave a gentle smile and sighed too.

"Nobody's ever actually told me I was pretty before..." she said, a small crack in her voice. But I didn't see why someone wouldn't call her pretty. She is pretty. No...That's just looking at her face. She's beautiful, inside and out. I could already tell. But...Was it too early to tell her she was beautiful inside and out?

_"I'm glad you're not going too fast with Rin."_

Yuki's damn words stuck in my head. I have changed. Haven't I? Actually...I have...Because when I look at Rin...I don't feel sexual attraction. I mean, any other guy my age would think she's hot. I mean, she does have a nice figure, but...That's not why I wanted to know her. When I look at her...I feel...Strange. Like, my whole body is melting and my heart won't stop beating. My palms sweat and all I want to do is hold her. Not have sex with her. Just hold her in my arms, and tell her that we can fight this together. Our past, since we've both been abused.

I finaled revealed something to myself. I was revealing my feelings. I liked Rin. I wanted to get to know her more. I wanted to be with her more than anything else. I was no longer in denial. After we ordered and as our food came, we ate in silence. An occasional glance. A small smile here and there. It seemed Rin was warming up to me, but just by a little. Yet, I still had to decipher this feeling inside of me. I've never felt like this before. Never...

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**The longer your silence continues**_

_**It's as if I can hear a voiceless scream**_

_**And my hear feels like it's being ripped in two**_

_**Why am I so powerless and foolish?**_

_**Thought I held your hand, I can't even protect you**_

_**I won't say that I want you to forgive me someday**_

_**If you're going to fight alone now**_

_**Then that's a sure signal to me**_

_**Wishing for strength, you hid something**_

_**With your tears, for my sake alone**_

_**I want to show you the extraordinary view**_

_**Of that place at which we'll someday arrive**_

_**That's the signal to tomorrow, to the future...**_

xxxxx


	24. Memorial Address

**Rated Mature:**Language, Certain Situations, Abuse and Drugs

**Author's Notes:**Happy Mothers Day! This is to all those who never really had a mom be there for them. Also to those who love their mother dearly. This is for you! Enjoy lovely readers!

**Disclaimer:** Obviously I don't own Fruits Basket nor do I own any of the characters. Just using them for a little twist of my own. Just so you all know, this fic doesn't follow the original storyline of Furuba. The characters are all OOC, just to warn you. The opening song is "The Rain Leaves a Scar" by L'arcenCiel, and the ending song is "Criminal" by Ayumi Hamasaki. The insert song "Memorial Address" is also by Ayumi Hamasaki.

**Chapter Preview:**_The questions wouldn't stop. I was angry, I was happy, I was sad and I was hurt yet relieved she was okay. All of these emotions at once. _All of them at once_. It seems like it's all still a dream. And I can't even cry..._

_**Fruits Basket**_

**:Xx****Insomnia****Xx:**

**By Kaiya**

_**Isuzu's Side**_

**xXxXxXx**

**:XXIV:**

"**Memorial Address"**

xxxxx

_**The short-lived bouquet burnt out**_

_**Withered by the cold flames that night**_

_**My beloved, where am I?**_

_**Covered in sediment, I can't break free**_

_**I feel ou in that flickering brightness**_

_**When I awoke in the morning, a warm rain**_

_**That had forgotten how to stop poured down**_

_**That gently erases the noise, but**_

_**Why doesn't it wash me away?**_

_**Ah, I felt you in that flickering brightness**_

_**You once overflowed in my hand**_

_**But now I can't see you**_

_**My voice is being shut off**_

_**I can't shout anything**_

_**Buried in the crowd**_

_**Tell me**_

_**Where I am now?**_

_**Why can't i get out here?**_

_**Why can't I get out here?**_

_**Ah, I felt you in that flickering brightness**_

_**But now I can't tie you down**_

_**Everything sways fleetingly**_

_**You once overflowed in my hand**_

_**But now I can't see you**_

_**Now knowing a way to escape**_

_**I can't even say goodbye**_

_**My voice is being shut off**_

_**I can't shout anything**_

_**Buried in the crowd**_

_**Tell me...**_

_**Where am I now?**_

xxxxx

"Thank you, Haru, for the wonderful dinner. I haven't eaten like that in forever." I smiled and bowed to him as he and I walked out of the resteraunt. Actually, I've never eaten like that. Ever. But I didn't want him knowing that. He gave a grin and ruffled his silver locks.

"Anytime, just ask." then he opened the car door for me. I slowly stepped in and sat down in the cold, leather seat. I shivered and Haru got in. There were obvious goose bumps on my legs, so I crossed them and hugged myself. I looked out the window. Haru turned to me.

"You cold?" he asked, starting the car.

"No..." I lied, pretending it was warm.

"I can smell a lie from a mile away. Here, you can wear this until the car warms up. The late show starts a nine. The movie theater is like, ten minutes from here. What would you like to see?" Haru smiled as he handed me his black, leather jacket. It was nice and warm. It smelled of cologne. To tell the truth, it smelled good.

"It doesn't matter. Whatever's good." I shrugged. Haru nodded and pulled out and drove forward. It was silent the first five minutes. Then Haru began to talk.

"So, how did you and Machi get along?" he stopped at a stop light. Cars illuminated the streets and lit up Haru's smooth face. His electric eyes glistened as the red light turned green.

"She was nice. Very nice. I can see why Yuki likes her. She has a soft heart..." Machi's tender eyes came to mind. I thought of Tohru again. That song, "Part of Me" replayed in my head. The slow and beautiful melody. I wish I had kept that CD with me. But I left it at the hospital after they took me to the asylum.

"Yeah, Yuki has a weakness for girls in need and stuff. He's just Yuki, you know? He's like the guy I admire most." Haru laughed. I thought about Haru's fight with those gang members on the night we met and the night he saved me.

"You admire Yuki, but you're so...Like, the rebellious type." I almost whispered.

"Heh, yeah, lots of people say that I guess. But it's funny, I am rebellious and yet, I admire a sophisticated, violet eyed nice guy, huh? Hm, I admire him because he's what I can never be." Haru sighed, squeezing the steering wheel.

"And what's that?" I curiously asked, blinking at the street lights. There was a small pause and he spoke again.

"He's brave, yet soft hearted. He's sensitive yet strong. He can control his anger, his emotions, and his disipline. He notices the smallest of things and he's caring and loving. He has a knack for showing it too. When we were little kids, I always talked to him when I'd..." Haru stopped abruptly. His eyes began to tear. I swallowed, wishing I could take back what I'd asked about what he wasn't and what Yuki was. He shook his head.

"See? Here's a perfect example. Yuki can control his emotions...I can't..." he cleared his throat and continued. "I'd talk to Yuki when...I had a fight with my parents. He always knew what to say. He'd have an answer for everything. I felt so small. And I'd always lose a fight to Kyo, but Yuki would always win a fight with Kyo." Haru sighed as we pulled into the theater. He sniffled and got out to open my door.

"Sorry about that...You probably didn't want to hear me rambling on about some crappy past and my crappy admirations." he laughed as I got out.

"No, no, really...It wasn't that bad. I like to hear other's stories. They intrest me." I smiled and nodded. "So, let's go see a thriller, to get our minds off this emotional stuff huh?" I selfelessly said, slowly taking Haru's hand and leading him to the entrance. What was up with me? Why was I acting this way? I was acting as if I was best friends with Haru or something. It was strange. As we entered the theater, a girl in green and dark hair stood in the snack line. I couldn't see her face, but she looked somewhat...Familiar.

"I'd like a milk shake with some...Caramel in it..." she said to the cashier. Then it hit me...

No...It couldn't be. Haru paid for the tickets as I stared at the girl in green.

"Impossible..." I whispered. No...It definently wasn't...I could be...It was impossible...There was no way in hell it was...

_Her..._

_Was it?_

_Could it be...her?_

She slowly turned around, sipping her milk shake. Her big grey eyes shimmered in the florescent lights of the theater. Her dark hair was pulled back in a half pony tail, and her green skirt and jacket complimented her skin tone. I knew that face. It was definently her...

_It was my sister..._

_Kagura..._

I quickly turned away as she walked into one of the movie rooms.

"Ready to go in or do you want something?" Haru asked, handing me a ticket.

"Um...How about I get the seats and you get the snacks, fair?" I asked, wondering if this was all some kind of dream. The throbbing of my scars and scabs on my arms began to act up again. The pain was mild, but it was still pain. So this wasn't a dream. It was reality. I turned to Haru. He nodded and went to the snacks. I went into the same movie room as Kagura did. So she was seeing thriller too. She was always that type.

I haven't seen her in so long. Why here though? Why now? Was it fate that we were here? No, fate wasn't real. It couldn't be. It had to be mere couinsidence. It...couldn't be...Or maybe I was dead and seeing things. Ugh, what was going on? 

As I entered the dark theater, the movie screen was flashing advertisements of food and popcorn. Then they advertised some DVDs and told us to keep our feet off the seats. I walked down the aisle and saw her sitting way in the front. I sat two rows behind her so I could get a good view of her. So this was reality. And there was no doubt in my mind it was Kagura. My only sister, here, in the same theater. Millions of thoughts raced through my head.

_Did she know I ran away?_

_Did she know our step father was dead? Or better yet, murdered?_

_Did she miss me?_

_Did she even remember me?_

_Did she know that when she left, she took a huge piece of me with her? _

_Did she know I missed her?_

_Did she know I was angry with her for leaving me all alone to be abused and raped by our own step father? _

The questions wouldn't stop. I was angry, I was happy, I was sad and I was hurt yet relieved she was okay. All of these emotions at once. _All of them at once_. A few minutes later, Haru came in with two sodas and a huge cup of popcorn. He sat next to me and handed me a soda.

"Thanks..." I barely managed to say, still dazed that Kagura was two rows in front of me.

"So, this movie is called 'Midnight Dangers'. Kind of a lame name if you ask me. Hey, have you ever noticed the thriller movies always have crappy names? And they're always cheesy or something. Same with horror movies. The names are even more stupid though. Like that one movie called 'Gory Zombies' or whatever. Crappy ass names! Have you seen that one before?" Haru was rambling on. But I was only half listening to him.

"Huh, oh yeah..." I said, only glancing breifly at him.

"Hey, you okay? You must really be into these pre-movie advertisements. They just continuously play you know? And those dumb trivia questions they ask. Like, 'who played L in Death Note?' and the answers would be 'L Lawliet himself', 'Kentaro Fuji', or 'Kenichi Matsuyama'. I mean, everyone knows L Lawliet isn't real! And Kentaro Fuji was a hard core criminal in Japan that got killed last year in a car accident! And Kenichi Matsuyama is the so called 'heart throb' of Japan, AND he's an actor. Anyone with common sense would know that! Duh!" Haru laughed and threw some popcorn at the screen. It nearly hit Kagura.

"Uh huh..." I said, still staring at the back of Kagura's head.

"Did I do something or are you more into girls, because you're staring at one right now." Haru said. That got my attention. I turned to him, glaring.

"What? No, I'm fine. And no, I wasn't staring at her. I was just wondering who that was." I stuipdly said, shaking myself out of my daze and back into reality.

"Oh, that girl? Hm, I think Shigure knows her. I thought she looked familiar when I came in. Shigure has a picture of her on his wall in the living room, above the TV. Don't know how he knows her though, but I think it's better not to question the women in Shigure's life. To tell the truth, she looks pretty young. Then again, Shigure is always writing about younger women and older men in his novels...What a perv." Haru laughed and took a gulp of his pop.

"Really now...Hm...Guess I'll have to ask him then." I whispered to myself.

"What? Did you say something?" Haru asked.

"No, it was nothing." I said, sighing. The movie started as more people piled into the late show. Huge letters appeared across the screen saying "Midnight Dangers". Then a girl appeared wearing a nightgown as a shadowy figure began to chase her with a knife. I rolled my eyes. A family of five sat in front of me, so Kagura was out of my vision.

A painful hour and a half later, the credits rolled on the screen. People got up and began to pour out. Haru and I were fully outside as most of the crowd left. No sign of Kagura. Haru yawned and led me to the car.

"So how'd you like that?" he asked. Heck, I couldn't even pay attention throughout half the movie due to my thoughts racing, and how I would ask Shigure about who Kagura was. It was silent most of the way back to Shigure's house. I got out and ran to the door. Haru slowly came and took out some keys.

"Hold your horses, you must be tired huh? Well, it was a crappy and tiring movie, so I don't blame you." Haru laughed and opened the door. I stepped in the dark entrance and into the living room. I switched on the light and on top of the TV was a picture of Kagura. Why didn't I notice it before? I didn't watch TV and guess I didn't bother to examine this house very much.

"Where's Shigure?" I rather rudly asked.

"Probably sleeping, why?" Haru asked, peeling off his leather jacket and throwing it on the couch. "Wanna ask him who that girl is?" Haru asked, noticing me staring at Kagura's picture. It was a more recent one. She was wearing a white long sleeved shirt and looked nice. She looked older too. She's changed since I last saw her. But it's been a while, would she remember me as the way I look now? Well, of course she would, but she'd probably reject me. That's why she probably left me, was because she hated me or something.

I had to talk to Kagura somehow. I had to find out more about why she's here, how she knows Shigure and somehow, meet up with her and get mad at her. Or hug her or question her about why the left. I turned to Haru.

"I'll talk to Shigure tomorrow. Can you tell him?" I asked.

"Um, sure. Do you know this girl or something?" Haru asked.

"Yeah...I guess you can say that. But I've come to know her as a stranger now, I guess. I just have a few questions for her. Nothing more." I shrugged, and before Haru could ask anything else, I ran upstairs and into Shigure's writing room and got ready for bed. I slipped out of Machi's clothes and into my old clothes. I laid down and stared at the cieling. I felt more anger rise and more sadness. I fell asleep, dreaming about my mother and Kagura. I dreamt about that day my mother told me she'd leave us if her life went wrong. And about her killing herself. And about Kagura leaving without a real goodbye.

I cried in my sleep and was awoken by the phone ringing. I sat up and rubbed my tear stained eyes. My throat hurt and that sadness remained in my heart, even through sleep. I opened the door and saw Shigure talking on the phone.

"Oh, don't worry! I've got the first chapter done already! I'll turn it in later today, if that's okay with you. I know...I know...I'm not lazy, I've just got a lot on my plate at the moment...No, I didn't sleep in, it's only eleven anyway! I have to go, the miso soup is burning!" Shigure laughed and hung up. He sighed and looked up to see me at the top of the stairs. My heart flipped over.

"Oh, were you there the whole time? Heh, sorry about that. My stobborn editor wants me to turn in my newest story to her so she can edit it. She says she has no work now that I'm procrastinating on my stories. She's so stubborn!" Shigure laughed and I came down the stairs.

"I see..." I said, looking at the picture of Kagura on the TV again.

"Oh, yeah, Hatsuharu said you wanted to talk to me about something. He left with Kyo this morning to get some take out. I lied to my editor about the miso soup burning. There is none! Ha! Anyway, now then, come, do sit and we'll talk." Shigure led me into the kitchen and we sat at the little dining table. I sighed and fiddled with my fingers.

"Well...Last night...Haru and I went to the movies and I saw that girl you have a picture of. And I was wondering...Who she was." I said out.

"Oh her? She's my editor! Ha, funny story, she needed a job really badly when she came here lots of months ago, almost a year actually, and she saw my sign all over town, so she came here asking to be my editor. She had to take an english grammar test of course, and she past. She is very good so I hired her to be my editor. That was her on the phone actually. Now she lives in Sunset Apartments a couple blocks away from here. She's helped me publish one book so far and she's very wonderful!" Shigure smiled.

"I see...What's her name?" I asked.

"Oh, Kagura. What a nice name, huh? She's very mature." Shigure stood up and took the picture off the TV and handed it to me. "This picture was taken at my book signing for my new novel debut. I took it and wanted to remember my very good editor! She is quite the lady actually. But she seems lonely..." Shigure's words caught my full attention.

"Oh...Lonely? Like, how? Where's her family?" I asked.

"Family? She said her mother abandoned her and her step father made her leave. She said she had no siblings to connect to, said she was an only child and left here. Poor thing, she's been lonely all her life..." Shigure sighed. Damn it. So that lying Kagura was only here because she lied about her life. I guess now I know how she feels about me. I don't exsist apparently and she was kicked out huh? She always had a knack for telling sad stories to get her way I guess.

"I see...I'd like to meet her..." I barely said, feeling even more angry. I had to confront her. I just had to...

"Really? Wow, that'd be nice. I'll invite her over for dinner tonight then. How does that sound? That way I can hand her my first chapter! I'd better work on that. You can sit here and wait for Haru to come back. I'll be in my room writing like mad!" Shigure ran to his room and shut the door. I sat thinking, and when Haru came home he gave me some rice and soy sauce. I ate quickly and sat waiting all day. Haru and Kyo were playing video games and Yuki came in with Machi.

"Oh, hello there." Machi said to me.

"Oh, hey...I have your clothes. Would you like me to get them?" I asked, standing up from the dining table.

"Sure..." Machi bowed as I ran upstairs and got her clothes. I gave them to her and she smiled. Yuki had his arm around her.

"Thanks again for letting me borrow these. And thanks for...um...making me look decent..." I shyly said.

"Don't be silly, you already look decent, no matter what." Machi smiled again. I gave a small smile and sat back down. There was an awkward pause and I turned to Yuki.

"Oh yeah, Kagura's coming for dinner tonight. Shigure's editor." I stupidly blurted out.

"Really? Hm, I've actually met her once. She seemed nice. I guess it'll be another chance for you to get some female company here again." Yuki smiled.

"No, it's fine. It's like having four brothers for me." I laughed.

"I'm glad you're warming up to us very quickly." Yuki looked at his girlfriend and grabbed her hand.

"Yeah, well you and Shigure sure know how to make a girl feel welcome." I smiled at him and Machi. Machi gave a warm smile and scooted closer to Yuki.

"Glad to hear it...So then, Machi, would you like to sit down?" Yuki let his girlfriend sit down at the dining table. As the day rushed by, evening came in a flash and I found myself in the shower. When I was done, I stepped out and stared at myself in the fogged mirror. I grabbed a towel, and all of a sudden, someone opened the door on me. I turned, dropping the towel. There stood Shigure.

"Oh my! I'm sorry! I hadn't realized anybody was in here!" He quickly shut the door. I felt my face flush and quickly grabbed the towel and placed it over my body. I sighed, my heart pounding like mad. What had just happened? I decided to shove the event away and get ready for dinner. I got dressed and brushed my hair and went downstairs to see Shigure alone in the kitchen, preparing dinner. I sat down, feeling a little embarrased.

Shigure was wearing glasses and had on a white long sleeved shirt and black pants on. His hair was shiny and ruffled a little. I could feel my heart pounding, as I examined Shigure's muscles through his thin, white shirt. He turned and was slightly startled by me sitting there.

"Oh, good evening, Rin. Look about earlier...I seriously didn't know you were in there. I thought you'd be in your upstairs bathroom..." Shigure smiled a little.

"It's fine, really. Nothing happened as far as I know." I gave a small smile too. I could feel myself blushing.

"Really, I should make it up to you. Extra ice cream sound good?" he laughed. I laughed along. Then Haru and Kyo walked in. Haru sat across from me and Kyo sat next to him. Shigure ended up sitting by me.

"Miss Kagura should be here any minute." Shigure smiled. Suddenly, the door bell rang. "That's her...Who wants to get it?" he asked.

"I will..." I sat up and ran to the door, not really realizing what I was getting myself into. I opened the door and there she was, in a black shirt and jeans.

"Good evening, Shi--" she bowed and when she looked up, she saw me. My heart was pounding. 

"You're, Kagura, right?" I casually said, putting on a brave face. I clenched my fists together, wanting to slap her pretty, little face up. Wanting to yell at her all kinds of ways. Wanting to hurt her the way she's hurt me. She was speechless.

"You...Can't be...Can you?" Kagura asked, shocked.

"Oh, but I am...Hey big sis, miss me?" I said, glaring at her. She let herself in and I shut the door.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Kagura angrily whispered. "How is it even possible you're here?" she gave a glare.

"It's a small world, you know? But you wouldn't know that, since you don't stop to take a look around. You're too busy running away from your problems." I said, feeling hypocritical. I had run from my problems, but that was because I was being abused. She ran away because there was no other way out. She couldn't endure what I had endured for months on end.

"This isn't the place to argue. We'll talk later." Kagura glared and pushed her way past me and inside. I followed, feeling invincible. Once inside, she sat by Shigure. I sat by Haru.

"So I see you two have met! How is she? She behaved right?" Shigure asked me.

"She was great. She is nice actually." I lied, giving a phony smile. Kagura was fake smiling too. Problem was, when she did fake smile, her face turned red and she cleared her throat continuously. I tried not to roll my eyes and then we ate.

"So, how long have you known Shigure here?" I asked.

"Almost a year now. He gave me a job in my most vunerable time. And I don't believe I've met you two before." Kagura changed the subject, eyeing me then looking at Kyo then at Haru.

"Oh, sorry to be rude. I'm Hatsuharu. This is Kyo here. We're Shigure and Yuki's cousins." Haru explained.

"Speaking of which, were is Yuki anyway?" Kyo asked. Shigure spoke up.

"Oh, he went to dinner with Machi. Guess it slipped his mind to tell us earlier in the day. But hey, you can't pass up an opportunity with that precious little flower!" Shigure laughed. He stood up and took out some chocolate ice cream. He gave us all some and gave me an extra scoop. Haru kind of looked at me weird, but he didn't know about what had happend between Shigure and I earlier. But I'd rather not talk about _that_ at the table.

Fifteen minutes later, everyone was done with their ice cream. I stood up.

"I'd like to get to know Kagura a lot better. How about a walk?" I asked, giving a phony smile at Kagura.

"That'd be nice." she barely said, and we excused ourselves.

"Be safe my little flowers!" Shigure said as we left the house. I looked at the stars as we walked away from the house in silence. Once we were a resonable ways away from the house, we stopped at a small park bench and released everything.

"How is it you're here? How do you even know him?" Kagura asked, glaring.

"Oh, just because I'm not all helpless and crap and need a job, I can't be there? They offered it to me because I was all alone and had nowhere else to go. And now that I realize it, you're probably only here because you want to seduce Shigure or something!" I yelled, not even knowing what I was saying.

"Yeah, and living in a house with four men or whatever isn't slutty? You were always a whore, and needed male attention here and there. I'm only here because our stupid step father was getting on my nerves. I had nowhere else to go so I found a job with Shigure and he's quite the gentleman writer, and here you are messing around with him!" she yelled.

"What the hell are you getting at?! You fucking left us because you hated me! Admit it, you _wanted _our step dad to hurt me, you _wanted _to leave me behind because you couldn't stand to be around me! You left just because you knew you wouldn't be able to stand the pain I had to endure for months on end! You left just because Mom killed herself!" I yelled, tears streaming from my eyes.

"That's not true, Isuzu and you know it! You damn well know I didn't leave you behind on purpose. You damn well know that I left because I couldn't stand Mom's death. I left because seeing you reminded me too much of Mom..." Kagura's voice softened and tears ran down her cheeks. She turned away. I sniffled and glared at the ground. I wiped away the tears on my face and swallowed.

"Well...You could have at least wrote me. Or say a proper goodbye. Instead you left me to be raped and abused...Look! Look what I did to myself all this time just because I thought you hated me." I rolled up my sleeves as she turned around. All down my forearm up to my wrist were cuts and scars. Scabs and bruises.

"Oh...my...god...Isuzu...Why would you do this to yourself?" she came closer to examine my arm. She gently took my hands into hers. Tears landed on my cuts, stinging them. But I didn't care. "I'm sorry, Isuzu...If I had known you'd be hurting...This badly...Then I would have stayed..." she cried. I've never seen her cry this hard.

"You left me alone...At that house...I was all alone...Nobody to talk to. It hurts to know you forgotten about me." I said, my voice cracking.

"No, Isuzu...No...Don't you ever think I had forgotten about you. Do you know how many times I thought to go back home? But I was too afraid. I was afraid you'd have killed yourself. But look at you. You're a lot stronger than I am. A lot stronger than Mom was. A lot stronger than anybody I know. Isuzu...I'm...Sorry..." she embraced me and I hugged her back. I hugged hard. Suddenly, I felt nothing but happy. Happy I had my sister back. The anger had subsided that qucickly. She broke the hug and looked at me.

"I'm sorry for calling you a whore. It's just, I saw how that Hatsuharu guy was looking at you. And how Shigure was looking at you too. I guess I got jealous. You were always prettier than me, you know?" Kagura laughed.

"No, you're prettier. I was labled a slut at high school...And I ran far away and ended up here, I guess. Oh yeah...Nobuo...our dumbass step dad is dead..." I said, feeling relieved he could no longer hurt me or hunt me down.

"You serious?" Kagura asked, her face brightening up.

"Yeah...After I ran away, I guess he was killed. You have no idea what I've been through...And that Hatusharu guy, I call him Haru. He saved me from some gang members a few months back. I'll tell you everything..." I smiled and we took a walk in the park.

I told her everything. I told her about my cutting, about me taking a stand and running away. About the gang members and meeting Haru. I told her about the asylum, about Uotani, Hanajima, about Tohru, about everyone I met along the way. I told her about my obstacles and my run in with death, everything. Absolutely everything. She thought it was far fetched, but when I started to cry about how much I missed Tohru, she believed everything.

"It's strange...How all this can happen to you and yet...You're still hanging on to life. I'd probably would have killed myself by now." Kagura said, sighing. I was glad I had her back. I guess it was fate that I was here with her now. It wasn't a dream. Because you don't cry this hard in dreams. I thought about my mother. Then I looked at Kagura.

"Why did Mom kill herself?" I asked. Kagura stopped dead in her tracks. She turned to me.

"You should visit me tomorrow at the Sunset Apartments. I have a letter for you..." And from there, we walked back and she left. I fell asleep that night, still sad. I was awoken by the sound of the phone ringing, just like the morning before. It was for me though. It was Kagura.

"Hey there...So they have no idea I'm your sister right?" Kagura asked.

"Pretty much..." I told her.

"Okay, tell them you and I bonded so much you want to visit some more. Then have someone drive you here." she told me. I said okay and hung up. Haru drove me to the apartments.

"So then, you guys did get along fine?" Haru asked.

"I guess." I told him. I got out and waved at him. Then I came inside to the apartments. Kagura sat me down and handed me a letter.

"It's from Mom...her suicide letters..." Kagura sat next to me.

"So, she _did_ write something to us..." I said.

"No, she wrote this all to you. When she killed herself, she thought about you. I guess you were her closest daughter. I could never connect with Mom. We always fought, remember? She always loved me, but this letter explains everything. I took it before I left home because I was jealous of you. I guess that's why I left because seeing you made me cry. It made me sad to think Mom loved you more than me..." Kagura's tears emerged. I looked at the letter and opened it.

"Mom loved you, Kagura...She just didn't know how to deal with emotional things. She didn't know how to bond with someone who she was always fighting with." I told her. Kagura just looked down. I looked at the letter and read it...

_Isuzu,_

_I'm sorry to be writing this to you. I don't think you recall, but do you remember the day I took you and Kagura in the park and told you that marrying your step father felt like the wrong path? And I told you that if things got too hard for me, I'd leave you. Well, things are too hard and I never knew how to handle these kind of things. But I'll be watching you from above. I'll be the stars in the night sky, I'll be the wind stroking your face in the Spring. I'll be the raindrops in the summer showers, and I'll whisper goodnight to you before you go to sleep. I'm sorry for leaving you like this. But I'm sure you'll be able to deal, you're a strong girl, you always knew how to deal with hard obstacles. Do what I could never do. Be strong. _

_Mom_

I closed the letter and found tears running down my face. I looked at Kagura. She was crying too. I put the letter on the coffee table and sighed. There was no words left. Just thougts racing through each one of our heads.

_**I fell asleep late at night with a bad feeling**_

_**I remember having a really sad dream**_

_**Breaking the morning silence, that premonition**_

_**Became reality with the ringing of the phone**_

_**Leaving wounds in my heart that will never heal**_

_**All alone, you became a star**_

My mother just left us with our pains. She killed herself because she couldn't handle the pain of life. The obstacles. And yet, Kagura and I were able to handle the lives we were given.

_**Goodbye**_

_**You've gone somewhere where I can never see you again**_

_**I can't accept the coldness of this eternal goodbye**_

_**I wanted you to tell me, even if you were lying**_

_**That you really did love me**_

_**Even just once**_

My mother never really told us she loved us. She just said it with no meaning in her voice. Now that I think about it, even if she did say it, she could have at least sounded like she meant it. Even if she was lying. True mothers do that. That's what real mothers do. They love their daughters and they tell them they love them.

_**The curtain closes on the sadness I thought would last forever**_

_**The seasons change and the coldness seeps into my bones**_

_**But that was the beginning of a summer I'll never forget**_

_**This year the sky wept in my place**_

It rained endlessly on my life. The thoughts of my mother ran through my head. And yet...Most daughters would probably have gone mad if their mothers killed themselves. And yet, I'm still here.

_**It seems like it's all still a dream**_

_**And I can't even cry**_

I can remember that day I ran away. I was outside of the school's building. My fists bloody. I can still remember the shattered shards so clearly now.

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME HERE ALONE!?" I had yelled to the sky, as if to my mother. I felt my tears dry. I stopped crying, thinking of my mother.

_**Goodbye**_

_**My final words won't reach you**_

_**Now I know more than I ever wanted to the coldness of goodbye**_

_**I wanted you to tell me, even if you were lying**_

_**That you didn't regret our days together**_

_**Even just once**_

_**Why at the very, very end**_

_**Do you leave behind only memories?**_

_**Goodbye**_

_**You've gone somewhere where I can never see you again**_

_**I can't accept the coldness of this eternal goodbye**_

_**I wanted you to tell me, even if you were lying**_

_**That you really did love me**_

_**Even just once**_

_**Tell me that this is just a bad dream**_

_**And that I've not woken up yet...**_

I looked at Kagura and slowly hugged her.

"Maybe this is a dream...A really long dream..." I whispered to her.

"Then tell me to wake up..." she whispered back.

**To be continued...**

xxxxx

_**The longer your silence continues**_

_**It's as if I can hear a voiceless scream**_

_**And my hear feels like it's being ripped in two**_

_**Why am I so powerless and foolish?**_

_**Thought I held your hand, I can't even protect you**_

_**I won't say that I want you to forgive me someday**_

_**If you're going to fight alone now**_

_**Then that's a sure signal to me**_

_**Wishing for strength, you hid something**_

_**With your tears, for my sake alone**_

_**I want to show you the extraordinary view**_

_**Of that place at which we'll someday arrive**_

_**That's the signal to tomorrow, to the future...**_

xxxxx


End file.
